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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how much did you ‘try’ to conceive

106 replies

Ooophelia · 06/07/2023 21:24

Having decided we want to have a baby and after six months or so of not much happening, I’ve decided to take action and started tracking my cycles properly, using OPKs and temping.

Although DH is on board with this he seems pretty surprised how planned/unromantic it all is. I’ve since spent a bit of time educating him on how womens cycles work and how small the fertile window actually is and it feels like the idea of spontaneously dtd and then getting pregnant is quite far from reality! Just logistically since we started cycle tracking it’s required a bit of planning to make sure we’re in the same place at the right time. It’s got us wondering for how many couples does it just happen, and for how many does ttc require a bit more planning?

OP posts:
hiccup345 · 06/07/2023 22:39

3 months with DS1. 4 months with DS2. Not really tracking but made sure we DTD around ovulation time. We're very fortunate.

TenoringBehind · 06/07/2023 22:35

8 years for dc1. 2 years of that was ovulation sticks, obsessing over temperatures, etc. Was just about to start IVF when I got pregnant,

dc2 conceived first month of trying
also 1 miscarriage after that when I was making no effort to conceive

MeowOnceForOffended · 06/07/2023 22:35

@SquashPenguin Flowers

SquashPenguin · 06/07/2023 22:23

5.5 years, 4 ivf cycles and no baby. I guess I’m one of the unlucky ones.

Motherofkittens28 · 06/07/2023 22:22

2 years, 2 failed ivf rounds and was told I'd never conceive with my own eggs because of my age. Naturally pregnant with my DS 3 months later while we were taking a break from ivf

Mrsmch123 · 06/07/2023 22:16

Took us 5 long years and an ivf round. Turns out my oh has a low sperm count.

Sotiredmjmmy · 06/07/2023 22:13

Same as others have posted, we were advised by consultants to ditch the tracking and go for it every other day - tried many things and that worked, and both times conceived no where near where in my cycle I would have expected and I know many others it’s been the same for.

HeadNorth · 06/07/2023 22:06

I’m one of the ones it just happened for. We were cavalier with contraception for our first, planned the second, for the third see the first. I’ve never tried to get pregnant, just not tried hard enough not to.

millymollymoomoo · 06/07/2023 22:05

The best thing to do is just have sex every other day, that way you catch ovulation without having to plan and track

if after a year of this week help
it will become a chore if the sole focus becomes conception rather than just sex

HiCandles · 06/07/2023 22:03

5 months first time, in the first 4 we just had sex every few days as usual, no OPK though I was aware of the signs of ovulation I was having. Then I got serious and insisted on every day sex from the day my period stopped to almost when I thought the next was due to be sure we'd not miss ovulation and it worked. DH a little unsure about the planned lack of romanticness but went along with it as was starting to get concerned about the lack of positive result so far.
Second time 1 month with every day sex every day of the month possible and again it worked.

hellywelly3 · 06/07/2023 22:03

Didn’t look into cycles too much just had lots more sex

greendress789 · 06/07/2023 21:56

Two and a half years plus a failed IVF cycle for DC1.

2nd DC - nearly 7 years and still counting. 8 failed IVF transfers

Tr1skel1on · 06/07/2023 21:55

Oh wow! I was told I had pcos so I might as well come off birth control, I'd never conceive naturally. I had 2 kids 16mo apart!!!!

OrwellianTimes · 06/07/2023 21:54

3 months both times.

meddysam · 06/07/2023 21:53

I did get told off for not taking folic acid but obviously I didn't expect it to happen straightaway.

laroper · 06/07/2023 21:53

DC1 was unplanned.

DC2 we tried using OPKs and various other tracking and strategies, for 15 months, and no result Stopped all the tracking and finally got pregnant after 18m total.

DC3 we did tracking but just couldn't manage to always time it right with a toddler waking etc. Wasn't really trying much by the end, it took 8m.

I found it better if I was tracking but not keeping DH informed.

Gingerlygreen · 06/07/2023 21:52

Dd1 took 3 years, at first we were having sex daily for a few months then it waned a bit, I half heartedly worked out when I should be ovulating but didn't test.

I thought it just wasn't going to happen for us and decided to lose weight, I did the Cambridge diet and lost 4 stones in just over 3 months and was pregnant the month after. I'm not sure if it was coincidental or the weight loss but I know we only had sex once that month.

With dd2 I feel pregnant the first month.

meddysam · 06/07/2023 21:52

Didn't try at all but my cycle is like clockwork. Just had sex around ovulation & it worked first time.

Original poster
Ooophelia · 06/07/2023 21:52

I have stopped telling DH when it’s the right time but had a delivery of OPKs today so he knows I’m still doing it. Although I have a period each month my cycle seems to vary from 26 - 34 days, so it’s helpful to know the best time especially as DH or I sometimes work away from each other.

OP posts:
Glenthebattleostrich · 06/07/2023 21:49

Stopped taking the pill in May, early miscarriage in July, positive test start of September for first. No 2 has just not happened, no real reason why just no baby after 10 years before we've decided we are to old and gone back to using contraception.

abitofbother · 06/07/2023 21:49

U could just download the flo app or similar, where u put in your period dates and it works out ur ovulation times and best days to have sex. U don't need to involve partner too much just make sure he's around to have sex in the times u need him.

YukoandHiro · 06/07/2023 21:49

Peakypolly · 06/07/2023 21:37

2 happy accidents- using condoms but probably not as scrupulously as we should have. Our one planned pregnancy took until the 4th months of unprotected sex but no tracking of fertility windows etc.

Is this a weird euphemism for not using condoms...?

Emmamoo89 · 06/07/2023 21:48

Took 3 months first time. Second time just had sex the once in the whole month. 5 miscarriages in between

nancy2022 · 06/07/2023 21:48

Both times happened straight away. DH is military and away all week so I'm really glad as he went away for 6 months shortly after.

DustyLee123 · 06/07/2023 21:47

I didn’t tell DH when I was fertile, I just made sure we did it at the right time. If he was going to be working away I’d make sure we got one in just before he went away.
Took me 9 months for the first, and nearly 2 years for the second.