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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hot and bored on holiday

386 replies

olympicsrock · 24/07/2023 13:09

So I’m definitely being a bit unreasonable . We are lucky enough to have a holiday house in Spain- sports resort . Golf/ cycling max DH loves it. We have a pool and aircon.

I’m perimenopausal with heat intolerance and overweight. We’ve been here 5 days now. I’ve read 3 books , bored of lying on a sun bed reading. It’s too hot to eat out in the evening . Even DH and the kids were hot and sticky in the evening at a restaurant. After an hour we were all keen to come home.

It’s too hot to go anywhere and do anything. The kids are happy in the pool.
I’m too old to be in a nightclub, I don’t want to watch sport or Jeremy Fucking Clarkson …

I hate cards and board games. Might have to resort to a jigsaw….

So i’m grumpy and drinking cold rose wine on the patio…… Cheer me up mumsnet please !

OP posts:
Mirabai · 24/07/2023 17:12

You have all this time to read and read while basking in the heat - that’s my dream! You just need some cracking books:

  • Kiss Myself Goodbye Ferdinand Mount
  • Wavewalker Suzanne Heywood
  • A Normal Family Christa Bilton
  • The House of Glass Hadley Freeman
  • The Glass Castle Jeanette Walls
  • Slipstream, a memoir Elizabeth Jane Howard
adriftabroad · 24/07/2023 17:10

I live in Spain.

It is disgusting weather at the moment.
You cannot do anything
Eating makes me feel sick
It does NOT get cooler at night
You would be mad to even approach the beach
The pools are indeed like a warm bath.

About to hit 43 at 7pm. Just getting hotter as the day goes on. 70 percent humidity. It is actually dangerous.

OP you have my sympathy. At least you have aircon though. Tomorrow should be cooler x

Original poster
olympicsrock · 24/07/2023 17:09

We don’t own a pool by the way just have access to one like most other people on holiday.

I hate scrabble - otherwise Wales sounds nice 🤣

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 24/07/2023 17:08

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Keykaty · 24/07/2023 17:07

OP I think a trip on the Canal du Midi might suit you very well. Start in Carcassonne and go all the way to Narbonne, Stopping along the way at some charming towns. It is hot for sure, but the tree lined banks of the canal make it just beautiful and bearable. Can be cyled (flat), or done by boat.

letthemalldoone · 24/07/2023 17:02

Lorrries · 24/07/2023 15:11

So you fly out to a (obviously completely unnecessary) second home multiple times a year? And have a pool and aircon? You're certainly doing way more than your share of the heavy lifting in causing global warming, aren't you? You'll certainly get no sympathy from me if/when your second home burns down.

That is a truly horrible thing to say to anyone. Speaks volumes about the type of person you must be...

Dixiechickonhols · 24/07/2023 17:02

Screamingabdabz · 24/07/2023 16:50

Yes this. The idea of sitting in a villa with the kids while my DH fucks off golfing and cycling? Fuck that. What selfish boring bastard does that anyway? The heat is the least of your problems imo. Get a life of your own instead of being a handmaid sport widow to some boorish wannabe alpha.

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I agree but it seems common in certain demographics.
Basically it’s husband doing his hobby and everyone else having to fit in around it.
If she’d posted she was fed up as he’d been at golf or cycling for hours a day she’d have got a lot more sympathy. That’s not a family holiday in my book.
The kids sound fairly young if they need supervision in pool so it’s not a break for Op.

Prinzesa · 24/07/2023 16:59

lose the weight! cos all skinny people are always cold obviously... 🙄 great advice here as always

FelicityFlops · 24/07/2023 16:57

Lose the weight?
Come with me to do Ayurveda in Sri Lanka, it is "only" 29°c (at my house I have documented evidence of 43°c and 47°c - I live in Europe, but not in the south) BUT incredibly high humidity.

FoodieToo · 24/07/2023 16:51

Just back from an amazing 2 weeks in Crete and the relief to be back in rainy Dublin is huge !!!
We had a great holiday - half all inclusive and half villa . However, very confined by the heat .
I love to see things and it was hard in 37/38 degrees. Has made me wonder about travelling in July /August again .

Screamingabdabz · 24/07/2023 16:50

ivycastle · 24/07/2023 15:21

It seems like the real issue is that your DH is completely dominating the decision about what you do and where you go on holiday, and you don't even like it.

Why do you let him do that?

Show quote history

Yes this. The idea of sitting in a villa with the kids while my DH fucks off golfing and cycling? Fuck that. What selfish boring bastard does that anyway? The heat is the least of your problems imo. Get a life of your own instead of being a handmaid sport widow to some boorish wannabe alpha.

SequentialAnalyst · 24/07/2023 16:49

OP, I feel your pain. It took me far to long to stand up for myself, it was too late to save the marriage by then anyway, so I divorced him.

zerofuchsgivenTBH · 24/07/2023 16:48

I know of a family who went to greece a couple of summers ago. Hotter than Hades and one of teens was so miserable and grumpy he got packed off home early. Being hot and unable to cool down is torture and it's only going to get worse in Europe, which is way behind when it comes to air-con (and possibly solar powered homes) but a few summers like this and it will start to catch up.

ILoveMontyDon · 24/07/2023 16:47

The thread that proves that money does not necessarily bring happiness.

Somethingsnappy · 24/07/2023 16:44

lechatnoir · 24/07/2023 16:28

I'd be showing him your dream holiday list and then leaving a few days early (ALONE) so he can enjoy some quality time with the DC.

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Yup! Even better.

Prinzesa · 24/07/2023 16:40

@shropshirewitch 🙄

shropshirewitch · 24/07/2023 16:37

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CalmConfident · 24/07/2023 16:34

A little bit of solidarity here…I’m in Spain too, it’s hot and I’ve read 6 books 😂 Bar with AC plus a pool table is the answer with teenagers !

Jenasaurus · 24/07/2023 16:34

Could you bring along a friend or relative next time you visit who shares your interests so you can do day trips or spend time at night by the pool or sitting in an outside bar by the beach sipping cocktails. It sounds like you miss adult company to be honest.

lechatnoir · 24/07/2023 16:28

Somethingsnappy · 24/07/2023 16:12

Op, you have a dh problem, not a holiday house in the heat problem.

Here is what you must do.... Step 1: Grab paper and a pen, have another glass of wine, and write a detailed plan of what your ideal holiday would look like.

Step 2: Show it to dh and inform him that this is what you will be doing next year.

Hope this solves the problem!

P. S. I would hate your current holiday too.

I'd be showing him your dream holiday list and then leaving a few days early (ALONE) so he can enjoy some quality time with the DC.

pumpkintits · 24/07/2023 16:27

I've always wanted to go to Wales, I'll pack my bags. Hope you enjoy a good game of Scrabble 😁

marshmallowfinder · 24/07/2023 16:26

I'd hate it! Heat..aaargh. I'd just stuff myself with yummy food and swim a bit.

Demolishthecreamcake · 24/07/2023 16:26

limitedperiodonly · 24/07/2023 16:24

Good point

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It's hugely tone deaf though!

limitedperiodonly · 24/07/2023 16:24

Dixiechickonhols · 24/07/2023 16:11

It sounds like you’re lonely not bored Op. He’s out for hours at golf, cycling, won’t sit outside and chat in the evening.
Holidays often magnify things. Divorce enquiries go up after Christmas and summer hols.
At home you probably both have a busy life. It’s a lot more obvious when you are away how little time he’s wanting to spend with you.
Just because it looks marvellous - isn’t Op lucky she’s in a nice house with a pool in Spain - doesn’t mean you are spoiled or ungrateful if you say actually it’s not working for me anymore.

Good point

YukoandHiro · 24/07/2023 16:22

You have so two things that I'd love right now:

  • the ability to take DC abroad (medical conditions make it hard for us)
  • DC old enough that you can read a book at all, let alone 3 in a few days
So struggling to get beyond that. I Looooong for the chance to be bored again (DC age 5 and under)