Does it really have to be like this with babies?

We've done it because holidays aren't just for the DC. We want to go on holiday and see new places too so DC come with us. We stay in bigger hotels with pools than we used to and stay in one place generally rather than a couple of days here then a train somewhere else for now but otherwise we have the same kind of holidays we had pre-DC.

From the beginning we said we would try to be flexible but not get frustrated if we couldn't be. Bought tickets for our usual festival for when DC1 would be 8 months before he was born on the basis that it is as naive to say "that's 100% doable and easy" as it is to say "that's insane and impossible". As it was it was doable and plenty of fun. But if it had turned out not to be that would be OK too.

I didn't just because I didn't feel it would be a a holiday, but could imagine it being quite stressful. We first went abroad when ds was 3 and that was hard enough, couldn't imagine them being any younger. I have a friend with 2 dc, aged 20 months and 7 months and they have been Dubai, Majorca and enjoy it.

We had a number of babies on our flight this year and my god the poor parents trying to keep them quiet while non sympathetic people openly tutted! Then you deal with not having your own stuff with you to ease them when you’re on holiday or you need to keep them in the shade etc- I can totally see why you wouldn’t bother taking them abroad until older. As for the nighttime routine-I had two sleepers, two non. Over tiredness if things don’t go to plan results in you being awake at 2 3 and 4 and them cranky the next day. (Ps I make parrying sound awful but there’s so many pros than cons but they do just become your right arm, always there in a lovely way but other people don’t always understand it’s easier to have them there than not)

We are due January and planning an abroad holiday next year but looking at all the logistics and extra things to take part of me thinks we may stay in the uk for the next few years. My other friend with a 4 month old has already been abroad with baby twice and is looking at New Zealand with baby next year!!! Madness in my mind but I think different parents do different things and worry about different things.

So both our families live abroad and we have visited them with our 1 year old. Staying with families is easier as we our not paying accomodations costs and actually have babysitters on hand which means we can go out for a meal or do something together. For me, it would not be worth paying the money for a holiday when so much of our day is determined by baby's needs and especially having to be back at every evening for 7pm. Just feels like a complete waste of money for time being.

Before I had a baby, I thought my life would stay the same but soon realised baby was much happier/settled with a routine. We pretty much stick to it about 80% of the time, and do some naps on the go at weekends to see friends etc.

They travel to you for a while?

I traveled extensively with my baby - they are easy and portable. My toddler not so much - its just AIs with a nice kid's pool now.

I am a pretty easy going parent but I always kept to nap times because both my kids were such devils if they were tired it was easier for everyone all round. Small baby happy to sleep on the go but we're always back home by 13.30 with the 2.5 year old so they can nap.

Depends on the baby. I have been really lucky to have chilled babies. We’ve not been abroad as we can’t afford it but have just come back from a festival with 4 kids including a baby and toddler. Toddler napped on floor at night under coats and baby in her pram whilst we watched the bands . I don’t know what the answer is though—I have kids that have no bother sleeping wherever. I love my sleep and think they have inherited it. I have never been rigid in nap times or chained to the house….but that’s because they haven’t needed it. If they do a crotchety kid is no fun anywhere

Holidays abroad with toddlers would be depressing to me. All the same shit as at home, but without your home comforts like baby gates, washing machine, separate bedroom to escape to when they go to sleep.

I remember we went away when our first was 9 months old. It was fun, but also tedious. We just sat around whispering to each other once he was asleep. I'd rather save my money and put it towards holidays abroad once they can go into a kids club!

YANBU - everything’s a choice. Maybe they are friends you drop for a while…

All babies are different, some are high needs and cranky. My 10m son is easy going and adaptable. He comes everywhere with us. As far as overseas holidays go, we’ll only go to somewhere with a crèche otherwise it’s not really a holiday watching a v mobile and active baby that needs entertaining every minute of the day.

Yes this! This is the reality of "babies are portable": hours of screaming and screeching...😖

Also it's not about whether you are strict with routines or not. I absolutely wasn't until he stopped napping in the pushchair. And once you get to that stage it's easier to have a loose routine so you can try to plan stuff around it.
It will also depend on your childcare situation: nursery or childminders might have set routines and the kids get used to it.

My experience with babies is that you can either have predictability with the baby’s sleep or you can have flexibility, but usually not both. Parents choose what they think will give them the best quality of life. 🤷‍♀️ Some people value the sleep predictability, others value the flexibility. I think it’s a bit ignorant and mean to judge parents on what they choose as different people are allowed to value different things.

Our first were twins and we had a really strict nap schedule because without it, we were really getting no sleep (one would wake up just as the other was going to sleep, as infinitum). The nap schedule meant they slept so much better at night and I also had predictable times of the day when I could sleep or get stuff done. We did, however, take them on holiday to all sorts of places. We went to Asia when they were 3 months old. I am a big believer in traveling with babies whilst they are free and immobile!

My third needed to be a lot more flexible with her nap times as I had the other two to think about. She was a happy and portable baby, but the sleep was very unpredictable and she took about 2 years to sleep through the night. That was not such a big deal for us, though, because there was just one of her. 😅

My babies were quite portable, I was never one to be ruled by nap times. Dd2 hated sleeping anyway no matter where she was so being at home or not didn’t make any difference. some people prefer to stick to a strict routine and that’s their choice, I used to find it a bit frustrating when making plans with friends, but you have to do what you have to do to make life easier.

I get not wanting to go abroad though with a baby. You still have to do everything you have to do with the baby, just in a hot and unfamiliar environment. The baby will probably not really enjoy it and may well be a lot less settled than at home. Abroad holidays are lost on under 5s. So unless you’re desperate to to, there’s not much point.

Mine was very portable and easy going. It probably helped that we have always done long car journeys, no routines, no lifestyle changes, and I took the advice of not being quiet during daytime naps so baby learned to sleep through anything. Now she’s a teen she sleeps through her alarm clock! Hmm?

Their babies their rules.

seems a bit weird to just decide now not to travel etc to me but we travelled, mainly for family reasons, and had babies who would sleep anywhere.

Beyond the naps concern, there is the practicality of taking a baby/toddler on a plane. With an 18mo and a 2mo, we travel with a loads of stuff (travel cot, car seat, pushchair, toys,...) and I would find it difficult to manage with less - although I know lots of parents do it so it's also personal preference.

At the moment we go were we can drive, so UK or France. When they are older and can enjoy walking and visiting places we will take them further abroad, hopefully 4-5 yo.

But also our toddler only naps in a bed, usually 3h in the afternoon and sometimes 1-2h in the morning. Then he goes to bed at 7-8pm (he wakes up very early). That would massively limit what we can do within foreign countries opening hours, and yes we can skip/shorten a nap here and there but only occasionally.

Also we waited until our dc was 7 to go abroad mainly because we felt they would enjoy uk holidays more and we didn't want to sully our holiday memories by doing abroad with a toddler😂

My first 2 were very portable, they would just fall asleep were ever we were.the third was a very screamy child and had specific nap times ideally at home. We were ruled by this . Luckily it prepared us as he has asd so we lead a very structured life now. Be empathetic to your fri and see how it is for you

Babies can be portable. My dc would nap anywhere. It was easier to get them to nap in a pram than a cot. I also trained them to sleep in noisy conditions. I didn't want to be stuck to home at set times.

Before aged 1 we did 3 foreign holidays and a uk break with dc1. Then stuck to twice a year abroad once in the uk.

Holidays aren't as much fun once you have dc.

Mine would only nap in the buggy or sling (we didn't have a car, so not sure about that). It was very regular, they just hated the cot. A sort of mobile routine. Annoying if you want to get stuff done at home but great for adventuring.

They've been all over the place and we didnt feel the need to come home for naps. Terrible sleepers at night though so being on holiday is just be knackered somewhere else. But I maintain before the toddler years kick in is a great time to travel (white noise on planes!), they're pretty portable. We lived overseas for years as well so of course all our friends were taking their kids intercontinental as soon as they got passports.

But I can also understand if they won't nap, or you're feeling worried about things, you might feel differently. It's a bit of an interaction between the actual baby and the parents I think.

I had one portable and one non-portable baby - twins - so it was a routine and naps at home for us. I wouldn't describe it as a strict routine though (and I think this is probably true of a lot of people who have a "strict" routine) - I was quite flexible around the kids, like when they started not falling asleep at nap time I would move it on by half an hour, till eventually they dropped one nap after the other. Where I was strict was when other adults asked us to cone and do stuff during nap time, I would say no or invite them to our house. So where people maybe saw me as having invented this strict routine and held everyone to it, I saw it as protecting my children's need for sleep.

About the holidays, until my kids were about 5 or 6 there was basically nothing they would do on holiday that wasn't hanging out with us, so we did lots of kid things, playing on the beach, going to like theme parks and stuff - but apart from that it's just childcare in a place that we don't know very well. Hotels remain a pain in the arse because you have to share a room - we've tried to book adjoining rooms a few times but yet to find a chain of hotels that bothers to actually reserve you adjoining rooms even if they agree to it at the time of booking. Our kids are 11 now and they sleep OK in those circumstances and they're OK to stay out for dinner but doing it when they were little would have been really shit.
I think if you're the kind of person who mucks in and has plenty of energy you can certainly go abroad when they kids are little but if you like a bit of quiet time, the best way to get it is to stay in your own home with your kids in their routine.

We and our friends have all gone on 1+ holiday. 8-10m is pretty perfect imo. But some are coming up to 2 some went at 3m.

We arent going away with 18m dd1 this summer because of finances so a holiday of daytrips is what we are doing. I am quite lazy /have seen a lot of the world and have a nice house so can see myself not bothering to go on holiday until my 2nd is 2.5/3 and talking. But thats just my preference we def could if we wanted

Utter nonsense. We have 3 kids and took one of them away for the 1st time at 4 weeks, our other child was only 18months. It's easier to take an immobile baby away, toddlers are harder. As for naps we never did the napping in a specific place at a specific time, they nap on the go wherever, same with noise, there's no be quiet they are napping, carry on with life. My sister is shocked how my 2 year old will nap anywhere and through any noise, her one year old will wake at the tiniest sound and she does rigid naps. He doesnt sleep any better than ours did either.