AIBU to find it sad that staring at our phones has become the default human activity?

Yes some people are like Zombies.
Dosent it looks awful when a family is all round the dinner table on phones.

I know this thread is old but I wanted to start one similar so thought I’d just add to this one in hopes people start commenting again.

I was on holiday a few weeks ago and aside from when showering and dressing, I spent the entire time scrolling on my phone, alternating between Instagram, Mumsnet and a few other sites. This included when sitting down to eat.

I had such good intentions with my notepad and pen to ‘get my life in order’, and my Kindle ready to read all the books I hadn’t got round to at home (because scrolling has replaced reading) - I didn’t open the Kindle once 🙁.

I promised myself each day ‘tomorrow I’ll read’ but towards the end of the holiday I thought ‘f*ck it, you’ve already wasted the holiday, might as well just scroll for the rest of it’.

I genuinely don’t know what to do because I am addicted. I spent £2k to just scroll on my phone in another country.

Thing is, I'd rather look at my phone than engage in small talk with strangers.

Dont disagree with the principal.though.

But they're not the same. With a book you're engaging actively, reading, inferring stuff, imagining the characters, focusing on one thing for a long period of time. With a phone you're scrolling mindlessly...

I've knackered my neck and thumbs from phone scrolling. Its costing me a fortune in chiropractor sessions to try and fix my neck and shoulder pain.

Nice to have a break

I'm sure my mum would take a book to read as did I or chat to other parents

Best thing about my workplace is that phones are prohibited!

You are searched daily in case you forget.

People can interact properly, it's nice!

YANBU to be unhappy with your own phone use if you feel it's becoming a problem for you and making you miserable, or if phone use in your household in general is affecting your family life.

But YABU to be judging other people for using their phones in whatever way they choose. I think there's a tendency to sneer about 'mindless scrolling' and so on, and I do get that - but remember that a phone fulfils a lot of functions that nobody would have a problem with if it wasn't a phone that was performing them.

For example, if you were on holiday and you saw someone sitting at a cafe table writing a postcard to their parents, you wouldn't think that was a problem. But the same person sitting at the same table sending a WhatsApp message and a holiday photo to the family WhatsApp is looked upon as some sort of mindless tech addict 'staring at a phone' and 'not living in the moment'. If someone reads a newspaper or a book while their kids are at the playground, that's them having a moment of respite. But if they're reading the same newspaper online with their subscription, or reading a book via the Kindle app, they're accused of gawping at a phone instead of engaging with their kids. There are loads of other examples.

So while I do absolutely get what you're saying, and for some people, phone use probably is wrecking their lives, I think it's worth remembering that most people are honestly just using their phones to do the same things that they did without them really.

YANBU. I was addicted and ignoring my children.

I have got rid of mine, I have a very basic one for texts and calls (and there's practically no signal in my village, even better).

Noticed when I took DC to their swimming lesson last week - 80% of the parents in the viewing gallery were looking at their phones instead of their children.

This generation of kids are having a very different experience than mine did. Awful.

There is a 12 step fellowship for screen addiction if anyone is struggling. (Free and totally run by volunteers)

https://internetaddictsanonymous.org/

Actually I prefer to order by app in restaurants. I like seeing the various different options and alternatives, such as swapping one side for another, etc. They're usually more options/flexibility than paper menus. And I can sit and order straight away instead of having to try to catch a waiter/ress passing by. When it comes to options, I far prefer having time to think rather than have the waiter/ress quickly saying a list, me having to ask them to repeat, then them stood sighing whilst trying to make up my mind.

In some restaurants with decent ordering systems, you can virtually make up your own meal by picking different mains/sides/sauces etc through the options, and those that do steaks/grills etc often have the option for you to enter how you want them cooked.

I also have hearing impairment which means I have to constant ask them repeat what they're saying, especially in noisy environments like a busy restaurant, so without an app, I'd be more likely just to select a menu option and not tailor it at all, just to avoid the time/embarrassment of constantly asking them to repeat themselves going through lists of options, etc.

Given the option, I'll order online any day!

Today, even. What conversation? In my local, you order and pay by QR code and bank card.
Bring back human interaction!

I’ve joked to DH that, one day, we’ll be going into a restaurant and conduct the whole conversation with the waiter on our phones.

I remember in 2011-2013 sitting in a low wall cube farm at work - about 8 of us sat there and there was one woman who had to walk past us to get from her work space in another area to the restroom near us. She always had her head looking down at her phone walking back and forth and it was so weird to see. She never looked up. It was not normal then.

We talked about it, trying to figure out her motive. Can she not walk to the restroom without looking at her phone? Is she insecure walking to the restroom? Does she get motion sickness reading words while walking? Is she not allowed to look at her phone at her desk and this is her only chance? Is she trying to avoid being forced into a random conversation?

We were genuinely confused at what she was doing. Laughable now, of course.

Smartphones are very addictive, but using one to the exclusion of all else is still a conscious decision at the end of the day. All the people saying "I'm hopelessly addicted and I can't stop" like it's some kind of excuse; you absolutely can stop - you just don't want to.

I use my phone a fair bit (it's telling me I have an average of 3 hours screen time a day) to pass time when waiting for other things to happen, but I always try to do productive things with it like read books/journals/articles, learn a language on Duolingo or watch educational YouTube videos rather than just spending time doom scrolling through banal shit on social media. Their algorithms are designed solely to keep you scrolling and scrolling and scrolling - breaking the cycle is something you have to make a real effort to do.

Like passing notes in class? 😂

Lots of people text each other about the people around them.

DD and I text each other stuff that we don't want strangers to overhear

Have you read the OP's OP?

Yep. The one where she’s saying she’s done the same but is now trying to change because, unlike others, she’s so much better, and has realised the error of her ways. She’s now staring at others staring at their phone. And writing about it on mumsnet, probably using her phone. She’s a changed woman, I tell you. 😂

What I find particularly awful is people out walking with their babies/children, or even their dog, and totally ignoring them while they stare at their phone.

Have you read the OP's OP?

Whereas OP stares at the people staring at their phones and judging them, which is obviously a much more worthwhile way to pass time. 😅