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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

All old people should sell up family homes for families.

712 replies

benigogo · 27/07/2023 13:13

Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

OP posts:
Cheesusisgrate · 27/07/2023 14:04

TheBloatedMiddle · 27/07/2023 13:57

when i say 'suggesting a world' I mean the OP is asking people to imagine a world where this might be the case. It's how I phrased it. But the point remains- if all older people are forced to move how is that done? It has to be done via the state stepping in, surely?

Op is asking people to explain themselves basically. Let's be honest, many of us would be interested in how they imagine this could possibly work instead of just "they should just move"
This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it.

watersprites · 27/07/2023 14:03

And what about foreign investors buying uk property? No one seems to mention them buying up property and often leaving it empty.

people mention this all the time plus many have benefited from the knock on equity gains.

NarcNarc · 27/07/2023 14:03

So what’s your view OP? Why are you not able to tell us?

Aphotoaday · 27/07/2023 14:03

And where are all these homes suitable for downsizing to magically being built?

Needmorelego · 27/07/2023 14:03

When my parents pass away I will inherit their fairly ordinary 3 bedroom 70s house. That’s the only way I will ever own a property. When I pass away it will go to my daughter. If she has children it can go to them and so on and on.
Isn’t that the whole point of owning a property ?

tinytemper66 · 27/07/2023 14:02

benigogo · 27/07/2023 13:13

Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

How about NO?!

Totaly · 27/07/2023 14:01

Some countries do this and you can never under occupy properties especially smaller islands. It does make sense.

But I think U.K. enjoy the freedom of choice.

nobodysdaughternow · 27/07/2023 14:01

I have no opinions about the size of house people live in, as long as they don't require my help to look after it.

If I could be grated one wish though, it would be that well-off people gift more of their money before they die, to help their kids and grandchildren.

A financial advisor once told me that even extremely wealthy people believe they 'need' all their money and that they only just have enough.

I can't imagine not sharing what I have with the people I love and hanging onto it until the tax man takes 40% and the rest goes on care home fees.

CollagenQueen · 27/07/2023 14:01

Of course you can't make people sell their homes. It's a pointless question.
Me and DH live in a 5 bedroom house. Both DC have left home. We clearly don't need this much space, but it's our home. This house will increase in value more than our money could grow in a savings account, so there's no point to down sizing. Why live in a smaller house, and be financially worse off in the long run? Imagine if the Government could just take a house that you've paid for, or even force you to sell it. Ludicrous.

Cheesusisgrate · 27/07/2023 14:01

TheCrystalPalace · 27/07/2023 14:00

Perhaps you should use some of your own boundless intelligence to actually read the OP and see what point she's making.

Bless, I was starting to think I lost it. People really need to start reading OP posts not just title.

JamSandle · 27/07/2023 14:01

No I don't think they should. But something needs to be done for younger buyers.

NarcNarc · 27/07/2023 14:00

I’m happy to go along with your suggestion if, in addition, you agree that all single people without dependent children must live in small apartments without gardens, that the government should force you to sell your car unless you only drive with all four seats occupied, that vaping be banned in public and in your own home, along with drinking alcohol. I could go on, but as I said, I’ll go along with your high handed suggestion about how other people should live if you agree to my equally nonsensical rules. Over to you OP.

watersprites · 27/07/2023 14:00

There should be fewer government incentives for first time buyers, and people who wish to downsize should be helped to do so if they need it.

That doesn't make sense

SquashPenguin · 27/07/2023 14:00

I live in a 5 bed house with just my partner and the dog. Why would I downsize when the house was up for sale for anyone to buy? We have all the space we want now, two spare bedrooms, an office and a dressing room. Not my fault a family of 5 didn’t buy it 🤷🏻‍♀️

TheCrystalPalace · 27/07/2023 14:00

Galatine · 27/07/2023 13:47

This post is not worthy of an intelligent response!

Perhaps you should use some of your own boundless intelligence to actually read the OP and see what point she's making.

watersprites · 27/07/2023 13:59

And pp are right there isn't enough suitable housing stock. My mum wants to downsize but she still wants off street parking.

Ponderingwindow · 27/07/2023 13:58

Still middle aged here, but my large house is a mix of family space and hobby space. I have plans for expanding the hobby space. I am a homebody and keep myself very busy with my hobbies. If I could afford a house twice the size, I might not struggle so much with getting equipment in and out as I try to work on big projects.

Downsizing is not in my plans.

watersprites · 27/07/2023 13:58

Maybe we should be restricted to two children max each and we could knock down all the 3+ bed houses and build more houses on those plots?

Err, birth rate is below that

AnxiousFairyQueen · 27/07/2023 13:58

Maybe older people should be euthanised? After all, they’re not contributing to the economy and they’re costing the nhs money and wrecking the environment.

What age should that be?

And what about foreign investors buying uk property? No one seems to mention them buying up property and often leaving it empty.

TheBloatedMiddle · 27/07/2023 13:57

when i say 'suggesting a world' I mean the OP is asking people to imagine a world where this might be the case. It's how I phrased it. But the point remains- if all older people are forced to move how is that done? It has to be done via the state stepping in, surely?

Nitgel · 27/07/2023 13:57

there are lots of bigger houses for sale here (herts) where they are probably in probate. plenty, problem is the price not availability.

watersprites · 27/07/2023 13:57

I don't think anyone can be forced to do something like that & shouldn't be. However I do think because of the ageing population, crumbling health & social care & pension age moving out that people should pay more towards their care when old. I'm not sure how's it sustainable otherwise and I think it will happen by default anyway. So people who can't afford it will have waiting lists yrs long &/or there won't be any state provision if they need carers etc.

pompomdaisy · 27/07/2023 13:56

All children should become millionaires and look after the aged in their families like many other cultures do.

escapingthecity · 27/07/2023 13:56

What about those family homes where different generations can gather together for Christmas and celebrations? One of my grannies had a massive house (I think there were 6 bedrooms) and having big gatherings with my cousins at Christmas was such a special part of our childhood. We couldn't afford many holidays so we used to go and stay with her because she had the space. When she had to move into a much smaller 3 bed house we saw a lot less of our cousins. Force all older people to leave their 4 bedroom family homes and where do those family memories get made?

RedRobyn101 · 27/07/2023 13:56

ariaknox · 27/07/2023 13:43

Don't care how old I am I'm never leaving my family home
As I get older and my children move out I'd always want a place for them to call home and come home to if they ever need to
Also same goes for my grandchildren.

If they want to stay in their home who's right is it to say otherwise
If I worked hard my whole like and purchased my home why would I want to leave because my kids no longer live there?

Sounds ridiculous to me

Unfortunately, you may not have a choice. As the elderly deteriorate physically and mentally. The safer option (often taken by their children) is to move the elderly relative from their home.

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