To not want to be thought of as old?

• …her true perception
• Has it affected your dd at all…

People say this kind of nonsense to create distance, convincing themselves they’re sooooo young by comparison. I bet this is all to do with her feelings about herself and does not reflect their true perception of you one bit. Has it affected your dad at all? May be ask her if it has, and her view of what the bf’s mum has said.

That's hilarious, what a knob!
I agree with @Luxell934 and the posters who have said its likely been misheard/communicated - you are getting it third hand via 2 teenagers. And even if she did I agree its a bit of an odd thing to say but its hardly a huge insult - she didn't even say you were old, just "a bit old" and 52 is "a bit older" than 44, its nearly a fifth of her age again. In the same way theres a difference between a 35 and a 44 year old, or a 25 and a 35 year old...its not an age difference that for any reasonable adult should affect or influence your impression of anyone in any way, but its not something that's factually wrong or ridiculously mean to say.

She might even have meant it as a compliment, as in you seem like someone who has your life together and sorted, depending on your circumstances perhaps its something she envies.

Think it's more weird that so many people have jumped on to call her a bitch and immature because she does things like...go to gigs and has other "young interests" (no idea what this could even mean tbh!)? If it was the other way round (aibu to think I'm not to old to go to gigs at 44) posters would be falling over themselves to agree its a completely normal thing to do.

Honestly wouldn't give it any heads pace on its own.

One of my exes bewailed his lot in 'getting involved with an older woman' and put all our difficulties (his general arseholery leading to his being dumped) down to the 'significant age gap between us'.

I was 30 at the time he said this, just after my birthday in January.

He was going to be 30 in March.

BF's mum doesn't mean you're old compared to herself.

She thinks you're a bit old for her son.

You're 53, she's 44, I'm guessing her son is in his 20's.

I would be wary of labelling her as a bitch. I can imagine having a non-malicious chat to my older teens about something like
this. Eg ‘nice to meet x the other day. She seemed friendly but a bit older than I imagined’. Just an observation. It doesn’t have to be nasty. The mistake was for the bf to report to the daughter who then told the mum. Everything sounds worse when reported back.

I am 52 and look younger but I feel a hell of a lot older than I did at 44 due to the peri menopause. That’s ok and I wouldn’t mind someone saying that. I don’t actually
think being old is an insult though and wouldn’t want to get rid of my wrinkles. I might be an anomaly though.

Very rude

Ignore

I have no toyboy. My husband is 80. Now work that out, how old am I?

I'm early 40's and most of my friends are early 50's - I don't think of them as old at all, if that makes you feel any better! 😊

There’s only 8 years between you, what a cheek!

That's a possibility tbf.

Its the most likely thing I would say.

OP would have had her daughter at 35 so a fairly ‘normal’ age to have a child. OP has said she doesn’t act or look older. She’s also said the boys mum seemed nice. Based on all that, I’d say it’s unlikely the lads mum has said OP is old. If she has then clearly she’s a bit strange but it just seems unlikely.

That's a possibility tbf.

Woah that was mean of her. So uncalled for. For a start, you're not even a decade older than her and secondly I've always had friends of all ages and generally prefer people older than me actually. She really doesn't sound nice, at least you've found out early on what she's like. Avoid her.

I would imagine there’s been something lost in communication here, from mother to her son, from him to your daughter and then your daughter to you.

She'd have a field day with me, I'm 44 with a 5yr old and 15mth old lol

There's nothing wrong with being old. Since I passed 50, I've been embracing it and I'm happy to be thought of as a mad old woman 😂

Ouch. I'm 52 and have been asked a few times lately if I'm still working...

It comes to us all, that moment when you see yourself as others see you. My moment came when I was admitted to hospital and was handed a pelican bib at lunchtime.

She sounds awful. Remind her she'll be you in a mere 8 years?

Oh, and I'm the same age as you and we are definitely not old!

Boyfriend's Mum seems to have a hang up about age. She was what, 26, when she had her boy so was quite young? Average age for first baby was about 28 at that time. I honestly wouldn't let it worry you, in fact I'd be tempted to have a bit of fun with it if it ever comes up again - something along the lines of how similar you both are and weren't the 90s great etc.

I’m 42, seem much younger than that. My DH is 45 and seems much older. Maybe she meant “acts more mature”.

I'm almost 50 but a young 49 (i have a nine year old that keeps me young) but I would definitely have described my mum as old at 50 🤷‍♀️.
I've always had a young positive outlook on life where as my mum has always been very sensible and mature beyond her years .

Your daughters boyfriends mum is a pathetic immature dickhead.
I wouldn't bother seeing her again. Your daughters only 17 there's no reason to be introduced to the mum unless there's plans for marriage which I highly doubt based on the age.

Ignore.
I bet you are absolutely bloody fabulous.