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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to be thought of as old?

137 replies

PrinceHaz · 26/07/2023 09:32

I’ve met up with DD’s boyfriend’s mum a couple of times. DD says his mum thinks I’m really nice person but a bit old. I am 52 and she is 44.
It really stung for some reason. Although I am ‘old’ (I’m definitely not young), it was still a shock to hear it spoken plainly.
I don’t think I’m very old fashioned and I’ve always looked young for my age (until now).
AIBU to feel bothered by this?

OP posts:
littleblackcat27 · 26/07/2023 10:10

ShiteRider · 26/07/2023 09:56

I think you should be grateful she doesn’t want to spend time with you, she sounds like a twat.

Yep - there is that

Luxell934 · 26/07/2023 10:07

Strange the boyfriend felt the need to tell the daughter and she then felt the need to tell the mother. That’s really rude behaviour in my opinion.

Maybe she said something innocent like “Oh, she’s lovely. Really nice lady. I was shocked she was 8 years older.” Then when your daughter asked her BF what his mum thought of you. He just said “yeah she said your mums really nice just older” completely missing the context.

PurpleButterflyWings · 26/07/2023 10:06

DontEatCrisps · 26/07/2023 09:58

True- I had a colleague like this once who was endlessly making snarky comments about age (eg “I hope I have the confidence to wear bright colours like you do when I’m as old as you are!”) I was 37 she was 33 😭

Show quote history

😂

35965a · 26/07/2023 10:03

That’s weird. I’m mid-30s and my mum is mid-50s and I don’t even think of my own mother as old! I can’t imagine thinking someone 8 years older than me is ‘old.’

Since she didn’t actually say it directly to your DD or you I’d take it with a pinch of salt anyway. Even if it’s true your DD is very much in the wrong for repeating something negative to you.

LaMaG · 26/07/2023 10:01

She may have said you were older or old to have a kid that age, it may have been misinterpreted. Of course you are not told at 54!

Badtasteflump · 26/07/2023 10:00

Sounds like she's just young and immature 🙂. I wouldn't bother meeting up with her again, no need to get to know teen boyfriend/girlfriend families imo.

DontEatCrisps · 26/07/2023 09:58

PurpleButterflyWings · 26/07/2023 09:53

This is clearly a woman who thinks she's a lot younger than she is - and in her head she is in her late 20s ... You seem like a generation older to her as she thinks of herself as sooo young.

She probably thinks that she looks as young as her children as wel,l when in reality she looks what she is ... a woman in her 40s... She can go to gigs and dress trendy and 'act young' as much as she likes ... she's still a woman in her forties. That's what she looks like and that's what she is.

I've met plenty of women like this before in my time - who think they are younger than they are, and LOOK younger than they are. This woman is a cheeky cow @PrinceHaz and I would not give her any more headspace. I feel sorry for you though if your DD sticks with this lad, as this annoying woman will be family. Confused

She sounds so pathetic and immature. I would give her a wide berth to be honest. Also, as a couple of posters have said, your DD's boyfriend needs to have a word with her and tell her to stop, as she is being fucking RUDE!

True- I had a colleague like this once who was endlessly making snarky comments about age (eg “I hope I have the confidence to wear bright colours like you do when I’m as old as you are!”) I was 37 she was 33 😭

TheYearOfSmallThings · 26/07/2023 09:57

She shouldn't have said it to her son, he didn't need to repeat it to your daughter, and she should have known better than to say it to you. It obviously wasn't going to make you feel good about yourself, and your daughter should have known that.

I think sometimes we can be in denial of our age, and when someone we consider "older" turns out to be close in age, we can react badly. I recently said something about "our age" to a friend who is 3 years younger than me (both 40s) and she ruffled up like an indignant hen because in her mind she is in a totally different and more youthful and vibrant age group than me Grin. Maybe you said something suggesting you were similar ages, and her reaction was more about her age than yours?

Catspyjamas17 · 26/07/2023 09:57

I would think she was very rude, insecure and possibly a bit threatened by you in some way. I have always got on with people of lots of different ages - once you are an adult it doesn't matter what age your friends are!

ShiteRider · 26/07/2023 09:56

I think you should be grateful she doesn’t want to spend time with you, she sounds like a twat.

BringOnSummerHolidays · 26/07/2023 09:55

It's bizzare. I don't think people 8 years older than me as old. They are similar age to me.

PurpleButterflyWings · 26/07/2023 09:53

This is clearly a woman who thinks she's a lot younger than she is - and in her head she is in her late 20s ... You seem like a generation older to her as she thinks of herself as sooo young.

She probably thinks that she looks as young as her children as wel,l when in reality she looks what she is ... a woman in her 40s... She can go to gigs and dress trendy and 'act young' as much as she likes ... she's still a woman in her forties. That's what she looks like and that's what she is.

I've met plenty of women like this before in my time - who think they are younger than they are, and LOOK younger than they are. This woman is a cheeky cow @PrinceHaz and I would not give her any more headspace. I feel sorry for you though if your DD sticks with this lad, as this annoying woman will be family. Confused

She sounds so pathetic and immature. I would give her a wide berth to be honest. Also, as a couple of posters have said, your DD's boyfriend needs to have a word with her and tell her to stop, as she is being fucking RUDE!

PurpleButterflyWings · 26/07/2023 09:53

LOL @Campingsuperstar

PurpleButterflyWings · 26/07/2023 09:52

Campingsuperstar · 26/07/2023 09:50

Come on bro you can’t vibe together, you chillax in legit different wayz. Can’t be no fam with your differing chibes.

and maybe that’s a good thing.

😂

Campingsuperstar · 26/07/2023 09:50

Come on bro you can’t vibe together, you chillax in legit different wayz. Can’t be no fam with your differing chibes.

and maybe that’s a good thing.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 26/07/2023 09:50

Is she trying to be 'the hip young thing' in her son's eyes? It's a mean thing to say but at least you've been given a warning as to what's she like OP.

BunnyBettChettwynd · 26/07/2023 09:49

PrinceHaz · 26/07/2023 09:43

She didn’t say this directly to DD by the way, she’d never do that. She said it in conversation with her son.

If you've only met her a couple of times how do you know she would never say this directly to your DD?

You don't know her at all really and you don't need to. Don't let this woman influence the way you feel about yourself, her opinion is unimportant.

DontEatCrisps · 26/07/2023 09:47

Very odd thing for her to have said and also a bit odd that your daughter passed it on. You’re as old as you are, what’s to comment on?

MeinKraft · 26/07/2023 09:45

PrinceHaz · 26/07/2023 09:43

She didn’t say this directly to DD by the way, she’d never do that. She said it in conversation with her son.

Sounds like Chinese whispers (is that still what's it's called?)

bridgetreilly · 26/07/2023 09:45

You can’t control what other people think about you, and it says more about them than it does about you.

SusieTrevelyan · 26/07/2023 09:45

Tell your DD not to be a tell tale tit and also tell her boyfriend's mum that you do not appreciate having negative comments made about you behind your back. What is there were more serious issues at hand? What would boyfriend's mother say then? Sticky beak?!

Wiccan · 26/07/2023 09:45

PrinceHaz · 26/07/2023 09:43

She didn’t say this directly to DD by the way, she’d never do that. She said it in conversation with her son.

They never do OP they let there son or daughter do the shit for them .

Original poster
PrinceHaz · 26/07/2023 09:43

NessieMcNessface · 26/07/2023 09:43

It’s hard it know what she means by ‘old’. I think I’d take it as a compliment! She sounds rather immature tbh. I wouldn’t overthink it, just laugh it off and don’t doubt yourself. She may perceive herself as still a ‘young thing’ who has a bit of an issue with the idea of getting older, whereas you may be a bit more mature (appropriately so) in your manner; hence the comment.

Thanks. This makes me feel better.

OP posts:
Wiccan · 26/07/2023 09:43

Yeah Id distance from it you don't need that type of negativity in your life sounds like shit stirring to me .My DD has been with her partner 10 years and has a child and I have never set eyes on his parents or family .

Original poster
PrinceHaz · 26/07/2023 09:43

She didn’t say this directly to DD by the way, she’d never do that. She said it in conversation with her son.

OP posts:
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