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Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:59

Maddy70 · 03/07/2023 11:54

I wouldn't say anything it was a stripper not an affair

I'm hoping to hear more of this

OP posts:
SparklingMarkling · 03/07/2023 11:59

Just take one for the team. Men do it all the time. It’s not right but I doubt they would eat themselves up over it. Excuse the pun.

Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2023 11:59

Well that’s grim, why the bloody hell would you suck a strangers knob in front of an audience?
Normally I would say that there’s not point in telling your H but if you did it in front of witnesses he is probably going to find out.

OhComeOnFFS · 03/07/2023 11:59

Oh god, what were you thinking? In front of everyone else as well? Is he going to hear about this from someone else? You realise 19 women are now saying "At least I didn't do what OP did" don't you?

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 11:59

Don't tell him and hope for the best, because it would really hurt him. And get some support for your drinking. Or don't drink as much.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:58

No but I confided in 1 other that I had done it

OP posts:
NeverThatSerious · 03/07/2023 11:58

Can’t believe how many people are saying this isn’t cheating..

AnonKat · 03/07/2023 11:58

Classic Mumsnet! She sucked a man's penis and it's not cheating 🤣

It's on a hen night, so it's ok? Laughable.

What if he has an STI?

YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 11:58

I would be worried that the stripper would report you for crossing a line.

mauricemossmylove · 03/07/2023 11:58

if my OH had given a stripper oral sex I'd certainly think that was cheating yeah, sorry

SparklingMarkling · 03/07/2023 11:58

I would keep quiet about this by the way.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:58

Aquamarine1029 · 03/07/2023 11:57

Oh dear. Is it possible videos or pictures were taken?

Unlikely he had a big Union Jack flag that I was behind but not impossible

OP posts:
redskytwonight · 03/07/2023 11:57

Will he otherwise find out? If he won't then don't tell him - it will be for your benefit and not his.

If you think he will find out than I'd suggest simply, directly and quickly. With a lot of apologising. And be fully prepared that he might not want a relationship any more.

isthismylifenow · 03/07/2023 11:57

Was this is front of the other women?

Do you feel you need to tell him incase someone else does that saw?

SparklingMarkling · 03/07/2023 11:57

You did that infront of a crowd? Mortifying. I feel bad for you.

Stormydanielss · 03/07/2023 11:57

Oh my goodness 😬 I think tell him before someone else who was in the crowd does

YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 11:57

Do male strippers actually engage in prostitution like that - performing actual sex acts in front of people like that? Don’t they have boundaries? Very odd.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/07/2023 11:57

Oh dear. Is it possible videos or pictures were taken?

NeverThatSerious · 03/07/2023 11:56

Dont blame you for feeling horrendous about this’d that’s awful. You need to be honest with him though, and try to limit your self pity, this isn’t about how bad you feel really.

Stratocumulus · 03/07/2023 11:56

Do not tell him.
What happens at a Hen Party stays at the hen party.
What good will it do to tell him? Assuage your guilt? I don’t think so.

It will just open a can of worms you can do without.
Stop thinking about it and keep busy. Time will dull the memory and probably give you more perspective.

Comedycook · 03/07/2023 11:56

Oh yikes...just read your follow up post.

Did you do that in front of people? Is your husband likely to find out from people you know? Yeah you should probably tell him.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:56

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/07/2023 11:54

sounds like she went full nosh-off on the stripper, whereas some licked a bit of cream off.

It wasn't "full" but was more than the others

OP posts:
Smoothiecarton · 03/07/2023 11:55

I guess you’re just worried he’ll find out from someone who was ‘in the crowd’?
And if there’s no chance of that happening, I think you should keep it quiet , because it’s horrible and will really hurt him.

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 11:55

Yeah, that's grim in my book. But I wouldn't tell your DH.

Maddy70 · 03/07/2023 11:54

I wouldn't say anything it was a stripper not an affair