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Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
loobylou10 · 03/07/2023 12:12

Of course this happened.

Diorinthecountryy · 03/07/2023 12:12

Some of the posts on here 🤣

I believe you op as an ex friend of mine always ended up going extra with strippers at hen nights.

I honestly wouldn't tell your husband. If you tell him that could out the other 19. Shit would well and truly hit the fan for everyone.

rinseandrepeat1 · 03/07/2023 12:11

I cannot believe that some people on here don't think a 3-4 minute blow job is cheating 😳

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:11

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 03/07/2023 12:09

You got drunk at a hen party and took things a little bit too far. People make mistakes. Tell him and apologise, it’s not the end of the world. It would be completely different if you ended up in the guys bed and went the full hog.

Personally I don’t consider it cheating but I’m very open minded.

Thank you

OP posts:
YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 12:11

I’m even sceptical about the posters who are playing ball with the op and giving serious responses.

Growlybear83 · 03/07/2023 12:11

If someone posted that their husband/partner had given oral sex to a female stripper in front of a crowd of people, everyone on here would be advising them to leave him. Of course you've cheated and of course you need to tell your husband what you've done. And you've got to expect , that what you've done will end your relationship.

Superstorefan123 · 03/07/2023 12:11

Can’t believe those saying this isn’t cheating!!

licking a bit of cream off a strippers stomach/chest = probably the right side of OK

licking cream off a penis = over the line

This 100% won’t stay quiet forever so I think honesty is the best policy :( sorry OP

GG1986 · 03/07/2023 12:10

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:04

Actually am not sure if this is a windup... Seems rather unlikely for a hen do.

I have heard of this sort of thing happening at a hen party before with a male stripper!

Comedycook · 03/07/2023 12:10

I went on a hen night with male strippers/dancers. Least sexy thing ever.

YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 12:09

Comedycook · 03/07/2023 12:07

Exactly

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I’ve heard that women can feel pretty traumatised when they are pulled on stage as part of an act- they usually chose someone who looks embarrassed to be there.

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:09

Yep, it's a teenager.

Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2023 12:09

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:59

I'm hoping to hear more of this

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I am not entirely sure that was what you were hoping for from this thread

isthismylifenow · 03/07/2023 12:09

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:08

Hence the knowing I've gone too far

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I think gone too far extends to this post too....

AnnaTortoiseshell · 03/07/2023 12:09

Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2023 12:07

Someone organised a Butler in The Buff for a friends 40th.
I can honestly say not one of us found it erotic- in fact I felt the whole thing was a bit unhygienic

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We did a sexy life drawing thing once and ended up asking the lovely young chap about his studies and career goals Grin

Hotterthanhades · 03/07/2023 12:09

LadyH846 · 03/07/2023 12:07

Yep. This is clearly a male poster. Women in this situation would just laugh at a male stripper with cream on his penis, or be horrified.

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Had posted to say exactly this, but you beat me to it!

definitely a male poster. £10 it’s a teenager.

even adult men have some idea of what women find erotic.

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 03/07/2023 12:09

You got drunk at a hen party and took things a little bit too far. People make mistakes. Tell him and apologise, it’s not the end of the world. It would be completely different if you ended up in the guys bed and went the full hog.

Personally I don’t consider it cheating but I’m very open minded.

MrsO3 · 03/07/2023 12:09

MrsO3 · 03/07/2023 12:06

I see where you're coming from to a certain extend but this happened at a hen and she's told someone else already so this is just messy now, it could easily get back to DH. It's one of those things that's better coming from the horse's mouth rather than him finding out through someone else. That's far worse. She's done wrong. She needs to be honest then deal with the consequences. Either DH can forgive and forget or he can't but that's on her

@BansheeofInisherin this was to you ☝️

Nuca · 03/07/2023 12:08

AnonKat · 03/07/2023 11:58

Classic Mumsnet! She sucked a man's penis and it's not cheating 🤣

It's on a hen night, so it's ok? Laughable.

What if he has an STI?

Exactly what I was thinking. If someone posted saying her husband had done anything with a stripper on a stag do they would be ripping him to shreds and telling her to get her finances together and leave. Most mumsnetters say that even going to a stripper would be a dealbreaker for them. But when it's a woman it's not cheating because it's a hen do and doesn't count🙄

AnnaTortoiseshell · 03/07/2023 12:08

You’re trying to crack on that a group of 20 women all, at the very least, licked cream off a stranger’s penis in front of one another? Absolutely did not happen.

Puffalicious · 03/07/2023 12:08

Hotterthanhades · 03/07/2023 12:07

This is bullshit.

No woman in the history of hen nights has been horny at the sight of a stripper at a hen do. No matter how much Lambrini is drunk.

OP is clearly a bloke.

True.

Lambrini 😅

isthismylifenow · 03/07/2023 12:08

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:02

The drink definitely contributed but honestly it was more how horny it seemed to make me

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👀

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:08

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 03/07/2023 12:06

3 to 4 minutes in this context is a long time Sad

Hence the knowing I've gone too far

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2023 12:07

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 03/07/2023 12:06

Only men think women get aroused by strippers. Women do not get aroused by strippers.

Someone organised a Butler in The Buff for a friends 40th.
I can honestly say not one of us found it erotic- in fact I felt the whole thing was a bit unhygienic

Hotterthanhades · 03/07/2023 12:07

This is bullshit.

No woman in the history of hen nights has been horny at the sight of a stripper at a hen do. No matter how much Lambrini is drunk.

OP is clearly a bloke.

Comedycook · 03/07/2023 12:07

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 03/07/2023 12:06

Only men think women get aroused by strippers. Women do not get aroused by strippers.

Exactly