Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

All old people should sell up family homes for families.

712 replies

benigogo · 27/07/2023 13:13

Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

OP posts:
AliceMay55 · 27/07/2023 22:52

It’s not just “a” family home. It’s “their”HOME! I never understand how/why people feel entitled to other peoples property!
Whats old?

TheHateIsNotGood · 27/07/2023 22:48

Building more social housing is the only answer - funded by Central and Local Govt - over time the rents collected more than repay the costs of building.

Create legislation so that all 'land-banked' ground (ie: undeveloped land with PP) can be Compulsory Purchased by Govt for 100% social housing.

How desirable now are those well-built post war 'Council Estate' homes built onto the outskirts of nearly every city, town and village - very desirable- compared to the ill-built shoebox, cram-em in private development homes, with a smattering of 'affordable' dwellings or baksheesh (s.106/CIL) to the Local Council to dwindle away...

No getting sniffy about prefabs - I've lived in 3 - all still habitable 40 years after they were built.

And I'm wanting to downsize my family-sized home before I get 'old, old' - why wouldn't I - too much dusting and cleaning, when I could be 'out,out' instead.

User16496743 · 27/07/2023 22:46

LauraNicolaides · 27/07/2023 22:34

It's not really an issue of age. It's more an issue of under occupation. I'd support a property tax with a direct link to the value of the house - say 1% per annum phased in over some time as other elements of fiscal policy changed (in particular reductions in other taxes). People would be more inclined to think about moving out of houses too big for their needs if there was money to be saved.

But how does that work when some 4 bed houses are only £300k and some 2 beds are £800k depending where you live, families in small houses could be paying a high tax and still be over occupied

Someoneonlyyouknow · 27/07/2023 22:46

As an older person who has recently downsized I would like to ban families from buying bungalows!

changeyerheadworzel · 27/07/2023 22:42

Thepossibility · 27/07/2023 22:39

Yes

Then she has every right to enjoy the home she built and paid for, clutter and all.
I cannot understand how there is this notion that elderly people that OWN their own homes should downsize, it is their home, they paid for it, they own it.

Housing association is completely different.

Thepossibility · 27/07/2023 22:39

changeyerheadworzel · 27/07/2023 22:23

Does your nan own her home?

Yes

StripyHorse · 27/07/2023 22:39

DF died earlier this year, DSM is alone in a large 4 bed detached. Although she wants to remain for the time being (she isn't ready to move away from their home) I think she eventually wants to downsize.

The estate agents she has spoken to, testing the waters, have all said there is a shortage of bungalows (which is what she would want). She wants at least 1 spare room and a garden. When they do come up a 3 bed bungalow costs about the same as 4 bed detached. The demand is there but developers just aren't building bungalows.

Orders76 · 27/07/2023 22:38

LauraNicolaides · 27/07/2023 22:34

It's not really an issue of age. It's more an issue of under occupation. I'd support a property tax with a direct link to the value of the house - say 1% per annum phased in over some time as other elements of fiscal policy changed (in particular reductions in other taxes). People would be more inclined to think about moving out of houses too big for their needs if there was money to be saved.

Well this is simply taxing an old person out of their home. What of they have spent every penny on buying the house and paying off the mortgage but will have little in retirement, little but enough along with growing vegetables etc.
Taxing them out of their home, or reclaiming their asset by deferring. Absolutely despicable.

UnfortunateTypo · 27/07/2023 22:35

There’s currently 15.5 million over 60s in the UK now (16.9m by 2035) and last year England built 1200 bungalows. Where are they supposed to downsize to? Round where I live crappy 2 bed bungalows start at 450k because there are so few of them.

My 76yo FIL is rattling around in a 5 bed house on his own which he hasn’t updated since the 1970s, so is worth about 400k. He can’t downsize be cause he can’t afford a smaller appropriate property and all the costs. It’s mad no one is planning for having such a massive elderly population.

LauraNicolaides · 27/07/2023 22:34

It's not really an issue of age. It's more an issue of under occupation. I'd support a property tax with a direct link to the value of the house - say 1% per annum phased in over some time as other elements of fiscal policy changed (in particular reductions in other taxes). People would be more inclined to think about moving out of houses too big for their needs if there was money to be saved.

changeyerheadworzel · 27/07/2023 22:23

Thepossibility · 27/07/2023 22:17

My grandparents will stay in their house forever because it's full of their shit. Maybe if they were minimalists, this would be more likely. Which is laughable.
If they were forced to move they would have to get rid of their things, that seems very cruel.
Kids are things that people have decided to acquire as well. I don't propose people should give them away to fit in a smaller house.
Nan loves her hoard as much as many love their children. She has things that are generations old.
Forcing her to give up her house and all her possessions sounds like we are sending her to jail for the crime of growing old.

Does your nan own her home?

hettie · 27/07/2023 22:21

We are in our 50's and own a 3 bed Victorian terrace in a city. It's not really that adaptable to old old age, but will likely be fine for the early retirement phase (if we make it to 67 🤞). But we will be settled in this is area and at mid 70s making a move is much harder ne erv mind the fact that adaptable accomodation is simply not available within our area. What the hell do we do. We can't move now (kids still at home, work etc). Moving at retirement will be costly and unnecessary and when we need a flat/something else we'll be old and incapable....

changeyerheadworzel · 27/07/2023 22:21

Violinist64 · 27/07/2023 21:56

@watersprites it is not entitled to be frustrated at high rents and the difficulty of getting on to the property ladder. It is, however, extremely entitled to think that someone who has worked hard all their lives and made sacrifices - gladly - for their families should be expected to give up their enjoyment of their homes because their children have flown the nest and they are older. Council and housing association homes are a very different matter as the tenants do not own their property but those of us who have paid hundreds of thousands of pounds over the years for our homes that belong to us outright can do as we please with our own homes and money.

Absolutely this. Bought, paid for , owned..2 bedrooms, 22 bedrooms, need the room, don't need the room, it matters not, it belongs to you.

Council and housing association homes are completely different. Why should an older woman who lives in a 4 or 5 bedroomed house be rattling around in it when there are a family of 6 who need that space. The woman does not own it, she has no right to it, she was given it when she had a big, growing family who have all flown the coop now. She has no need for a house that size from the housing association anymore so by right it should be given to those who DO need that space and the older woman should be give a smaller dwelling that meets her needs but there are very few of these dwellings available and then you have those who will not give up their house because they brought heir kids up there. That is wrong, they don't own a knob on the door and yet they stay put in a huge house in the middle of a housing crisis even when they are offered somewhere else. I can totally understand how people think that is morally wrong.

woodhill · 27/07/2023 22:17

Yes and people still,wouldn't necessarily be able to afford the houses

Thepossibility · 27/07/2023 22:17

My grandparents will stay in their house forever because it's full of their shit. Maybe if they were minimalists, this would be more likely. Which is laughable.
If they were forced to move they would have to get rid of their things, that seems very cruel.
Kids are things that people have decided to acquire as well. I don't propose people should give them away to fit in a smaller house.
Nan loves her hoard as much as many love their children. She has things that are generations old.
Forcing her to give up her house and all her possessions sounds like we are sending her to jail for the crime of growing old.

woodhill · 27/07/2023 22:16

Oh come on

moderndilemma · 27/07/2023 22:16

Remotecontrolatmyside · 27/07/2023 20:07

I think more elderly people should live together so they can support each other and give each other company. Life is easier when you have a community. This would have the added bonus of sharing bills so would be cheaper and would also free up homes so less house building would be needed so we'd all have more green spaces.

Ridiculous suggestion.

Maybe single parents could live together, supporting each other, giving each other company, forming a community, helping to look after each other's children while the Mum goes out to work in a factory... Oh wait a minute, that sounds like a 1900 work house.

Nope. Wouldn't want either option.

Violinist64 · 27/07/2023 22:11

@watersprites thewhole thread is about older people downsizing out of public spirited duty to free up their homes for supposedly needier people. The entitlement is breathtaking. I am glad you are able to own a home in London and that you realise that you are fortunate. Most of us do not live in London but property almost everywhere is eyewateringly expensive. I feel very fortunate to have my lovely home too but will not be pressurised into selling it.

Wiccan · 27/07/2023 22:03

Flopsythebunny · 27/07/2023 21:49

I love my 3 bedroom, 3 storey house with large garden that we bought in 1985. When I became disabled in 2016 we fitted 2 stair lifts and a walk in shower. We could never afford to downsize in this area

I agree , have worked hard to get our home just as we want it and chose it not only as it was a great house for our family but because it could have everything added for us later in life without moving .

watersprites · 27/07/2023 22:02

@Violinist64 who has actually said that on this thread though?

And why so much moralistic language, always the rhetoric around working hard & sacrifices. As I said I didn't work any harder or make any particular sacrifices, I was just gifted a large deposit. Likewise my parents bought in a rough part of London that went through incredible gentrification.

Violinist64 · 27/07/2023 21:56

@watersprites it is not entitled to be frustrated at high rents and the difficulty of getting on to the property ladder. It is, however, extremely entitled to think that someone who has worked hard all their lives and made sacrifices - gladly - for their families should be expected to give up their enjoyment of their homes because their children have flown the nest and they are older. Council and housing association homes are a very different matter as the tenants do not own their property but those of us who have paid hundreds of thousands of pounds over the years for our homes that belong to us outright can do as we please with our own homes and money.

Flopsythebunny · 27/07/2023 21:49

Canthave2manycats · 27/07/2023 14:52

Same, unless I couldn't manage the stairs or something. Even then I think I'd get a stairlift. I've put heart and soul into this house for 25 years. I like the location. I love my garden. Detached house and I don't ever want to live in a flat or a semi. All my furniture etc is to accommodate the size of home I have, and it wouldn't fit in a smaller one.

I love my 3 bedroom, 3 storey house with large garden that we bought in 1985. When I became disabled in 2016 we fitted 2 stair lifts and a walk in shower. We could never afford to downsize in this area

Sclover23 · 27/07/2023 21:46

I live with just my partner and would happily downsize as we don’t need 4 bedrooms, but I’m not prepared to give up my spacious kitchen and downstairs living space. every 2 bed property I see has tiny kitchens and small living areas. Maybe if properties were built to accommodate this more people would downsize!

watersprites · 27/07/2023 21:41

I only got on the ladder in London because I had 6 fig help to do so despite having a good income. Someone who doesn't have that help is not less deserving then me or didn't work as hard. Its also not entitled to be frustrated at having so much money tied up in rent & want housing security.

Violinist64 · 27/07/2023 21:41

Remotecontrolatmyside · 27/07/2023 20:07

I think more elderly people should live together so they can support each other and give each other company. Life is easier when you have a community. This would have the added bonus of sharing bills so would be cheaper and would also free up homes so less house building would be needed so we'd all have more green spaces.

I think this is the silliest suggestion yet. The idea of some sort of comune for "old people" supporting each other sounds great in principle but is completely unworkable. "Old people" are not some homogenous blob, they are individuals in exactly the same way as any other age group. In any case, not one person has yet decided what old is. From the way some posters are speaking, sixty is old and seventy is decrepit. As someone approaching retirement, l can assure you l am neither. In any case, we have worked hard all our lives and made our homes - and l repeat they are our homes - the way we wish them to be. The entitlement of some people on this thread is breathtaking. We have paid off our mortgages and bought our homes. Why should we move to a smaller home?

Swipe left for the next trending thread