Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why women only want equality and not revenge?

314 replies

Kingcatnight · 04/07/2023 19:09

Admittedly at the end of my tether with men at the moment so possibly BU but honestly right now I'm really struggling to understand what the majority of men appear to have to offer the world that in any way compares to or competes with the (IMO generally superior) social graces, intellectual power, emotional maturity, problem-solving skills, creativity and overall increased pleasantness of women.

I've spent the past week on the road visiting clients, most of whom are white middle class men in their 50's, and having to feign amusement at various childish jokes involving innuendo (not aimed at me, thankfully) and basic, rudimentary word-play. Before anyone suggests it, these clients bring a lot of money into the business I work for so a frosty response or "calling them out on it" would be ill-advised and incredibly damaging to my employer (and me!) but ye gods I'm sick of the self-satisfied look on their smug faces while they wait expectantly for their pathetic jokes to land and for me to respond.

Spent an hour's train ride today sitting in a packed carriage opposite a man who snorted and cleared his sinuses the entire journey, forcing everyone around him to listen to the sound of the snot going down the back of his throat, all whilst reading the absolutely sickening news that the Taliban are further restricting the rights of women in Afghanistan by closing all hair salons. Hair salons which were already only operating after having spray-painted out any pictures showing female faces on their signage. Women in this country are literally no longer allowed a face, let alone access to basic care, education etc.

And at the other far more superficial end of the scale the past few men I've dated, having gone to great lengths to try and vet them carefully beforehand, have turned out to be self-absorbed, selfish lovers who have clearly always relied on the woman's verbal agility and efforts to carry the entire conversation, and who actually have no interest in women beyond having a captive audience for their own accomplishments.

Weekly I hear of various other male relatives, or husbands/partners of friends and colleagues who generally don't pull their weight and give themselves a massive pat on the back for simply being half-competent at their job whilst contributing very little to home life, while their female counterpart is expected to excel as an employee, mother, partner, sister, daughter, friend, neighbour etc.

I say this as someone who has a very generous, caring father, generally decent male siblings etc, so I am aware "not all men", but I genuinely look around me in amazement at the number of smart, warm, dynamic and impressive women in my life who vastly outweigh the equivalent men and on days like today I can't help but think men don't realise how lucky they are that women are still only striving for equality and haven't taken it upon ourselves to overthrow them entirely...

OP posts:
Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 21:37

Meerkatdog · 04/07/2023 21:35

Reading this thread makes me despise women. eurgh! 'men bring nothing to the world' what a load of absolute tosh.
Giving a bad name to an all female forum, hope it doesn't end up in the daily fail.

OK, didn't take much to make you despise women tbh, I have a feeling you were 99.9% there.

WandaWonder · 04/07/2023 21:36

Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 21:23

And? You are unconsciously excusing men completely because some bad women exist. Look into yourself and examine why You anyone criticising men uncomfortable?

Why is criticising women being uncomfortable?

Apart from anything else we see examples of it on here every day

There is both 'bad' men and women why is that a problem mentioning it?

Growingouttogether · 04/07/2023 21:36

Haven’t read the full thread but YANBU. Often wonder what a world would look like run by women.

Meerkatdog · 04/07/2023 21:35

Reading this thread makes me despise women. eurgh! 'men bring nothing to the world' what a load of absolute tosh.
Giving a bad name to an all female forum, hope it doesn't end up in the daily fail.

EddyF · 04/07/2023 21:34

DepartureLounge · 04/07/2023 19:38

I couldn't agree more. Men are well aware of it too, which is why misogyny exists. Fear and loathing. They know the only way to avoid being our serfs is to curtail our opportunities, undermine our confidence and, if all else fails, hurt us physically. What a shower they are for the most part. And NAMALT? Well, scratch the surface a bit more and actually they mostly are tbh. Colour me unimpressed at best.

I guess you could say this about racism. The global majority have suffered for centuries due to racism from white people. If they were to seek revenge rather than fight for equality, you would possibly be up in arms.

Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 21:33

Talk about male violence. Do you think it is justified?

Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 21:33

I'm going by what you say@Witchcraftandhokum . What else can I go by? If at any mention of male violence you bring up female violence, it's textbook whataboutism.

Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 21:31

Not particularly surreal tbh.

Witchcraftandhokum · 04/07/2023 21:31

Allmyghosts I'm really not, but you appear to know more about what I think than me so crack on.

Spendonsend · 04/07/2023 21:30

This is all rather extreme and a bit surreal.

Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 21:29

Nobody said they were, it's whataboutism. Talk about the subject at hand, by bringing "bad" women into it you are deflecting.

Losingmyusername · 04/07/2023 21:29

Watching The Power was quite nice in that respect. Imagine.

Witchcraftandhokum · 04/07/2023 21:27

Allmyghosts where did I say I was excusing anyone? I was simply pointing out that some women are horrible human beings. We're not all angels.

AlwaysReadyNeverSteady · 04/07/2023 21:26

Don't buy the boring trope that "women have been equal or worse historically in the war mongering" stakes.
Not in the last couple of centuries they haven't. Since, you know, as a global community we seem to have become much more civilised in how we treat others, particularly the disadvantaged and marginalised.
Men (and by that I mean global leaders) don't seem to have caught up in that respect.

FeigningConcern · 04/07/2023 21:25

competes with the (IMO generally superior) social graces, intellectual power, emotional maturity, problem-solving skills, creativity and overall increased pleasantness of women

We obviously don't know the same women!

Fernbreeze · 04/07/2023 21:25

boobot1 · 04/07/2023 21:23

So what about Newton, Einstein, Shakespere, Tesla, Keats, Shelley, Byron, Michael Angelo, Da Vinci, Beethoven, Bach...... bring nothing to world.... er ok!

Oh please don't point inconvenient truths, there to busy turning on their sisters already.

I doubt most militants on here can handle it.

Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 21:24

*find

Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 21:23

Witchcraftandhokum · 04/07/2023 21:21

I've met some pretty abhorrent women.

And? You are unconsciously excusing men completely because some bad women exist. Look into yourself and examine why You anyone criticising men uncomfortable?

boobot1 · 04/07/2023 21:23

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/07/2023 20:24

The older I get the more I realise that they are just a vastly inferior species in every respect other than greater physical strength, speed and agility. And sometimes better hand/eye coordination.

We literally win hands down on everything else that counts:

  • Intelligence
  • Empathy
  • Ability to multi-task
  • Creative thinking
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Social skills
  • Negotiation
  • Forward planning and project management

There are plenty of men I love, including my partner and I have cherished male friends. But as a sex, aside from sex and companionship and brute force they bring nothing to the world.

I am pretty astonished it took me until I was in my late 40s to realise how woefully over-rated they are.

So what about Newton, Einstein, Shakespere, Tesla, Keats, Shelley, Byron, Michael Angelo, Da Vinci, Beethoven, Bach...... bring nothing to world.... er ok!

Witchcraftandhokum · 04/07/2023 21:21

I've met some pretty abhorrent women.

Fernbreeze · 04/07/2023 21:21

CherryGenoa · 04/07/2023 21:19

Yawn, not that tired old argument again @Fernbreeze Everyones a hypocrite in your world.

Care to point to point out where I said that previously? Come on, you want to calle out do It correctly and get your facts straight love.

CherryGenoa · 04/07/2023 21:19

Yawn, not that tired old argument again @Fernbreeze Everyones a hypocrite in your world.

Allmyghosts · 04/07/2023 21:19

Tbh the only blokes who I thought were alright were those I only knew superficially, I'm pretty fat and ugly, so get no benefit of the doubt from anyone. That makes a difference, I have met quite a few empathetic kind women, they aren't the general rule either.

I think eventually you just give up trying, women who have been treated favourably by others will never understand. Good for them.

My longterm ex was a very odd pussycat compared to the next bloke, the next was even worse. I gave up. I actually love being single tbh. There are worse things than being lonely.

Merryoldgoat · 04/07/2023 21:17

I agree. My husband is not like this. Neither is his dad.

I told him how my friends tell me ‘he’s a keeper’ because he’s an equal partner and parent.

He said that it’s pretty sad the bar is so low.

DarkDarkNight · 04/07/2023 21:17

YANBU. There was a news story about the Police before and example after example of Police Men abusing their positions and raping women, grooming them, contacting victims of crime and propositioning them. Yes yes not all men, but with a lot of them if they think they can get away with it they will do it.