To not want to be thought of as old?

My husbands parents I’ve always thought of as old. Ever since I met them, it’s the way they present themselves and their style is quite dated.

Sounds like she is in denial and desperately trying to be closer to Dds age than yours - reality is a bitch and will always catch up with you!

*split!

Life's too short to spend it with people who think you are boring! Why do you want to be friends with the BFs Mum? I'd keep her at arms length - they are only young and will probably spilt up. I wouldn't have too many qualms about cancelling this. She sounds tiresome.

First of all, being old is awesome.

second, at 44 she is old.

being old gives you have the wisdom to recognize the reality of the world. That life experience you have gained is valuable.

there is still plenty of aging to do and decades to live, but you get to do it much smarter.

A bit old 😂 she sounds like a teenager talking about anyone over 30! By her logic she's also a bit old.

Sounds like she's one of those women that's terrified of growing old and being thought unattractive, so carries on getting pissed and clubbing in her 40's. 🤣

Do you want to meet up with her? Just because she's your daughter's boyfriend's mum, doesn't mean you have to become friends?

I'll only go to a pub if I'm eating something as I've no interest in just sitting drinking, so I'd cancel the meet up and at a push, rearrange to meet up in a cafe at a later date.

I don't see anything wrong with being middle class, I wonder what class she considers herself and why any of that matters anyway. You also mention middle aged, well according to google average life expectancy for a UK female is 85.8 so I think that makes you both middle aged. It sounds like you have different interests to her, she may find your interests boring, personally I would hate an evening clubbing and be very bored with that. You could maybe try to find some topic of mutual interest but if not just accept whilst she sees you as boring you possibly see her as immature.

Why such a horror of being considered old, like it's the worst thing someone could be?

And why care about a possible comment- via two teenagers - from the parent of a child's boyfriend? I just can't imagine being affected by that. To me, that's one of the brilliant things about being "old", knowing where to put my energy and not giving any to the possible opinions of people who hardly know me!

I remember my grandparents' joint 50th birthday party and they were definitely old - I was 9! Now touching 60 with a 15 year old and my lovely dd3 delights in telling me that her friends think we are old ( her dad is 63) but we are so that's okay! I wouldn't though expect my dcs' partners' parents to make those comments. We do have 2 married dds in their 30s and their parents in law are older than us but I've never said it.

When you say you're an old 52, what does that mean? Does she maybe think you're much older?

Blooming cheek!
well this 40 something seems a right barrel of laughs, keep well away and avoid!
crikey you wouldn’t want her in your team!

It is very likely whatever she actually said and the context of the conversation have been lost/confused by the time you heard it from your DD, who heard it from her BF. Even if she did actually say/think you’re old(er) than her - well: factually you are almost a decade older. Instead of focusing on what she may have said, focus on why the idea of being perceived as “old” by a random person bothers you so much. Personally I see aging as a privilege and someone describing me as “old” wouldn’t offend me at all, because compared to them I may well be. And that’s fine.

Did she strike you as having some kind of learning disability or being on the spectrum?
Even so, most people learn how to rail it in!
I would have been stung too OP and I would never forget
I have news for her.
I am 54 and it took roughly 5 minutes to get from 44 to here 😩

She’s a dick and hardly 18 herself. She’ll definitely be one of the older ones if she’s clubbing etc. She’ll only be around as long as the bf - wipe her out of your mind!

😄

Yes - this

Maybe she just commented that you were an older mum ? (Ie late 30s when you had your DD?) Or a bit older than her and either her son or your DD misconstrued the comment ?
I'm an older mum myself - 10 years older than DS's GF's mum - but if it's been mentioned he's never told me!

I think it highlights her immaturity to think that a mere 6 years between you bumps you up a generational age gap (which still wouldn’t make you old). Don’t give this childish comment the time of day.

Our next door neighbour used to say this to DM, because they both had adult daughters, so in her mind she and my mum were the same age.

In actual fact, she was 88 and my DM was 48! Her DD was about 15 years older than DM herself. It’s bizarre how incorrect people’s perception of their age can be.

My DP's mum is younger than my mum but seems much older.

The way she dresses, music, etc. She's quite stuck up too to add to it.

Think it's more weird that so many people have jumped on to call her a bitch and immature because she does things like...go to gigs and has other "young interests" (no idea what this could even mean tbh!)? If it was the other way round (aibu to think I'm not to old to go to gigs at 44) posters would be falling over themselves to agree its a completely normal thing to do.

Yeah it’s a bit of a leap with zero context, re a comment that’s passed through two different teenagers since! She could have said anything, perhaps she was talking about herself having been a younger mum and OP older when you both had your children - there’s so many ways this could have got confused.

If I was OP I’d give her the benefit of the doubt and shrug it off, obv even if she did say it it’s BS.

Is there some context behind it, seems odd for her to say it to her son. For e.g you said no to your daughter doing something and cool ‘young’ mum is ok with it.