AIBU to find it sad that staring at our phones has become the default human activity?

Back in the 1980's I remember lunchtime at work we would sit in the staff room munching on our sandwiches whilst generally chatting as a group. Now I sit in a staff room amongst my colleagues during my break, in silence as we all stare at our mobiles, I miss the old days.

Also, total bollocks. A local school has a similar sign. I don't get it. Yes, parents might well stand around on their phones while waiting for their DC to com outside, but I've never seen them still standing with their phones while the DC are being handed over.

Ditto the accusations of "doom scrolling". What even is that? My sister reads on her kindle app a lot. I think she's crazy because it can't be good for her eyes, but she barely uses social media so when she's on her phone she's reading or checking her email because she has a very busy, high profile job and checking her email for urgent items is one of the things that allows her to slip out and do the school run rather than delegating it to someone else. Or she's responding to the 50000 WhatsApp messages that a busy woman, with an active social life, three kids (at two schools) needs to do.

This is awful! Thankfully I'm not that bad ☹️

This is sad 😔

I don't do this, but then I have had a mobile 'phone since 1996, way before smart 'phones, so my 'phone is just that. A telephone. A means for people to get hold of me or for me to get hold of them.
However, I do agree with the OP and not just in an outdoor seated way, the number of times I have to take evasive action when walking around town, because people are engrossed in their 'phones, beggars belief.

As a disabled person with limited pocket and bag / carrying things ability, being able to condense my banking, comms, reading books, newspapers, magazines, music and entertainment and so on into just my phone, kindle and ipod means life is much easier and more accessible for me. Reasonable adjustments made through modern technology.

I know several people who use reading apps on their phones and whose music is also on their phones, so they don't even need the kindle and ipod.

It's no different to sitting at the park reading a newspaper or magazine.

My child writes creative fiction stories on his. He also draws and designs comics on there.

Before having a phone, he carted loads of pens and pads and other equipment everywhere which was a struggle.

He uses those at home or if we are going to specific places but otherwise he can use his phone.

It's sad if people ignore each other to use their devices, but it's otherwise a wonderful way to manage hobbies and admin.

Those comparing books and phones have no concept of the addictive quality of phones. There is absolutely no comparison - it’s utterly disingenuous to suggest one.

I have spent so much time watching informative videos on YouTube on various crafts, hobbies and travel items I never have the time to do any of them.

Yes it's dreadful. I'm getting worse and worse for it.

Does anyone know how to limit time on certain websites using Android? I can limit my use of Chrome but sometimes I get drawn into particular websites and I'm driving myself nuts.

I've never been addicted to anything in my life but I hold my hands up and admit I struggle with my phone at the moment

I'm job hunting too and as it's all online - I rarely put my phone down. Trying to only look for jobs between 9am - Midday is not working but I am trying! I could do with limiting the job hunting websites to 3 hours a day.

I use it to escape. I know I do. When I'm overwhelmed, when I'm tired and need to do dull things like cooking, or when I'm just trying to keep going until I can crash I scroll my phone. I know I'm addicted. I don't know how to cope without it. I used to read books for the same reason, but I'm too tired to even read these days.

It's when people are walking along crowded streets totally oblivious that they're about to walk into someone because they're obsessed with their phone - that's what really annoys me. I spend a lot of time trying to avoid these zombies, sometimes I wonder why they even bother going out -they don't see anything.

@SpanadorFanador

i just finished Stolen Focus (managed to read an actual book for once), it is unnerving. Some of the cleverest people on the planet dedicated to finding wants to keep our eyeballs on the screen for as long as possible so that the big tech companies can rake in the maximum advertising revenue. That’s it, there’s nothing noble about it.

but here I am back on my phone. It’s hot, I’m tired, I can pass the time looking at something semi interesting that doesn’t require any engagement - unlike a book or a person.

So???
It has the exact same effect. It distracts you from the outside world
Is that not what the OP said
All spent much more time looking down at their phones than looking at the beautiful gardens or interacting.

@Lemoncurdslice I agree the brain engages differently. If anything you get more 'lost' in a book.

I don't do either, I like to watch the world pass by but just seem to think that phones get villainised while books get romaticised
magazines and papers have also always been used for something to do.

I've just started to get updates on my phone about how long I've been on various apps and online. That was a shock. 5 hours one day. It made me put my phone down and search for something else to do. I work and have a young family. I didnt know I had 5 spare hours. I would never scroll through my phone with company or sitting down to a meal with others. But I am addicted to it and my boredom threshold is much lower. I'm actively trying to use it less now.

I don't think many people randomly flick through a book, read a couple of pages, drop it down, then pick up another book and repeat the process.

Most people don't read on their phones. They doom scroll.

I feel the same way, although I'm as much an offender as anyone else. I try to make sure there's some time when I don't have my phone to hand to be 100% available to my child every day. I don't like the fact that I have to think about that and make plans to do it.

Last year, on holiday, I lost my charger so I didn't have my phone for the week. It was actually great and I managed just fine. Unfortunately, I learned no lessons and created no new habits when I got back.

Yes

We must have got so much done

I have been trying so hard to stop just the aimless scrolling. I have been putting my phone upstairs and having my apple watch on so if any urgent messages or phone calls come through I can see them, but I can not just scroll none stop. Also trying to read more as it is completely different than staring at a phone I find.

The other day I was remembering when I use to get up (before the kids) and have my morning cup of Tea and just sit there… no phone, no social media, no distractions whatsoever…

These days the first thing I reach for whilst drinking my tea is my phone!

I think there is a difference reading a book on a phone/ tablet than aimlessly scrolling which is what I do. My attention span is shocking now and I need to stop and read more books.

It really depends on what's on the phone!

Before phones, I'd sit in cafes or on benches/walls etc., probably reading a book or newspaper, and glance around to look at wildlife, scenery, etc.

Now, I do the same, but read a book or read the news on a phone, still glancing around occasionally to look at wildlife, scenery, etc.

Not sure what the difference is really?

When I'm out with friends/family, we only occasionally look at our phones when they ping or when we want to look up something - we certainly don't just sit there in silence all doing our own things on our phones.

So I think it's more a personal issue really - some people are glued to them and can't do anything else other than obsess about social media, but I do think most people use them as a tool and do useful things with them, in between "normal" things like chatting etc.

YANBU.

We were out for dinner last week and there was a family at the next table. Parents and two mid 20s kids. Dad was watching football with his earphones in, the son was watching someone playing a video game on YouTube. Daughter was scrolling on I assume Instagram or TikTok. The mum was sitting looking bored out of her mind, nobody talking to each other. It was mind boggling to see.

It depends.
If I'm in a cafe on my own then I'd read a book or read on my kindle or my Kindle app, or I might sort the shopping out or browse social media aimlessly. I'm not convinced I'm any better for reading a book Vs taking 10 minutes out my day to scroll crap.

If people have gone to a cafe with other people then I find the phones out thing rude.

Pre phones, if I went out to the park at lunch time, I didn't sit there looking at people, I had a book or a newspaper or a magazine. Now, I might have my kindle, or I might have my phone and scroll through SM or look at a news website.

Many of the people around me would be doing the same, or perhaps dozing or chatting with friends or listening to music.

So I can't get that worked up about this. A phone is just another way to do these things that we were all doing before.

I DO worry sometimes that it's too easy for my children to watch short you tube videos than preservere with longer, more complex stories in actual books. But I don't blame the phones for that in itself and I've implemented rules to help them get better at, and therefore enjoy more, reading.

I feel completely different when I’m reading a book rather than on my phone, it engages my brain in a very different way.