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Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
LadyH846 · 03/07/2023 12:07

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 03/07/2023 12:06

Only men think women get aroused by strippers. Women do not get aroused by strippers.

Yep. This is clearly a male poster. Women in this situation would just laugh at a male stripper with cream on his penis, or be horrified.

Blanketpolicy · 03/07/2023 12:07

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:02

The drink definitely contributed but honestly it was more how horny it seemed to make me

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Yes you have been unfaithful, yes you should tell him. But maybe miss out the so horny part.

Mylifeislikeaboatrace · 03/07/2023 12:07

So I guess the cool women would be okay with their dh /dp doing something similar with a female stripper? Yes, of course you would.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:07

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:05

Indeed. Windup. The horny bit was rather too far.

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Honestly not a wind up. I'd actually written aroused but thought it sounded a bit too Hyacinth Bouqet

OP posts:
Minikievs · 03/07/2023 12:06

Are you over dramatizing how far you actually went?
I'm not sure a "professional" stripper would let you? I know that sounds ridiculous but this is his actual job. He's not a random hoping to get his rocks off.
If it's true, I can't believe people are saying this is ok as it was a hen party, he's a stripper etc
If it was my OH that went down on a stripper at a stag do I'd dump him immediately.
If I was on the hen do with you, I'd 100% be gossiping about it with the other women and telling other friends AND my OH.
I don't care if that makes me a gossip.
He's totally going to find out

Comedycook · 03/07/2023 12:06

Twistyripple · 03/07/2023 12:04

This must be a wind up. OPs latests posts about being horny are just daft

Agree.

NeverThatSerious · 03/07/2023 12:06

Think you’ve overegged the pudding now op..

Berlinlover · 03/07/2023 12:06

I’m struggling to believe this is real.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 03/07/2023 12:06

Only men think women get aroused by strippers. Women do not get aroused by strippers.

MrsO3 · 03/07/2023 12:06

I see where you're coming from to a certain extend but this happened at a hen and she's told someone else already so this is just messy now, it could easily get back to DH. It's one of those things that's better coming from the horse's mouth rather than him finding out through someone else. That's far worse. She's done wrong. She needs to be honest then deal with the consequences. Either DH can forgive and forget or he can't but that's on her

workworkworkugh · 03/07/2023 12:06

AnonKat · 03/07/2023 11:58

Classic Mumsnet! She sucked a man's penis and it's not cheating 🤣

It's on a hen night, so it's ok? Laughable.

What if he has an STI?

Sorry but this made laugh 😂

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 03/07/2023 12:06

3 to 4 minutes in this context is a long time Sad

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:05

LadyH846 · 03/07/2023 12:05

Is this for real? I can't imagine many women who would be aroused by giving a stripper a blowie in front of a crowd of people?

Indeed. Windup. The horny bit was rather too far.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:05

HeadacheEarthquake · 03/07/2023 12:04

Not to be negative but...

It's likely that if you did go overboard compared to everyone else, then the other hens will be telling their mates about it. Was anything said the next day? I can't imagine not feeling extremely awkward the next morning and I imagine your husband will at some point hear about it, but by then the Chinese whispers will have overblown (scuse the pun) the original events.

No offence to the organiser if thats what the bride wanted but that seems a really childish tacky horrible evening in my view and likely to be booked by someone who also enjoys a good gossip.

I don't know - people took turns and some were there longer than others, I don't know who did what exactly as in some literally just licked the cream off and were out

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 03/07/2023 12:05

Ob12 · 03/07/2023 12:02

Classic Mumsnet, "don't tell him" "what happens on a hen stays..." if this were a man, they would be crucified

I agree.

neverbeenskiing · 03/07/2023 12:05

I wouldn't say anything it was a stripper not an affair

It wasn't an affair because it happened once, but she gave a man who isn't her DH oral sex, so it absolutely is cheating. I'm find it odd that some posters are saying because he was a stripper it "didn't count". Strippers are still people!

If OP had posted saying her DH had gone down on another woman but he was claiming it didn't count as infidelity because she was a sex worker she'd still he told he was a cheating scum bag and to LTB.

Damnedidont · 03/07/2023 12:05

Confessing achieves nothing but cause pain. Guilt is the price you pay - please don't make him pay too

YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 12:05

Twistyripple · 03/07/2023 12:04

This must be a wind up. OPs latests posts about being horny are just daft

Hypothetical reverse if you ask me. “All you women with double standards”.

LadyH846 · 03/07/2023 12:05

Is this for real? I can't imagine many women who would be aroused by giving a stripper a blowie in front of a crowd of people?

KatherineSwynford1403 · 03/07/2023 12:04

I've been to some very tame hen parties then if this is what goes on. Never had a stripper at any of them in the last 12 years.

Smoothiecarton · 03/07/2023 12:04

Men do not do this to strippers all the time. Prostitutes perhaps. A man that went in for oral at a stripclub would be escorted out very quickly.

ChickenMacaroni · 03/07/2023 12:04

I think you should stop drinking, permanently and immediately since it makes you make such awful decisions.

On the telling DH - unless you want to change your relationship irreparably forever then don't. I'm not saying keeping secrets is a good idea but you'd literally only be telling him to assuage guilt if he's not going to find out from anyone else. Caveat to this is if the 1 person you've told is at even a teeny tiny risk of blabbing.

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:04

Actually am not sure if this is a windup... Seems rather unlikely for a hen do.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:04

SparklingMarkling · 03/07/2023 12:03

@brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Goes on in our local strip club all the time. Unofficially of course (private dances in your own cubicle behind the curtain) you pay more of course.

I mean OP did cheat but are we talking a full on Nosh or just a quick gobble.

no good can come of this. Keep quiet and hope for the best.

Honestly it eas maybe 3-4 minutes so in between

OP posts:
HeadacheEarthquake · 03/07/2023 12:04

Not to be negative but...

It's likely that if you did go overboard compared to everyone else, then the other hens will be telling their mates about it. Was anything said the next day? I can't imagine not feeling extremely awkward the next morning and I imagine your husband will at some point hear about it, but by then the Chinese whispers will have overblown (scuse the pun) the original events.

No offence to the organiser if thats what the bride wanted but that seems a really childish tacky horrible evening in my view and likely to be booked by someone who also enjoys a good gossip.