Hot and bored on holiday

On Saturday afternoon I was walking home in front of two blokes. The English one, who was obviously local to me, was walking his American friend home from the station. He'd been travelling through Europe and had come to stay at his flat. BTW I couldn't help eavesdropping because they were talking loudly, not that there was anything wrong with that, it's just the way it was.

The American had done various places on his trip and had just come in from Malta. He was enthusing about the Blue Grotto, which I've been to and it's every bit as good as they say.

He said: "I knew when I got to London it would be raining." His friend apologised and he said: "No, it's great."

What a bloody shame - I haven't had a holiday for 4 years (ill health, lack of money). It keeps raining here, too. Would you like to swap, OP?

Oh you poor soul, not a thing to please you, so much hardship and displeasure. It must be so awful being you. I feel for you (and your poor family).

Aw poor sausage

Op, you have a dh problem, not a holiday house in the heat problem.

Here is what you must do.... Step 1: Grab paper and a pen, have another glass of wine, and write a detailed plan of what your ideal holiday would look like.

Step 2: Show it to dh and inform him that this is what you will be doing next year.

Hope this solves the problem!

P. S. I would hate your current holiday too.

It sounds like you’re lonely not bored Op. He’s out for hours at golf, cycling, won’t sit outside and chat in the evening.
Holidays often magnify things. Divorce enquiries go up after Christmas and summer hols.
At home you probably both have a busy life. It’s a lot more obvious when you are away how little time he’s wanting to spend with you.
Just because it looks marvellous - isn’t Op lucky she’s in a nice house with a pool in Spain - doesn’t mean you are spoiled or ungrateful if you say actually it’s not working for me anymore.

Well it’s only going to get worse year on year so tell your DH this is the last time you go there in full-on summer, stick to half-terms when it’s cooler or sell the place if that’s unacceptable to him.

I just joined and I’m shocked at how horrible people are.

I get where you’re coming from OP. It’s miserable to be in a lovely place and too hot to do anything. Last year, after a glorious week at DFIL’s Alpine chalet, we headed down to my parents’ in the Var (deep in Provence, my mum is Provancale).

We arrived during the canicule and I’ve never known heat like it! All I could think about or talk about was how hot I was. The pool was like wasp soup full of splashy kids (our own, the neighbours’, some random ones.), and at one point several dogs popped in for a cooling down. The only tolerable activities we’re driving with the air con on and laying in front of the fridge on the stone floor in my underwear (much to the bemusement of French cousins.)

I’ve never been so happy to arrive in boring, bracing le Touquet!

I get bored by dat 3 on holiday too tbh. I never stop usually so sitting about is alien to me. I'm usually in pissing it down Scotland or Wales but still....

Op it sounds like you are sacrificing your own holiday preferences for DH and the kids. You are going to need push back and start coming up with your own holiday plans, even if it means leaving the DH and kids on their own while you do your own thing either solo or with friends. Your holiday is just as important as theirs.

I can recommend any of the Scandinavian countries.

Even without this extreme heat, this is no holiday for you and you need to stop letting your DH dictate your life or accept this is your lot . He sounds incredibly selfish and has no clue or interest what makes you happy as long as his life ticks along ok like pretty much all men I know who earn loads and have a time consuming hobby usually golf or cycling often both

Unfortunately the women I know who decided enough is enough ended up divorced but all now 100% happier for it albeit with some difficulties around the actual divorce ( no surprise I’m sure but these men aren’t quite so generous when it comes to divorce). Obviously not all high earning husband’s are selfish gits and not all conversations end in divorce but it’s certainly my experience as someone living in affluent largely middle class commuter belt.

Oh dear @olympicsrock you really are stuck then aren’t you!

Just out of interest, what would your ideal holiday be? If you could sell this holiday home and buy another, where would you choose?

God the mumsnet bastards are out in force today aren't they OP? They pretend they are virtue signalling but they just like to kick someone when they are down and they are jealous.

How fucking dare you be on holiday when other people can't be?! How dare you be not enjoying it when there are people in this country that can't afford food?! God the amateur dramatics of some posters. People have different lives and different levels of wealth. Money does not equal happiness.

Sounds awful and dull OP. I'm menopausal and can be too hot in the very depths of winter. It also sounds far too hot to do anything enjoyable. My DH has mooted having his bike on holiday so he can go for days out on it. I've totally vetoed it. Don't give a damn if the makes me controlling. We've already lost all the Sunday activities we used to do together. No more breakfasts out followed by a long hike across the moors or a riverside walk. Instead he goes out for a long morning bike ride of several hours, then schleps about in sweaty Lyra and then sleeps all afternoon in front of the box. Sunday is my one day off a week and they now feel like a total waste of life.

Things I might do:

Have a cool shower, then a nap
Make lists of things-Xmas gifts, or house reno plans
Order an Amazon delivery of craft stuff
Write a letter
Plan out a novel
Phone a friend
Drink myself into oblivion

I’d definitely have the conversation that it’s not working for you.
The holiday they are on is very different this year (city sightseeing)

I knew the problem a fucking useless DH and a spectacular inability to communicate.

Made your sweaty bed, lie in it.

sounds horrible op-only thing imjealous of is the aircon

It will be even hotter next summer, too hot to holiday in Spain.
In a few short years teenagers won’t want to holiday with you.
Give it a few more years and you may be physically unable to travel to a holiday destination.
Some time after that you may be dead.
Make the most of life, whatever it brings, because in retrospect you’ll wish you’d

made more of it while you could.
How about writing a book?
Trace you family tree online and write brief biographies of the family members you know/knew. Something your family will appreciate in the future. No physical energy required. Your deep distant ancestors survived in hotter (and bitterly cold) climates without the amenities we enjoy today.
Finally, it’s a shame your holiday hasn’t turned out as you hoped, but that’s life and it’s fortunate you aren’t on Rhodes.

You are getting a lot of stick, OP, but I get it. We haven’t bought a holiday home for this reason, I get bored.

We’re currently in the Swiss alps and the weather is amazing. We took the kids on a long cycle today and have spent previous days hiking, temps in the mid 20s. These days, we save the med for May and October half term holidays and tend to go to the mountains or Scandinavia or further afield to the southern hemisphere in July/August. Have you ever considered selling the Spanish property and buying something in an area where the weather won’t boil you alive in the summers?

Are you there for the whole summer holiday @olympicsrock ?

OP I hear you. Menopause makes me hot in a way I never was before. Like I’m being boiled from the inside.

You’re not being unreasonable to find the heat uncomfortable and oppressive.
Most folk who live in hot countries do what they can to avoid the heat when it is severe, going on vacation to somewhere cooler if they can afford it, eating and socialising in air con spaces, adjusting schedule so they’re inside and preferably napping during the worst of the daytime heat. When it is still hot at night, then people eat inside.
And wallowing for hours in a too-warm pool is not fun, sea swimming risks getting too much sun and you can still overheat.

Now, climate breakdown means that many people need to rethink the “escape to the sun” in southern Europe mentality. I’d sell the place you’re in while you still can.

What am I doing for my summer holiday? I’m visiting family & staying in an Air BnB in Norwich. I’m really looking forward to walking in the rain and wearing cosy clothes and fluffy socks inside. Outside, here, the “feels like” temperature is 40.5c. We are inside all day, will emerge to swim in the overly warm pool at 5.30pm, as the mosquitoes descend.