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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask what's rudest/most bizarre wedding behaviour you've known of?

602 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 07/07/2023 19:25

Lighthearted thread, inspired by the mention of wedding politics on another thread...just interested to know if anyone out there has experienced/known of any weddings/wedding related behaviour more bizarre/rude than the one I know of. Wedding guest behaviour, bride/groom behaviour and weddings that were just bizarre in general all welcome...

So, I'll start:
Couple getting married were on a very low budget (so much so that their centrepiece wedding cake was actually just cardboard with icing and decorations over it) but they still wanted a 'nice/fancy' wedding with sit down meal and servers...so they hired a town hall for an 'afternoon tea' luncheon type thing just after the wedding, with only close friends and family invited. They then asked other, less close, friends to 'have the privilege' of serving them at this 'high tea' event, free of charge, as a favour, instead of an invite to the wedding (not even the evening party that came later).
It was actually phrased as 'would you like to have the privilege of serving us at our wedding?' and people who were asked were very much expected to see it as an honour. Apparently it's somewhat of the 'done thing' in their circle.

These friends/servers were given waiter/waitress uniforms to wear. Just another reminder- they were NOT being paid. One of the people asked to do it was a friend of mine. She actually thought she was quite close to the family, had known them years and been round for dinner and things like that, but realised they obviously didn't see her that way when instead of a proper invite to the wedding she was asked to do this.

She said that she accidentally split tea whilst pouring it out for someone at this 'luncheon' (I mean its not like she was a professional server!) and the bride's father snapped at her. Everyone at the table treated her exactly like a professional server, not making wye contact, not even thanking her, barking orders at her etc, even though she had known all of them for years and spent time at their house for gatherings...all the servers were 'thanked' a few weeks after the wedding with a box of basic Cadbury chocolates, the type that cost about £5 from Tesco. These boxes of chocolates were elaborately wrapped up and sent with thank you cards. Once opening the box, my friend realised they were all white...looked at the sell by date and they were years out!! 😂

Now, it wasn't really anything to me because I wasn't close to couple (knew them, had mutual friends but never expected to be invited in any capacity) so didn't affect me at all, but I think the whole thing was completely bizarre and such rude and entitled behaviour towards people who were supposed to be their friends. Apparently being asked to dress up in a waitor outfit and take orders/serve people is an immense honour. I didn't, and still don't, have words 😂

Anyone else got anything to top this?

OP posts:
Cherrytreee · 07/07/2023 19:41

Crikey, nothing to top that but I did have a friend who arranged herself a massive hen do extravaganza and then offered payment plans to repay her. It cost £1500! For a hen party! Not even abroad!

AlwaysTheSupplierNeverTheBride · 07/07/2023 19:35

I'm a wedding industry supplier and even I've never seen that level of nonsense Shock

I had two this year that were awful though.

One asked for a quote but didn't specify the service. I quoted her for the standard service we offer, explicitly stating what was included, which she accepted. Turned out she had actually wanted an entirely different service which we didn't offer and hadn't for quite some time, and threatened to post "honest" reviews across the internet if I didn't give her her deposit back.

The other had booked in Jan 2020 for 2021. Due to COVID I let her postpone to 2023, still paying 2021 prices (I didn't see huge inflation coming!). It got to a few weeks before the wedding and I email her to firm up the details and take the balance of payment. Silence. Email again. Silence. Emailed the venue out of desperation and found out she'd cancelled her wedding months prior and hadn't bothered to tell me. I ended up twiddling my thumbs on a prime Saturday in June - she lost her deposit but it was only 20% so lost quite a bit of money.