Struggling with DIL

I would like further clarification on why it’s only your DILs fault that neither her or your son called your husband to thank him for the gift? Surely your son should have been the one to thank your husband for his thoughtful gift??? Why are your ignoring your sons behaviour in this situation?

Oh blimey Olive, coming from you that's really..... something .

Ok, I don't know where the quote of Anklespraying saying that she can't be bothered listening to other peoples health problems went but that was what I was referring to in my previous post.

are you okay mate? You’ve picked fights with multiple people on this thread. Go outside and get some fresh air maybe, take a screen break.

to answer you, the DIL is probs blanking the OP because she sounds like a PITA, and Ofc she can respond to people but the way she’s replying just makes her sound more and more dickish - hope this helps 🫶

Omg 😂😂😂the cheek of you @Anklespraying. That is sooooo hypocritical. You've made a complete fool of yourself on this thread.

OP, have you ever thought about how the small age difference between you and your DIL might be affecting your relationship? That leapt out to me, and it looks like it did to a lot of other posters here.
It puts you as peers rather than a generation apart and that's always going to make it a trickier relationship to negotiate. It's a different situation but my dad had a girlfriend who was a similar age difference to me and had it progressed I could never have seen her remotely in a step mum role. Things like the panto trip or the house deposit would feel quite different to me coming from ILs who were more like my parents age than my age.

What about the DIL blanking her? Would you continue to try with someone who flat out blanked you in your own house? I certainly wouldn't. So what if she called someone a 12 year old. That poster was being extremely immature. Is OP not allowed to answer people back?

Not reaching, suggesting. There's a difference.

OK, so you were thanked for the stool. Yes, when they'd opened it, it would have been nice for your son (or just one of them, your son just as capable) to have made a comment about the stool. With such a young baby maybe they don't understand yet how useful this might be when he is a toddler?

I wouldn't want my ILs giving me money for a house deposit. It undermines my sense of accomplishment as an adult who takes pride in achieving that sort of thing myself.

Your pantomime story reminded me of the time my mother booked tickets to a show when I just had a newborn, in another city, and expected us to be overjoyed. I just didn't go (but wouldn't have sat on my phone if I had gone).

DIL's behaviour might be a little unconventional at times. Maybe this is how she copes with her mental health condition?

You've also go a 39 year old woman here who isn't that much younger than you. She probably sees you as peers rather than parent figures. A 39 year old is also going to be quite different from if your son had married a younger, less set in her ways and life, woman.

Just some things to think about.

Talk about reaching😂😂"maybe this, maybe that.

But that's what you've done by withdrawing the money offer. It's a shame the situation has come to this and you couldn't have found a way through with your DIL. Have you had any more reaction since the phone call with your DS?

@nonmerci99 ah it was you who I called out for making stuff up and it's you who called me "unhinged". Got it. Is everyone who calls out your lies unhinged?

Really😂? Please quote any of my posts which are "unhinged". Go on...No doubt your response will be " I don't owe you anything", same response as your friend upthread who is also fond of making stuff up and doesn't like it being pointed out to her.

😂 Says the person who has started a whole thread to score a win against her DIL!

She doesn't want you to listen to her health issues does she. Your son told you that this morning.

They both think it's non of your business.

You however, tell people she's diagnosed with a serious mental health condition and then whine about about tiny inconsequential incidents for sympathy.

Oh I agree with your last two points. If my DP thanked his mum for giving our DD a gift, she wouldn't expect me to say thank you as well and certainly wouldn't hold it against me and use it to precipitate a massive falling out.

Exactly as I thought. You can't. "Continue to attack me". Grow up. If you can't cope with someone calling you out when you haven't bothered to even read all the OPs comments then you make a comment that is untrue, then cry victim and "I'm being attacked"...it's not me who's pathetic. The irony.

Because she sounds like a misogynistic woman who can’t respond appropriately to anyone who has a different POV (literally has called someone a 12 year old). She just sounds bitter and antiquated. A lot of her issues are just silly - the tea thing, why didn’t she ask before making it if it’s such a big deal? The present thing, her son could’ve sent a thank you message why is she more focused on the partner? It’s all very silly and I imagine very tiring in real life 🥱

Jesus. Showing your true colours now.

Don't worry about me OP, I haven't just told my son to get lost over a cup of tea!

You lose your argument when you have to trawl old posts to bolster it.