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AIBU?

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To wonder why women only want equality and not revenge?

314 replies

Kingcatnight · 04/07/2023 19:09

Admittedly at the end of my tether with men at the moment so possibly BU but honestly right now I'm really struggling to understand what the majority of men appear to have to offer the world that in any way compares to or competes with the (IMO generally superior) social graces, intellectual power, emotional maturity, problem-solving skills, creativity and overall increased pleasantness of women.

I've spent the past week on the road visiting clients, most of whom are white middle class men in their 50's, and having to feign amusement at various childish jokes involving innuendo (not aimed at me, thankfully) and basic, rudimentary word-play. Before anyone suggests it, these clients bring a lot of money into the business I work for so a frosty response or "calling them out on it" would be ill-advised and incredibly damaging to my employer (and me!) but ye gods I'm sick of the self-satisfied look on their smug faces while they wait expectantly for their pathetic jokes to land and for me to respond.

Spent an hour's train ride today sitting in a packed carriage opposite a man who snorted and cleared his sinuses the entire journey, forcing everyone around him to listen to the sound of the snot going down the back of his throat, all whilst reading the absolutely sickening news that the Taliban are further restricting the rights of women in Afghanistan by closing all hair salons. Hair salons which were already only operating after having spray-painted out any pictures showing female faces on their signage. Women in this country are literally no longer allowed a face, let alone access to basic care, education etc.

And at the other far more superficial end of the scale the past few men I've dated, having gone to great lengths to try and vet them carefully beforehand, have turned out to be self-absorbed, selfish lovers who have clearly always relied on the woman's verbal agility and efforts to carry the entire conversation, and who actually have no interest in women beyond having a captive audience for their own accomplishments.

Weekly I hear of various other male relatives, or husbands/partners of friends and colleagues who generally don't pull their weight and give themselves a massive pat on the back for simply being half-competent at their job whilst contributing very little to home life, while their female counterpart is expected to excel as an employee, mother, partner, sister, daughter, friend, neighbour etc.

I say this as someone who has a very generous, caring father, generally decent male siblings etc, so I am aware "not all men", but I genuinely look around me in amazement at the number of smart, warm, dynamic and impressive women in my life who vastly outweigh the equivalent men and on days like today I can't help but think men don't realise how lucky they are that women are still only striving for equality and haven't taken it upon ourselves to overthrow them entirely...

OP posts:
Brefugee · 05/07/2023 19:29

I actually don't care for huge sweeping generalisations (i'm not NAMALT at all, as a class men do loads of violence etc) and i deffo don't need to have a whole thread of dissing men

But since the entire internet seems to have a billion and a half such conversations about women, i wonder why there is so much "oh you MEAN MEAN girls!"

Meerkatdog · 05/07/2023 19:26

Just wondering what talk guideline was itsdecisiontimeisitnot breaking? Is it against the rules to bring up previous posts? I thought it was very harsh but didn't realise it was against the rules.

goldensky · 05/07/2023 19:15

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Jeez you are being well out of order. What's wrong with you? Leave her alone. Really creepy behaviour.

bozzabollix · 05/07/2023 19:11

YANBU but so many women put up with incredibly low standards. These twatty men get away with it and those tolerant women will be reading this thinking about how great they are that they aren’t being difficult too.

It should be that if a bloke is a misogynist, manipulative, abusive piece of shit that no woman goes near him.

Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 19:03

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Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 19:02

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YouAreNotBatman · 05/07/2023 18:33

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Again, very strange.

But anyway, once more, everything is fine. I have no idea why you are harrassing me, such odd behaviour.

So since you are so concerned: I’m very happy, living a good life, I’m super healthy. Only thing bothering me has been your very strange comments, so I’ll ignore you from here on out.
Please leave alone.

Meerkatdog · 05/07/2023 18:23

Brefugee · 05/07/2023 17:48

this kind of thread (on mn) never fails to amaze me.
Do you think there are boards full of women hating incels saying "no, wait, some women are lovely"?

There is nothing approaching the level of hate against a sex on this thread than you get on, say, a Reddit thread about feminism. So - meh.

Nobody, not even on this thread, has made anything approaching the hateful comments against women on the internet on multiple sites multiple times a day.

why can't we have a thread where we outline the reasons we hate men without someone coming in telling us how hateful that is? when women have it exponentially worse whenever we stick our heads above the parapet. Etc etc etc

I'm sorry but 'why can't we have a thread where we outline the reasons we hate men without someone coming on to tell us how hateful that is' 😂

So you want a thread where you can be as hateful as you like about a particular group (50% of the population in fact) and it to go totally unchallenged?
Let's not forget that this is a parenting forum, full of women (and some men) who have husbands, sons, boyfriends, friends that are men, that they love. It isn't all feminist man haters.

Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 18:13

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VWFF · 05/07/2023 18:00

If you say anything nice about men you get accused of talking about My Nigel. So women being horrible to other women.

These men are bonkers on Reddit. Not all men are bonkers.

ASGIRC · 05/07/2023 17:58

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I know a lot more trans men than I do women! I know personally 4 trans men. Only 1 trans woman! So Im not sure your stats are entirely accurate.

ASGIRC · 05/07/2023 17:56

Brefugee · 05/07/2023 17:48

this kind of thread (on mn) never fails to amaze me.
Do you think there are boards full of women hating incels saying "no, wait, some women are lovely"?

There is nothing approaching the level of hate against a sex on this thread than you get on, say, a Reddit thread about feminism. So - meh.

Nobody, not even on this thread, has made anything approaching the hateful comments against women on the internet on multiple sites multiple times a day.

why can't we have a thread where we outline the reasons we hate men without someone coming in telling us how hateful that is? when women have it exponentially worse whenever we stick our heads above the parapet. Etc etc etc

Because 2 wrongs dont make a right!

I didnt know this was a female incel equivalent forum, either. But I can see how wrong I was. My bad!

Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 17:52

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Brefugee · 05/07/2023 17:48

ASGIRC · 04/07/2023 21:02

Wow... Theres a LOT of man hating here... I guess it tracks with other things Ive read on this forum, but still... DAMN!

As for me, no, I dont want revenge. I want equality. I dont hate men, nor do I think they are all terrible. Or that all women are amazing.

this kind of thread (on mn) never fails to amaze me.
Do you think there are boards full of women hating incels saying "no, wait, some women are lovely"?

There is nothing approaching the level of hate against a sex on this thread than you get on, say, a Reddit thread about feminism. So - meh.

Nobody, not even on this thread, has made anything approaching the hateful comments against women on the internet on multiple sites multiple times a day.

why can't we have a thread where we outline the reasons we hate men without someone coming in telling us how hateful that is? when women have it exponentially worse whenever we stick our heads above the parapet. Etc etc etc

YouAreNotBatman · 05/07/2023 17:20

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Very strange.

I didn’t know I had a follower, but anyway, you are wrong.
Hope that cleared things for you and you can now move on!

Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 17:15

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YouAreNotBatman · 05/07/2023 17:14

Nah, I’m good Itsdecisiontimeisitnot
I’m not sure if the steing of messages was for me, but that was so naive, silly and condescending at the same time, you must have burst into a laughter after writing it!

Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 17:03

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Meerkatdog · 05/07/2023 16:44

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Totally agree with this. I love being with my family, I love working part time, I love that I can choose to do whatever I want to do career wise but that it's equally accepted that I spend time with my kids and I can socialise with other women while I do so, which is very difficult for men if they are sahd's.
I love that I am the one that gets to carry children, give birth and breastfeed and that it's ok to be emotional and feminine. I would far rather be a woman than a man.

Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 16:26

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Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 16:26

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Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 16:25

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Itsdecisiontimeisitnot · 05/07/2023 16:24

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YouAreNotBatman · 05/07/2023 16:18

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Nope ☺️

midgetastic · 05/07/2023 16:17

I know my pension has been badly affected by sexism

I got a massive pay increase when it was successfully argued that the women in the dept were being underpaid but it didn't occur to me to demand pension funds were also made up , because it was all such a shock

I know sexism has made my life a lot harder at work than it should be which is why I have never objected to "misgendering" that occurs frequently on international collaborations - and that's also how I can tell the impact of the assumption of your sex (in short it's much easier to get your point across if they think you are male. One email not a long chain with increasing levels of detailed evidence )

I know I was bullied at school because of who I am - because I wasn't "normal" in their eyes

But yeah it's all my personal fault

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