Page 33 | I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

Lostsoul0307 · 2023-07-03T10:48:58+00:00

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible. I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should. I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 12:24

Now all these other posters are suddenly forthcoming with - it must be true - I know someone it happened to. 🫤

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:24

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:23

We can hold stones if we're not sitting in glass houses

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You can also happily throw them, panting at the bit

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 12:23

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:22

Can people not give OP advice without attacking her. She has done something daft when drunk and is here for advice not to be condemned. Can always tell the ones that would be holding the stones on here.

Tbf, she's had a lot of advice, she's just ignoring it if it includes actually coming clean and telling her husband what she's done

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 03/07/2023 12:23

By telling him you are assuaging your own guilt.

To me is a bit deal as would have been my DP engaging with oral sex with a female stripper.

If everything else is fine, I wouldn't want to know. Ignorance can be bliss.

It really is a make or break thing for me. Him oral sex to a female, you oral sex to a male.

I don't never been there , don't know why commenting!

Imstillmagicdamnit · 03/07/2023 12:23

What the hell is going on with these answers? “Don’t tell him” “It was nothing” “a bit of fun keep it to yourself”. You gave the stripper a blow job, that’s cheating regardless of his profession or reason for being there.

If your husband went down on another woman, a stripper or even a sex worker but didn’t make her cum would you consider that cheating? Or is it double standards?

Jfc.

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:23

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:22

Can people not give OP advice without attacking her. She has done something daft when drunk and is here for advice not to be condemned. Can always tell the ones that would be holding the stones on here.

We can hold stones if we're not sitting in glass houses

Dindundundundeeer · 03/07/2023 12:22

I remember a friend doing this, I was genuinely shocked that she'd suck some randoms dick. He lifted the cover to reveal her very vigorous efforts! That night was an eye opener for me.

Now is the time to keep your mouth firmly shut OP!

BloodandGlitter · 03/07/2023 12:22

Fucking hell if a man visits a strip club on here everyone screams LTB but a woman giving a guy a bit of head? Not cheating at all! Forget about it, no need to tell anyone, it was harmless!

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:22

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:17

For goodness sake, perhaps it was broad shoulder's the 6 pack and the significantly bigger than average cock

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I would say that you have been watching too many episodes of Sex and the City, except that you are too young to know what that is.

Yes, this has been good entertainment on a Monday morning.

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:22

Can people not give OP advice without attacking her. She has done something daft when drunk and is here for advice not to be condemned. Can always tell the ones that would be holding the stones on here.

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:22

Luckily the party are spread out

They wont be spread out at the wedding.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 12:21

Luckily the party are spread out but how awful for him if everyone else knows

The awful part begins and ends when the wife sucks off a stripper OP 🤣🤣

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:21

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 12:19

This very unconvincing thread will ne misrepresented forever as 'classic Mumsnet double standards!' - it's happening on the thread right now. Despite the many posts clearly stating that it is a) infidelity and b) horrifying significantly outnumbering the 'it's not cheating' posts, people are still going 'imagine if it was reversed, you hypocrites!' as though it was a unanimous concensus.

To be fair, most of the 'its not cheating' comments came when she said she just licked some cream off him, before she confirmed she'd actually sucked him off.

Original poster

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:20

Silverumbrella · 03/07/2023 12:19

This happened to dh’s mate, his wife did the same thing. They live locally and there was a stripper night in the local hall, dh mates wife (she was rat arsed) gave one of the strippers a BJ, it’s still talked about today, years later. We have no idea if dh mate actually knows or not, be hard not to as their small town is a breeding ground for gossip mongers.

Luckily the party are spread out but how awful for him if everyone else knows

OP posts:

TheFireflies · 03/07/2023 12:20

Come off it 3-4 minutes? Everyone else would’ve been bored shitless by this point. That’s just not what happens.

GalileoHumpkins · 03/07/2023 12:19

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:17

For goodness sake, perhaps it was broad shoulder's the 6 pack and the significantly bigger than average cock

Show quote history

I was picturing him more like this tbh.

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

isthismylifenow · 03/07/2023 12:19

The last time I saw a stripper, he didn't even take off his underwear.

Didn't have a flag either.

Or whipped cream.

😂

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 12:19

This very unconvincing thread will ne misrepresented forever as 'classic Mumsnet double standards!' - it's happening on the thread right now. Despite the many posts clearly stating that it is a) infidelity and b) horrifying significantly outnumbering the 'it's not cheating' posts, people are still going 'imagine if it was reversed, you hypocrites!' as though it was a unanimous concensus.

Silverumbrella · 03/07/2023 12:19

This happened to dh’s mate, his wife did the same thing. They live locally and there was a stripper night in the local hall, dh mates wife (she was rat arsed) gave one of the strippers a BJ, it’s still talked about today, years later. We have no idea if dh mate actually knows or not, be hard not to as their small town is a breeding ground for gossip mongers.

FOJN · 03/07/2023 12:19

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 03/07/2023 12:09

You got drunk at a hen party and took things a little bit too far. People make mistakes. Tell him and apologise, it’s not the end of the world. It would be completely different if you ended up in the guys bed and went the full hog.

Personally I don’t consider it cheating but I’m very open minded.

Tell him and apologise, it's not the end of the world?

It is cheating and it could well be the end of OP's marriage if her husband finds out.

Expecting your spouse not to have oral sex with other men is not closed minded, it's pretty reasonable after you've vowed to forsake all others.

Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2023 12:19

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ManateeFair · 03/07/2023 12:18

Yes, it's cheating to suck a stranger's dick at a party. Of course it is.

However, I do not think your DH will benefit in any way at all from being told about this. I would say nothing.

Honestly, if I'd done this I'd hate myself for it. I really would. But I wouldn't hurt my boyfriend by telling him about it. You'd be telling him for your own sake, not for his - you'd be making yourself feel better by unburdening yourself, but at the same time you'd be hurting him and potentially wrecking your marriage for both of you. Unless you really want to throw away your relationship for this, keep quiet.

Original poster

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:18

Campervangirl · 03/07/2023 12:17

Keep quiet op, there's no point in telling your DH.
You need to learn to keep your mouth shut.
None of the below would happen if you kept/keep your mouth shut.
1: noshing off a stripper 😁
2: telling another hen
3: telling DH
Give yourself a break, keep shtum, if the other hen blabs, feign ingnorance, if the other hens suggest you were behind the flag for a while "yeah, I was just playing up to the audience, giving you hens something to laugh about, nothing happened, what do you take me for 😂"
Front it out, chin up, tits out.
Seriously, your punishment is the guilt and the thought that you noshed off a stripper, grim!
Anyway thanks for cheering up my Monday morning in the office

Well you have genuinely made me lol

OP posts:

TheCosmosIsMine · 03/07/2023 12:18

your poor husband married to you

MaybeWednesday · 03/07/2023 12:18

I'm very surprised you were "horny" watching this. I can't imagine many women do get aroused watching a man gyrate a cream covered penis round and round!

Laugh maybe! Get sexually excited? Never!