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Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
Emotionalsupportviper · 03/07/2023 12:29

FOJN · 03/07/2023 11:51

Unless he's likely to hear it from someone else why would you hurt him by telling him?
Your guilt is for you to deal with.

THIS

If you are only wanting to salve your conscience, keep quiet.

standardduck · 03/07/2023 12:29

Funny how everyone is okay with this and it's not considered cheating because OP is a woman. If OP posted about her fiancé going down on a stripper, everyone would be telling her to leave him Grin

OP, only you and your DH know what's consider cheating in your relationship. In my opinion it is.

I can't imagine not telling my DH, imagine if he finds out from someone else. And yes, you were behind a flag, but what do you think the rest of your group thought you were doing there for 3-4 minutes?

Also, get an STI test.

PookieHook · 03/07/2023 12:28

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:25

I know I need to tell DH I just genuinely don't know how

Tell him that you fell over and you accidently got the strippers cock in your mouth. Tell him while you were struggling to get up, you may have run your tongue up and down his maypole a few times, completely accidently of course.
Jobs a goodun!

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:28

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:27

@strawberrywhisk because she's just responding to the posters saying it's fine and hoping everyone will talk her down from telling him...

I'm not panting at anything, but I think he deserves to know the truth.

I could probably forgive drunken cheating if it was in a nightclub or something, but someone who had been paid for and all DP's friends had a go on, too? That's something very different.

Hoping in vain, I don't even know where to begin in telling him

OP posts:
ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 03/07/2023 12:28

I'm not prude but finding this one hard to believe.

A 4 minute public blowjob where other women did the same also. Christ, can you imagine if a female stripped was subjected to the same? Is no one else thinking stds, consent, sexual assault?

There's a hell of a difference between living some cream of a stripper and having your cock in his mouth.

I'd forgive an affair quicker than this public performance.

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:27

@strawberrywhisk because she's just responding to the posters saying it's fine and hoping everyone will talk her down from telling him...

I'm not panting at anything, but I think he deserves to know the truth.

I could probably forgive drunken cheating if it was in a nightclub or something, but someone who had been paid for and all DP's friends had a go on, too? That's something very different.

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:27

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:25

I know I need to tell DH I just genuinely don't know how

How would you like to be told?

Toniii · 03/07/2023 12:27

You sucked his cock for 3-4 minutes? Yeah I'd divorce you for that like! And I'm not a prude at all.

whumpthereitis · 03/07/2023 12:27

People like to think that women don’t do this shit on hen nights, and that debauchery is reserved for men, but some absolutely do. Some wild shit goes on at times.

I’d advise keeping quiet, if no one saw you and there’s no photo or video evidence. The women you told - does she have an OH? If so, she’s probably not going to want to be reported back on either.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 12:26

Thisweeksname · 03/07/2023 12:24

It is bad but i don’t think I’d tell him. If a man went on a stag do and did stuff none of the other blokes would grass him up and it’s unlikely he would tell his wife. Keep it to yourself.

Women are different though.

I was on a hen last year and one of the party were being very over the top flirtatious with a guy who then proceeded to follow us around like a bad smell for the rest of the night. We talk about the vibe it gave the night all the time. We'd probably meet weekly to talk about it if she'd actually sucked him off 🤣🤣🤣

GuinnessBird · 03/07/2023 12:26

Fake or not this is exposing the hypocrites.

astarsheis · 03/07/2023 12:26

Don't tell him! Nothing to be gained form it. Heard of worse things with strippers both male and female.

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:26

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 12:23

Tbf, she's had a lot of advice, she's just ignoring it if it includes actually coming clean and telling her husband what she's done

Show quote history

I agree she should tell her dh, he has the right to know, and the right to decide how to proceed. I think lying by omission is as bad as the act.

Ameanstreakamilewide · 03/07/2023 12:26

I smell a rat. 🐀

Timeforchangeithink · 03/07/2023 12:26

For all those telling OP to say nothing would you be saying the same if she posted that her DH gave oral sex to a female stripper on a stag night? I think not, it would be totally different. OP you actually don't sound embarrassed at all you sound very proud. I would tell him because someone else definitely will.

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 03/07/2023 12:25

Campervangirl · 03/07/2023 12:17

Keep quiet op, there's no point in telling your DH.
You need to learn to keep your mouth shut.
None of the below would happen if you kept/keep your mouth shut.
1: noshing off a stripper 😁
2: telling another hen
3: telling DH
Give yourself a break, keep shtum, if the other hen blabs, feign ingnorance, if the other hens suggest you were behind the flag for a while "yeah, I was just playing up to the audience, giving you hens something to laugh about, nothing happened, what do you take me for 😂"
Front it out, chin up, tits out.
Seriously, your punishment is the guilt and the thought that you noshed off a stripper, grim!
Anyway thanks for cheering up my Monday morning in the office

This 100%

Use this moment to change your ways for sure but telling the old man? NO.

You've beaten yourself up for it. Learn from it. Move on. Put it in the past. The chances of this coming up is very low. If it does, make a joke about it and then leave it. If this is the only issue in your marriage, Schtum.

Meepme · 03/07/2023 12:25

Would you be ok if your DH did similar to a woman stripper?

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:25

I know I need to tell DH I just genuinely don't know how

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 03/07/2023 12:25

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 03/07/2023 12:09

You got drunk at a hen party and took things a little bit too far. People make mistakes. Tell him and apologise, it’s not the end of the world. It would be completely different if you ended up in the guys bed and went the full hog.

Personally I don’t consider it cheating but I’m very open minded.

hey Dave, i sucked off Gustav at the hen do whilst my friends listened, we're cool tho eh?

araiwa · 03/07/2023 12:25

Now is the time to keep your mouth firmly shut OP!

Op has a poor track record on doing that

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 03/07/2023 12:24

God, the response would be so different if it was a man posting Shock

PookieHook · 03/07/2023 12:24

Dindundundundeeer · 03/07/2023 12:22

I remember a friend doing this, I was genuinely shocked that she'd suck some randoms dick. He lifted the cover to reveal her very vigorous efforts! That night was an eye opener for me.

Now is the time to keep your mouth firmly shut OP!

If only the OP had done that before she disappeared under the flag, the filthy hussy!**

CosmosQueen · 03/07/2023 12:24

🤢🤢🤢

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 12:24

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:21

To be fair, most of the 'its not cheating' comments came when she said she just licked some cream off him, before she confirmed she'd actually sucked him off.

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Exactly, but that's being ignored by the tedious 'MN has double standards' posters who have very selective reading ability!

Thisweeksname · 03/07/2023 12:24

It is bad but i don’t think I’d tell him. If a man went on a stag do and did stuff none of the other blokes would grass him up and it’s unlikely he would tell his wife. Keep it to yourself.