I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

See your dental hygienist too!

Have you even considered you will all be at the same wedding fairly shortly probably drunk and this could come out

Hopefully during the speeches!

It was nothing.... a bit of silliness that went too far. You really don't need to tell your husband, for goodness sake!

OP

Keep it to yourself and live with the guilt and next time there is a stripper in your vicinity look with your eyes not your hands and mouth.

Don't tell your husband the burden of guilt is yours alone.

I used to be a bar maid at a truck stop that hosted female strippers 4 nights a week. I can absolutely promise you that while the law says " No touching " the strippers are very often more than happy to do a third act For extra donations. It would literally double their income for the night. In the case of the female dancers I had to watch, the third act often included shooting ping pong balls from her vagina into various glasses, stripping a bloke naked , oiling him up and then sliding all over him but a few did go further and rub their genitals literally into men's faces. Most where happy to use dildos and double enders etc

Oddly the men were all very circumspect. Nobody would make direct eye contact with her, the bar would quietly fill with men just before she started and then silently empty after she was done. I don't ever remember seeing a man taking liberties with them. But once a month we would host a women's night for the locals. They were a totally different Kettle of fish. Its like these women were drunk or high on their freedom and they formed a mob that would go way way too far with the male strippers. One weekend there was a brawl as a woman took her knickers off and tried to shag him on stage and another woman took offence. Hair flying all over, nails pinging off and the stripper loved it. He went home with 3 women and they openly bragged about what had happened and then it turned out he gave them all a dose . Just grim 😑. We never had him back. The women dancers very much saw it as work and going through the motions for cash. The men got a HUGE ego boost from it and were like disease central.

Op, you are going to confess to deal with your own guilt. If you genuinely have no intention of ever ever cheating again then you will achieve nothing by telling your DH. Your fellow hens are just as complicit and is in their interest to keep a quiet. But at the same time you could very well have contracted some sort of herpes unless he writes a condom.

Yes but.....he had a union jack.

Are we sure OP is a woman? Could be a same sex marriage?

YABVVU to feel remotely sexy anywhere in the vicinity of a Union Jack! Dealbreaker.

Politics aside, an honest and respectful person would tell their DH, so he can make an informed choice about who you are, how he feels, and whether or not you still have a future together. Witholding information to manipulate him into staying is not going to end well.

Pragmatically, someone is likely to tell DH, or show him a photo. Far better that he hears it from you.

Agree with others, if you are blaming alcohol for your impaired judgement then you need to stop drinking altogether.

The OP's first post says she licked whipped cream off him - she doesn't specify where! Some of the 'it's not cheating' responses are from people who haven't read the rest of the thread and are imagining something much more tame than the (nonsensical) updates. It's not so much double standards as a deliberately misleading opening post. Most of the responses very much condemn the (imaginary) behaviour as cheating, unhygienic and totally gross in every way!

🤣🤣🤣 thank god someone is picking up on the important bits!

Happy Monday to him then.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I was waiting for “STD test. Now.”

This has definitely happened on a few hen nights I’ve been on and general consensus is don’t break girl code and tell on you. Some even think if they guess or know their DH/SO has done it then what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!

There’s always one who goes too far too!

I haven’t heard of it getting out in my friends group apart from general gossip but I have heard of one friend of a friend who fell out with her best mate and told her DH about such an act who then told his best mate whose was best mate of friend who noshed on stripper’s knob. As far as I know friend who was told on just styled it out denied having done it and as her best mate was no longer her best mate and had always been considered a bitch/liar her DH thought it was all lies.

OP, honestly I personally wouldn’t worry too much about it. I would however be aware that this is and can be the sort of thing than can be gossiped about and dragged up years later so maybe think of an excuse/lie for your DH in case that happens.

I mean if you did tell him why would you tell him, what good what it do? Do you know a good divorce lawyer?

Years ago in my clubbing days I went back with 2 men I sort of knew to their house. One was fairly sexy in fact he looked like Dmitry for Deelite! I ended up giving him a BJ in the kitchen which his mate never saw. However I then stayed with the friend downstairs, “Dmitry” went home and I honestly did nothing. Stayed over no sex etc but he gave me his number on a post it note. A week later I rang it and we ended up dating for about 18 months. I saw “Dmitry” who was his best mate out and about but we never talked about my BJ and I don’t think he told his mate. Yes it wasn’t my finest hour but I’d had Ecstasy and coke and was a bit of a wild child/woman!

If I’d ended up marrying the above man I wouldn’t have told him but equally if his friend had told him I’d either deny or lie. But I wasn’t in a relationship with either then so didn’t really do anything wrong…

I have been on tame life drawing hen nights too!

I kinda believed it until the 'sent him a text' update 🤣

Any minute now...

This is such a great thread.

It's blatantly made up.

@Lostsoul0307 - how many hens were there?
How many licked the stripper's penis?
Did the bride to be do it?

Have you even considered you will all be at the same wedding fairly shortly, probably drunk and this could come out and a lot of partners could find out?

What did you say in your message to dh?

Fwiw my dh would 100% consider what you did cheating and our marriage would be over

Why should we treat OP any different just because she's a woman?

Well...

Honestly wtf, who gets so horny over a stripper? 😂 I feel sorry for him and your DH.

Imagine watching OP suck off this bloke for 3-4 minutes, i'd want a refund. 😂

He's meant to strip, not get molested by Mrs 'I can't help it, so horny'

😂

This place is batshit sometimes. She had another man's dick in her mouth. In what parallel universe is that not cheating?

And canned whipped cream is fuuuuuuuullllll of sugar. Do you not care about your teeth, OP?

We’ve lost sight of what a normal hen party is.

You've sucked off a man in full view of everyone even if it was only a couple of sucks.

Yeah that was pretty disgusting and if it was the other way round and my husband licked cream off a woman's flappy bits in front of his mates I would be well shot of him.

However I don't think telling your husband is a good idea if you are avowed never to get so drunk again and engage in wanton acts.

If others mention it unless their is video or photographic evidence, I would play it down and it's your word against others.

Don't ever go and see a male stripper again. I say stripper but if he's allowing strangers to suck him off then he's actually a sex worker.

You'll just have to be straight up with your husband and say you thought it would be fun to suck someone else's cock for a few minutes.

I'm sure you wouldn't be okay with him licking someone else's fanny on a night out.

Hitting all the mum'snet double standards bingo here... If this was a man he would be absolutely vilified, called every name under the sun and told he was a terrible person for not coming clean to his wife. Why should we treat OP any different just because she's a woman?

OP you did cheat, I don't think I could live with not telling DH if I were you. I'd also get checked out for oral STIs as well