Parents sleeping in living room so child can have own room

Sorry you're having a tough time. I can't add any new ideas but adult space is vital for marriage imo.

Do you have room in garden for insulated cabin room?

Do what works for your family. My husband started sleeping on the sofa downstairs in the lounge,as I've been suffering from horrid insomnia for years, and then had babies who stopped me from sleeping. It's much better now,as I have my own space and can properly relax without worrying about someone else snoring, being too hot, waking me up by turning around etc... Ideally, we'd have a 4 bedrooms house but it's not possible right now. My husband bought a king size sofa bed, he's got the TV (which I would absolutely hate in a bedroom). He can do as he pleases without disturbing anyone. Your husband might have to compromise for everyone's else's sake.

So pleased you found a solution to suit all.

@PlantsAndStuff I wondered what had happened in the end when the thread came back up. Thanks for updating and it sounds really positive for you all.

Sorry to hear about your divorce

Glad sleeping Alone in living room is working out

Wishing you much happiness OP. I'm so pleased to hear things are more settled for you.

Comment removed as I see it's no longer relevant.

That sounds like too many people in such a small space none of it sounds fair on anyone

You are doing your level and absolute best to sort this and balance everyone's needs. I haven't got anything to add to the suggestions about partitions etc but I want you to know you sound like a smashing Mum and I'm sending you warmest huggy type vibes

Having seen your floorplan, you and DH should move into the smaller of the doubles, DD13 moves into the box room, and the boys and DD15 share the bigger double. You can get a partition to separate the boys and DD.

But you have to stop DD15's slobbing too.

Nobody is "naturally messy and lazy" except people who are allowed to get away with living like that.

You need to make the older girl raise her game and start showing some self respect and respect for others.

I think before you move downstairs, you should approach your landlord about a partition on one of the bigger bedrooms.

Is DD13 under the care of a psychiatrist? Can you afford to get one for her?

I would move downstairs.

My DH and I slept in the lounge for a couple of years to allow our boys to have their own rooms when it was needed temporarily a few years back. It was fine. It was the best solution at the time and I look back on it now with fond memories. Sleeping in the lounge isn't so bad! Sounds like your children would really benefit. In a few years the house will be quiet and you'll have the whole house to yourselves (and will miss sleeping in the lounge to give your daughter's their own rooms. Hearing them upstairs happy, listening to music, chatting etc...). Your children are only young once. I'd say prioritise them now and you and your husband won't regret it!

You can’t have a sleeping area in the kitchen for all sorts of health and safety reasons but mostly, in this instance, the lack of space. Where do you think the bed and bedding is going to go when people are cooking? It will also stink of cooking smells.

You clearly are having a tricky time and I cannot imagine how hard its been having a child in such a state so please forgive me if the following seems in any way intensive.

However speaking from experience, please for the good of your marriage avoid having to sleep in the living room and explore every other option first.

Zero privacy, zero space, sleep hygiene is dreadful, you have nowhere to go to escape when you need a moment, no pull down bed is ever suitable for two adults, intimacy is impacted.

We thought I'd be ok, and now years later it's taken a huge toll. You can't steer a ship if you're miserable yourselves.

Firstly, I'm sorry you're having a rough time and if I had to, I'd sleep in the living room for my children.

But I think there are better solutions that you don't need to.

Explore as much as possible the room separation ideas here. I'd be keeping dd13 sharing as a pp said, if she's suicidal then having her own room means she'd be more secretive possibly and I'd want her quietly watched and sharing a room allows for that.

It sounds like DD15 has adhd freeze. Look into coping mechanisms for that. Make it as easy as poss for her to keep room clean like pp said. No food in room rule. Storage, laundry baskets. I'm sure you do anyway but go clean the room yourself daily. If you went into living room you'd spend time making up a sofa bed and packing away duvet etc. why not spend that time cleaning their room and prevent it from getting mucky or smelly (I'm sure you do anyway).

If you really can't get a room separator then a curtain pole and acoustic curtains so there is some separation.

I understand why DH doesnt want to move. I think it might be a bit chaotic sleeping in a communal space. I know people are being helpful but a bed in kitchen area just sounds like a nightmare.

Looking at the floor plan, is it possible to get a double bed in the box room? Even if it takes up the whole room?

If you can then you could use that as your sleeping space, store clothes in the largest room.

If there is room for a double then consider a murphy bed with a sofa conversion.

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/435723332704157488/

So it is where you sleep but can be a bolt hole for anyone wanting a bit of a time out in the day / before bed.

Not as good as an extra bedroom and the girls would still be sharing but have a place to get away form each other.

We have room rules with boys that share as they are like your dd. No food and drink upstairs. They have to tidy through every evening. Dc with sensory issues has noise cancelling headphones that are worth their weight in gold as they listen to audio books

What I mean

I'd partition the living room with stud wall (does it have a window?) to create a hallway with stairs and kitchen access. You could also add in a cupboard or bedroom wardrobe.

Then you have a fourth bedroom.

Boys share the largest bedroom, then you and DH share second largest, then girls each get a small room of their own.

Use kitchen diner as family room, put TV on wall

It's not letting me add pics for some reason.

Actually, this is the best idea I've seen so far.

Sofa and tv in the dining room, and the lounge becomes your bedroom, with bed, wardrobes etc.

No he's not, FFS.

A bunk bed in the middle of the room

With some cleverly placed mdf to hide the other half from each bunk

Or done with curtains on each side though mdf would make it more private and easier to decorate and add a light in each cubby

Pinterest has a ton of great clever design ideas for exactly this situation

@PlantsAndStuff Haven’t read every message (have read OPs) so don’t know if this has been suggested or possible. I looked at the house plan and the only free space seems to be in the kitchen/dining room. This area seems to be a good size, so could you possibly make a private space in the dining area for a bedroom for you and DH?

You could perhaps have some units, at 90 degrees to wall, between end of the kitchen units and French doors to split the new area from the kitchen. Units could also be used for your clothes etc. If you have a table in there, at the moment it could be moved into the living area.

I know it would impact on kitchen and back access, but would give you all the privacy you need for sleeping. Boys could then have the biggest bedroom to share and girls a room each. I would be tempted to put dd15 in smallest room, because she is so messy (less space to mess up). Just an idea…