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To wonder why women only want equality and not revenge?

314 replies

Kingcatnight · 04/07/2023 19:09

Admittedly at the end of my tether with men at the moment so possibly BU but honestly right now I'm really struggling to understand what the majority of men appear to have to offer the world that in any way compares to or competes with the (IMO generally superior) social graces, intellectual power, emotional maturity, problem-solving skills, creativity and overall increased pleasantness of women.

I've spent the past week on the road visiting clients, most of whom are white middle class men in their 50's, and having to feign amusement at various childish jokes involving innuendo (not aimed at me, thankfully) and basic, rudimentary word-play. Before anyone suggests it, these clients bring a lot of money into the business I work for so a frosty response or "calling them out on it" would be ill-advised and incredibly damaging to my employer (and me!) but ye gods I'm sick of the self-satisfied look on their smug faces while they wait expectantly for their pathetic jokes to land and for me to respond.

Spent an hour's train ride today sitting in a packed carriage opposite a man who snorted and cleared his sinuses the entire journey, forcing everyone around him to listen to the sound of the snot going down the back of his throat, all whilst reading the absolutely sickening news that the Taliban are further restricting the rights of women in Afghanistan by closing all hair salons. Hair salons which were already only operating after having spray-painted out any pictures showing female faces on their signage. Women in this country are literally no longer allowed a face, let alone access to basic care, education etc.

And at the other far more superficial end of the scale the past few men I've dated, having gone to great lengths to try and vet them carefully beforehand, have turned out to be self-absorbed, selfish lovers who have clearly always relied on the woman's verbal agility and efforts to carry the entire conversation, and who actually have no interest in women beyond having a captive audience for their own accomplishments.

Weekly I hear of various other male relatives, or husbands/partners of friends and colleagues who generally don't pull their weight and give themselves a massive pat on the back for simply being half-competent at their job whilst contributing very little to home life, while their female counterpart is expected to excel as an employee, mother, partner, sister, daughter, friend, neighbour etc.

I say this as someone who has a very generous, caring father, generally decent male siblings etc, so I am aware "not all men", but I genuinely look around me in amazement at the number of smart, warm, dynamic and impressive women in my life who vastly outweigh the equivalent men and on days like today I can't help but think men don't realise how lucky they are that women are still only striving for equality and haven't taken it upon ourselves to overthrow them entirely...

OP posts:
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KimberleyClark · 15/09/2025 22:11

Revenge doesn't really help anyone.

Liz1tummypain · 15/09/2025 22:07

smallpinecone · 13/09/2025 18:16

This is the reason I’d never want to be described as, or associated with, feminists.

All man-hating harpies full of hatred and bile. What a way to live. No thank you.

That's how I see these threads too..

smallpinecone · 13/09/2025 19:55

anytipswelcome · 13/09/2025 19:07

I’m a feminist and I don’t hate men, I live with one who is a fantastic dad and partner. I have friends who are male and brilliant humans. Feminists don’t “all” hate men, that’s a complete falsehood.

The self-described feminists I’ve seen on MN are an unpleasant bunch. I should have been more specific.

5128gap · 13/09/2025 19:15

I'd imagine because heterosexual women want them as partners and women who want children want them to impregnate them and co parent, and we give birth to them. So we really don't want the all out war revenge would mean. Instead we plod on, trying to educate, persuade and influence in the hopes of living harmoniously as equals.

anytipswelcome · 13/09/2025 19:07

smallpinecone · 13/09/2025 18:16

This is the reason I’d never want to be described as, or associated with, feminists.

All man-hating harpies full of hatred and bile. What a way to live. No thank you.

I’m a feminist and I don’t hate men, I live with one who is a fantastic dad and partner. I have friends who are male and brilliant humans. Feminists don’t “all” hate men, that’s a complete falsehood.

smallpinecone · 13/09/2025 18:16

This is the reason I’d never want to be described as, or associated with, feminists.

All man-hating harpies full of hatred and bile. What a way to live. No thank you.

Maddy70 · 13/09/2025 18:09

Why does anyone have any headspace for revenge? Those examples of men you have encountered just don't shag them!
My experience of men is very different, but I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I can

RoseAlone · 08/09/2025 20:44

This is a you problem and the reason women get a bad name. It's a women's world today, guys don't stand a chance

Illegally18 · 08/09/2025 20:35

StephanieSuperpowers · 04/07/2023 19:33

Also, what people call "bitchy" is by no means foreign to men, either.

So true.

Millytante · 08/09/2025 20:32

I think we’ve a far more pressing new battle going on, which is to prevent further erosion of the legal rights we’ve won, and the general space we now inhabit in society.
There’s been cynical commercial and cultural activity by the more militant (and the undercover) ranks of the Other Side these past forty years, whose aim is the reduction, and also the dilution in value, of women’s freedom.
OP’s list of women’s aptitudes pretty much illustrates a lot of the horrified realisation which struck that old devil, Patriarchy, and it gave many of them the willies, so to speak.
Certainly there was regret that Women’s Liberation had got as far as it had. Urgent action was needed! 🙄

Best revenge, if you feel vengeful, is to refuse to give an inch when you hear their damn tanks approaching.
We shall not be moved! (even though our senses are reeling with déjá vu)

TheJoyOfWriting · 08/09/2025 20:09

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/07/2023 20:24

The older I get the more I realise that they are just a vastly inferior species in every respect other than greater physical strength, speed and agility. And sometimes better hand/eye coordination.

We literally win hands down on everything else that counts:

  • Intelligence
  • Empathy
  • Ability to multi-task
  • Creative thinking
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Social skills
  • Negotiation
  • Forward planning and project management

There are plenty of men I love, including my partner and I have cherished male friends. But as a sex, aside from sex and companionship and brute force they bring nothing to the world.

I am pretty astonished it took me until I was in my late 40s to realise how woefully over-rated they are.

I agree that women are often stronger on social skills, empathy, negotiation,

On intelligence : it's worth pointing out that men on average score 4 IQ points higher than women.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0191886994900302%23:~:text%3DAmong%2520adults%252C%2520males%2520have%2520slightly,than%2520the%2520mean%2520for%2520females.&ved=2ahUKEwixq4nb7MmPAxWth_0HHRpLNXgQFnoECBgQBQ&usg=AOvVaw0ng6d2YU_OLEkvVHA6C7J-

However, I would need more research to make up my mind on this.

Creativity : on this topic you get MRAs saying things like 'Where's the female Shakespeare or Mozart or Plato?' But imo this ignores the glaring facts that 1. Women in those eras were heavily restricted (eg. Mozart's contemporary Marianna Martines could never write an opera as it would have been seen as inappropriate for a woman then, though previously some women had).

  1. Classical music & playwrighting etc have become much simpler since then. It would be very hard to think of a male of equivalent achievement to Shakespeare in later eras. Ditto Mozart. Philosophers too seem to have shrunk in stature in recent times.

https://www.google.com/url?opi=89978449&rct=j&sa=t&source=web&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.sciencedirect.com%2Fscience%2Farticle%2Fpii%2F0191886994900302%23%3A%7E%3Atext%3DAmong%2520adults%252C%2520males%2520have%2520slightly%2Cthan%2520the%2520mean%2520for%2520females.&usg=AOvVaw0ng6d2YU_OLEkvVHA6C7J-&ved=2ahUKEwixq4nb7MmPAxWth_0HHRpLNXgQFnoECBgQBQ

TheJoyOfWriting · 08/09/2025 19:54

Mumtothreegirlies · 04/07/2023 22:57

men are very lucky these days on the whole. Not only do we carry the weight of the caring role, we also pay half the bills now as well.
we could be bursting at the seams with baby on a Monday have 19 hour labour and episiotomy on the Tuesday and have the house cleaned by Wednesday and be back to work a few weeks later. I think life has gone downhill since this ‘equality’ came about. We are no longer taken care of and children and family suffer. We need to put more pressure on men and then maybe less men would walk out of the family home.

Being 'taken care of' in previous times also meant that women were shut out of the professikns and encouraged to be financially dependent w marriage bars etc

Yes, imo, similar to the Wages For Housework campaign, the government should value childcare for the important role it is.

But while men should support, I don't think 'being taken care of' is the sole ideal. If a woman wants to work, why shouldn't she split bills? Mothers w young kids should be supported, but I don't think splitting bills etc is per se bad. Men should help w caring more though.

TheJoyOfWriting · 08/09/2025 02:39

TrishM80 · 04/07/2023 22:34

I'm afraid that's simply not true. If this was a female only world, and it never had male geniuses, innovators and inventors, let's face it, we'd all be living in mud huts.

Happier and safer in our, no doubt, lesbian relationships, and not having to put up with anymore ghastly and mediocre men in our lives, but living in mud huts nonetheless.

Camille Paglia fan, are you?

I take it you don't have a high opinion of women's ability to innovate or invent...?

AutisticLegoLover · 06/07/2023 10:35

Can we have both revenge and equality? That would be nice. Do voodoo dolls actually work? If his dick would drop off by itself they would make me very happy and stop him raping anyone. Then if child maintenance could be more than what it costs to feed Dd that would do nicely.

BuffyTheCat · 06/07/2023 09:51

I don’t hate men, I just find most of them really tedious. The way they interrupt and talk over women, usually on topics they don’t know much about, just because they like the sound of their own voice and think they’re entitled to an audience. The fact fact that so many of them abandon their children. The fact that so many of them are violent to women and yet the rest of them have nothing to offer in terms of a solution. I think the majority of men, even the ‘nice’ ones, think they are superior to women.

If I could imagine revenge, it would be that they’d shut up 80% of the time, and put some thought and effort into solving the problems they, as a group, have caused. Maybe that’s consequences rather than revenge?

SamanthaCaine · 06/07/2023 08:17

SideWonder · 06/07/2023 07:01

Totally with you @Kingcatnight

I tend to live my life pretty much without men. They cost us all. If I ruled the world - all men would pay an extra 1% tax to cover the costs of the harm and damage they do.

This is exactly why women are at the bottom of the pile and deservedly so.

SamanthaCaine · 06/07/2023 08:15

TrishM80 · 05/07/2023 12:09

I think this thread is getting derailed somewhat. Let's not lose sight of the OP's original point. A random middle aged white bloke blew his nose on the train.

What an entitled bastard!

I know right. If there was ever a reason to want revenge on men, this is it.

Snotty nosed bastard.

Meerkatdog · 06/07/2023 07:59

Brefugee · 06/07/2023 06:33

Where you're going is whataboutery.
Or did I miss black people, Jewish people or Muslim people oppressing all women for all eternity?

Can we start a thread being hateful about white people then? Or British people? Or Spanish people?

h1d1ng1npla1ns1ght · 06/07/2023 07:06

SideWonder · 06/07/2023 07:01

Totally with you @Kingcatnight

I tend to live my life pretty much without men. They cost us all. If I ruled the world - all men would pay an extra 1% tax to cover the costs of the harm and damage they do.

This is a great idea. I’d vote for you.

SideWonder · 06/07/2023 07:01

Totally with you @Kingcatnight

I tend to live my life pretty much without men. They cost us all. If I ruled the world - all men would pay an extra 1% tax to cover the costs of the harm and damage they do.

Brefugee · 06/07/2023 06:33

WandaWonder · 06/07/2023 00:37

"why can't we have a thread where we outline the reasons we hate men without someone coming in telling us how hateful that is?"

Ok change the word 'men' to 'black' , 'jews' , 'asians' , 'muslims' see where I am going here

Where you're going is whataboutery.
Or did I miss black people, Jewish people or Muslim people oppressing all women for all eternity?

ImustLearn2Cook · 06/07/2023 03:47

A pp earlier in the thread said the best revenge is for women to support each other.

A few other pp throughout the thread have pointed out that women can be quite nasty to one another. The rebuttal has been that being bitchy or nasty is no where near as bad as the level of violence perpetrated by men. True. However it misses the point.

Throughout my life I have seen countless times where women are attacked by other women. I remember a woman escaping domestic violence being bullied by not just one woman but a group of women. The nasty things that they said (including accusing her of deserving her husband’s abuse and he’s a lovely man, she pushed him to it etc) and nasty things they did when she was vulnerable was appalling. She was outnumbered by these vicious women. It broke her down. She left. I have no idea what ended up happening with her. Anyone who tried to intervene and stand up for her was viciously attacked in retaliation. Relational aggression.

(FWIW the abusive husband may have been charming and knew how to give the right impression to the right people but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t guilty of his abusive behaviour at home. It’s a tactic abusive people use where victims are not believed).

So, is this behaviour worse than physical assault, rape and murder? It’s beside the point.

Women tearing other women down, standing up for abusive men when they abuse some woman you don’t like, it adds to the problem!

We need to take a good hard look at ourselves and support each other better.

Support each other with comradeship, love, build each other up.

Not support each other to hate and seek revenge. That does not make us better people and it doesn’t solve our issues. It is a lazy, easy path that destroys us from within.

And no, we would not rule the world better if we achieved that leadership role through revenge.

WandaWonder · 06/07/2023 00:37

Brefugee · 05/07/2023 17:48

this kind of thread (on mn) never fails to amaze me.
Do you think there are boards full of women hating incels saying "no, wait, some women are lovely"?

There is nothing approaching the level of hate against a sex on this thread than you get on, say, a Reddit thread about feminism. So - meh.

Nobody, not even on this thread, has made anything approaching the hateful comments against women on the internet on multiple sites multiple times a day.

why can't we have a thread where we outline the reasons we hate men without someone coming in telling us how hateful that is? when women have it exponentially worse whenever we stick our heads above the parapet. Etc etc etc

"why can't we have a thread where we outline the reasons we hate men without someone coming in telling us how hateful that is?"

Ok change the word 'men' to 'black' , 'jews' , 'asians' , 'muslims' see where I am going here

erikbloodaxe · 05/07/2023 20:27

Are you one of the 'lovely women' OP?

FrippEnos · 05/07/2023 20:08

Lentilweaver · 05/07/2023 08:07

Really? On another thread, a mum is complaining that an older man who is volunteering along with her 15-year-old daughter is harassing her and asking if she is a virgin. You think older women generally spend their time harassing young boys? Or they would love to, but just don't get the opportunity?

I cannot count the number of times DD has been harassed by predatory older men.

I have been on all women factory floors that have been just as bad as men.