To find it upsetting how differently I’m treated with weight on me

Exactly. It was probably once 'normal' to smoke (in that most adults did), it doesn't mean it was a good idea, though. Of course overweight people shouldn't be stigmatised or treated less well than others but being overweight is bad for you. Pretending otherwise is not helpful, assuming most people want to live as long as possible in good health.

What I noticed when I was size 16/18 and slightly tipped into the obese zone for BMI, was that people's perception of me seemed to be that I was in their way more, or that I was even bigger than I was. So many times I'd be standing looking at something in a shop and someone would say "Excuse me!" (or just barge into me) and I'd look behind me and you could have practically driven a bus down the aisle, and they could have easily got past without my needing to move at all.

There is really not that much difference in terms of how much space in the world I am taking up now at size 12/14 and it never happens.

@Needanewnamebeingwatched teach me 😫😫😫 I’m 22/24 and can’t cope anymore.

I totally agree I've recently gone from size 20 and invisible to size 8 and suddenly visible, people smile at me and make conversation.

Crazy, I'm still the same person.

@BlossomCloud Well done for speaking out, this is how ignorant people learn. Don't stop!

It's not that we're shallow - it's not a conscious thing. But we do treat beautiful people differently. Subconsciously

It’s definitely a thing. I’ve experienced it too. People will try to claim it’s just because you’re more confident when you are thinner and people respond differently to that, but this is a crock of shit. People are arseholes to fat people.

I mean,.imagine if this thread was about race or gender instead. I can't see people falling over themselves to justify why they treat people of a different race or gender differently.

Of course fat people are treated differently. The problem is that slim people have no idea until they get fat!
For those of us that have been overweight since childhood it doesn't hit so hard as we are used to being ignored if we are lucky or being on the receiving end of unwanted comments if we are unlucky.
I was reading a thread the other day that pointed out that men would approach a fat woman for sex as they felt they had a better chance of success, because the fat woman would be desperate and take any man that would have her. I think there are discussions and tips on reddit about how to go about picking up a fatty.
It's shocking and it made me question every encounter with a man that I have ever had.

This is exactly why I don't believe in the theory of evolution.

In a work meeting, astonishingly. Something to do with who would be best placed to sit on an advisory group. I nearly stayed quiet then I realised I needed to call them out on their prejudices.

The point is that many people think it’s right that fat people should be treated badly. Because otherwise how will they have any incentive to lose weight, and that is considered the MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL. Never let a fat person forget they are fat and that that is a bad thing, it is extremely dangerous.

of course, that attitude just creates more fat and fatter people. So it doesn’t work.

I've gone from a size 8 to a size 20 and yes, I am treated differently now. There's a sort of condescension when people speak to me that wasn't there before. People have shouted things at me in the street ('oi fat cunt' from a car for example).

It's shit.

Wait, is it normalised or not? If people are being treated badly because of their weight then it isn’t being normalised is it? That’s the definition of stigmatised.

But we are drawn to people who mirror ourselves so of course slim people would gravitate away from you and toward other slim people.

Nah, it's dickheadery in action.

HTH 😊

I think it’s because the diet industry has made body size a moral issue. And the industry itself needs us to fail - if everyone managed to stay slim the industry collapses. At the same time we have essentially addictive foods being marketed at us and essentially being the focus of many social activities.

So we end up in this weird dichotomy. We should ‘work’ at being thin, we need to be ‘good’ and stick to our diet to get and stay slim. And if we can’t we’re ‘bad people. But also worrying about your shape is vapid vanity, people who diet are boring and can’t just enjoy a spontaneous meal/snack/treat. And obviously it’s rude to ever refuse food but also rude to ask for dietary accommodations.

So, to avoid moral judgement, we need to enjoy food, join all social occasions and not worry about what we eat but also ensure we don’t gain weight even through disability or illness.

@BlossomCloud Jesus wept.. in what context did someone declare you weren't a gym goer!? Rude person

Hey, guess what, fat haters? Fat people don't owe you thinness. We don't have to show our compliance to your agenda by restricting food all the time. We don't have to apologise for our existence. It doesn't actually matter how we got fat, we are not obliged to put life on hold until we are thin enough to deserve to live again.

Evolution doesn't give a stuff about culture etc, so you're wrong to quote such things. In fact evolution itself does it's best to reduce obesity by making obese people less likely to conceive and more likely to die of numerous causes early. So in fact it is you (Escape...) that has no idea what you are talking about.

You missed out the words "by ignorant people" after the words "often perceived".

My weight gain was caused by steroids, I was slim my whole life until then. I am losing weight easily now I am tapering off the steroids. But if you want to think of me as stupid more fool you (I have two first class degrees and a high flying job)

Yes someone looked astonished the other day when I mentioned in passing that I did a particular sport (it was relevant to the conversation). In fact I am incredibly accomplished at that sport and competed all over the country until I got ill. I love sport and being active, and push through my illness more than I should because I love exercising so much.

And a few months ago someone used me in a meeting as an example of someone who wasn't a gym goer and I am afraid I called them out on it publicly (I actually have two gym memberships because I love swimming and that means I can go at whatever time best fits each day ) . They were suitably apologetic at least

When people are very overweight (size 16 upwards) they're often perceived as less smart/mentally stable because it can indicate a lack of self-control or mental instability. Everyone who can read knows how to lose weight and the health dangers of over-eating, so the inability to maintain a relatively healthy weight is in itself unattractive both physically and personality-wise.

So...have you read the OP? What she's saying is that when she gains weight, people are horrible to her including her parents. In what way does that equate to a looking glass world where being fat is treated as intentional and desirable? If it was, the OP wouldn't experience this treatment. So don't worry, we aren't living in the imaginary world you fear!

No one on the thread is arguing that being overweight is a good thing - the argument is that it's not pleasant to be treated poorly because of it.

I know there is a contingent of posters on MN who truly believe the way to get people to lose weight is to ensure they feel ashamed and awful about it. That by keeping fatness stigmatised and fighting against any accommodation of it in society is the way to conquer it. All I can tell you, is that shame and self-disgust is not a motivator for most people to treat themselves well and make their bodies healthy. It actually encourages self-destructive behaviour and ultimately leads to more weight gain in the long term.

This thread is about treating everyone with respect; I can't understand why some people want to defend the right to be cruel instead.

I definitely notice a difference in reactions to being a size 12 to a 20.

I’ve fluctuated a fair bit over the last few years because of bad mental health and am currently at my biggest. Everyone pretends I don’t exist or I’m condescended to. I can’t even go to the gym without people treating me like I’m Typhoid Mary. I want to get fit and I’m laughed at for enquiring about fit classes. Ridiculous.