To find it upsetting how differently I’m treated with weight on me

I see so many ugly people together or I see one of the partners is good looking and the other one isn't and it completely baffles me

YANBU - You are being perfectly reasonable, but should not be surprised by this. It is a perfectly natural reaction, which some people can suppress and many more can see past, to recognise the "real" you. But most people never get the chance to get past that initial reaction.
The problem is that your appearance is what we see first and is the only basis we have to know you at that instant. The real you is something that takes time and opportunity to discover.

Corpulence is only one such cue. Other people have even more permanent, and more off-putting appearance. Speech impediments also tend to prejudice people. Some people have very unpleasant body or breath odour. As with all accidents of birth, people have to put up with the body they're given and make the best of it.

Sorry to say, IMO, you may even be a bit lucky! You may be able to alter your body - an option denied to many. Also there may be some positive affects (sic) associated with corpulence - good humour, being relaxed and congenial, being maternal. They may not be appealing to you, but some people do find them positive.

I get so annoyed with that, whatever is wrong, the first thing they say is it’s because you are overweight. The unsaid comment of course is ‘so it’s entirely your own fault. You go off and lose weight and we’ll see how you are doing then. Because it’s that easy. I did an NHS course an hour a week for 10/12 weeks on nutrition and exercise. It was a total waste of time. My bowel condition flares up. I don’t eat for a week and I lose weight and get loads of praise but it’s not healthy. I put it back on as soon as life gets bad anyway.

I am not fat but never forgot when I was in my 20s and put on some weight. I was very very slim. Probably underweight. I was a size 6 and went to a size 10. This guy came to me and said what happened to you? You were so pretty!! You lost all the angles in your face!!!
I know it's not exactly what the thread is talking about but a slightly chubier face and I was being already considered ugly by that weirdo. It stuck with and that's over 20 years ago. I am size 12/14 and quite happy with the way I look.
But definitely there is prejudice. People assume fat people are less inteligent, less competent at work, etc.
I have caught myself with these kind of thoughts. I think a bit of my prejudice is from thinking the person is not very much on top of their life if they are overweight? A bit like people that dress better are considered more competent at work. Or if you pretty you are treated better than if you are ugly? As someone said humans are very visual.Of course it is all down to misconceptions and the media reinforces the issue

Yes deffo I’m currently a 16-18 having been a 14 at the start of the year - it’s ridiculous really how people treat me

Yes it’s stark when you’ve experienced it first hand.

I was morbidly obese (more than 125kg) and I am currently 65kg.

Even doctors treat me differently now.

I'm 14 stone and there are definitely men who I can think of who treated me completely differently when i was 12 stone (I did look better),

Totally agree!! What a fatuous and unnecessary remark to make...the OP wasn't asking for judgment nor patronising advice!!! 🙄😡

@Letsgetouttahere2023 bloody hell, if I had realised it was that simple I would have done it years ago. What a tw*t.

There might of course be some truth in this and it is feasible, HOWEVER Size 16 is hardly obese is it and that is the size mentioned by the OP?! I am 75 years old with some health issues that require me to take medication which has caused me, along with inactivity due to arthritus, to put on a couple of stone over the last few years but would not consider myself to be 'obese'...it's difficult to say if I am now treated differently because when you get older you become invisible anyway so old AND fat, forget it!!! 😱

Hmm, got me thinking now!
At my heaviest, women were nicer to me.
At my lightest, I attracted very controlling men.
Men always seem to be rude to me actually, regardless of weight.

Yeah it's a thing. Not so much now I'm older, but when I was in my early 20s I was quite big. Lost a load of weight and male colleagues who just used to talk to me like one of the boys, suddenly started being flirty. Pissed me off because I was still me. I also noticed that female friends suddenly became wary when I was around their partners. Which also pissed me off - I hadn't suddenly become a man-eater. Time to concentrate more on how you feel about yourself and worrying less about how others perceive you ☺️

Yep! That’s the way it is….

Welcome to our fatphobic society 😟

It would probably be best if you leave the internet. But nothing is ideal is it?

It’s not just weight though. Possibly some people experience being treated differently to when they are larger but it’s a lot more about how you present yourself as a person. What you wear, nice hair, make up and most importantly how you convey yourself E.g smiling at others. I have both fat and thin friends. My friend who is fat looks absolutely amazing because firstly she takes care of herself (for her benefit, no-one else), she has a beautiful smile and is so warm and approachable, people just gravitate to her. She gets a lot more positive attention from others because of this, not whether she’s overweight or not.
I’m sure there are a minority of people who just judge others on their weight, but you could argue there will always be people or judge others for all sorts of reasons such as what they wear, how tall or short they are, skin colour etc.

You are not being unreasonable at all for thinking and observing you are treated differently .
That's the way we are as human beings . But the most important thing is how you feel about yourself . If you think you need to change the way you look and it will make you feel better then do it
it's not easy to loose weight . Loosing weight works better when the decision comes from you .
am currently paying £30 for 45 mins to a trainer twice a week to help me and the rest of the week 3 days am either doing power walks or jogging
.
it's not easy at all but I am happy to put in that effort because I must be honest I look at people and think how on earth did they wait to get to this stage but it's not their fault .
everyone has different challenges and is ready at their own time as long as they are happy

Genius

Oh do fuck off

Letsgetouttahere2023
It's evolution in action. Being obese is super super bad news for your health and subconsciously all humans recognise this.

Not sure that this is true. Carrying extra weight has long been a desirable evolutionary trait in women to see them through lean times and through prolonged breastfeeding. Steatopygia, for example. And the Ice Age Venuses. Societal preferences are another matter, and are frequently linked to economics.

DH found this when he was obese. People didn't smile at him in the street or stop and ask for directions anymore (live in Central London so very common). He thinks people's fatism impacted progression at work too.

“I don’t agree that we should stop trying and simply recalibrate our lives to accept the fact that everyone is now going to just live shorter less healthy lives”

fine, but how is that relevant on a thread where people are talking about how and why fat people are treated badly?

That's a fair comment and horrifying - I hadn't seen that particular thread but I take your more general comment.

There are definitely active threads on here right now where people are denying certain treatment is dished out to black people and other minorities btw. I had to leave one thread because I was disgusted by the amount of excuses people made for the London met officers arresting a black woman in front of her child for allegedly not paying her bus fare (and it was later revealed she did pay it ) racial gaslighting happens all the time.

I don't think people are generally disrespecting me now that I'm larger, but the invisibility is a thing. People literally look through you, and it has nothing to do with confidence or whatever - I haven't spoken! I always greet people with a smile and the intention to make friends/have a friendly chat at least, and I'm happy to instigate a conversation. But still.
For example, I was once out with two friends, one a few years older, they were both about size 10, I'm was a size 18. We are well in to middle age so not nubile young things to be flattered by attention. We were having a good catch up and enjoying ourselves. Yet the waiter barely registered me. Took my friend's orders first and I had to state mine (rather than him asking me). Got their orders fine but got mine wrong. When he came over to check on us later he looked at both of them for confirmation but only glanced at me without waiting for a response. Repeat repeat repeat.