I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

My thoughts exactly! The mental gymnastics here are impressive.

Would you be angry if he did this? Would you be upset if he didn't tell you and kept plodding along as normal? He has a right to know something like this, whether the relationship continues in light of this behaviour is rightfully up to him, not you. You didn't stop being in a relationship just because you were on a hen night. Unless you had an explicit prior agreement that this behaviour was acceptable in your relationship, you have crossed a boundary, whether you call it cheating or not.

There was a post a couple of weeks ago about a chap going to a strip club on a stag do (which he openly told his partner about) she said he'd cheated by even going, and a very high percentage agreed it was cheating just to attend a strip club with mates on a stag do and were advising her to LTB, which I thought was ridiculous.

I'm now wondering if SO many women consider that as cheating, because they would be lining up to nosh off a male stripper given the same opportunity? So they think men must be doing the same?

I was vehemently told on the thread that male strippers 'aren't a thing' 'nobody has male strippers anymore' etc etc. which of course is bullshit, but I'm actually amazed that this goes on during hen do's! It's fucking grim.

Gummy gobbles, did she get a full house?

Are you not a MNer @PookieHook?

"Man"? 😂

Yes this is an awful thing to do and if my partner did it I would be very angry and upset but I don’t class this as cheating. Personally I would not tell him unless I knew he would find out!

„saw this once at the bingo, Enid took her teeth out and went to town on him…“

I used to date a male stripper - this would of happened on practically every job if they allowed it to, some men did, others didn’t.
To all those disbelieving - this is very normal in the male stripping world! They also get unwanted sexual advances all the time including being groped, it’s known in the industry that male strippers are groped far more than women, who are protected from it.

I personally wouldn’t tell my partner the whole hog, but I would say I get guilty for even partaking, as that’s now a line I wouldn’t even cross. I’d say I went under the flag, did have a lick and stopped. He doesn’t need to know the full thing.
I also get the aroused thing - if people didn’t get aroused why would there even be strippers??!!
Just learn from it OP, I’m sure everything will be fine, and despite what some of these other mumsnetters say, you’re perfectly normal!

I can’t get over people coming forward saying they’ve seen similar

"Slags" - you stupid, stupid man

On my own planet well away from twats as much as I possibly can actually 😅😅😈 put up with that sort of shit for way way too long.

Squirty cream strippers were all the rage when my mum was young. She ended up with one pink eye when she got slapped in the face by a flapping peen at a hen do. I fondly remember those days. She always brought me home those little cocktail plastic animal things and umbrellas and candy penises.

Blimey.

I thought that was how one got rid of a skin tag.

Hope the poor penis doesn't fall off too.

Yep, I agree. Clearly enjoying the responses a bit too much and no longer "please believe me when I say I feel terrible"

So many MNers are going to be put right off the lettuce leaf they sniff for their lunch today

Tell your DH you got a drunk , acted the bollix, pretended to give the stripper a blow job and you are mortified and wanted to tell him before anyone else did. End of. So that if anyone says anything to him he can just shrug and say that yeah , he heard it was pretty wild , make a joke . Hope he will accept your explanation and your true remorse.

I would not view what you did as being unfaithful, more like you made a drunken mistake and acted badly.

So true. We need to know whether OP was dealing with a flagpole or a mast.

😂

<insert joke about seamen>

I don't actually need that explaining, but cheers anyway

I always thought it was viagra.

I remember reading an article about the advancement of science had made some people redundant from jobs.
One example was fluffers are no longer needed on porn sets because of viagra.

Lots of fluffers are now unemployed, they dont have transferable skill set 😁

OP, I honestly feel that someone who cheats and then shows remorse and comes clean about it is a far better person than those who encourage cheaters not to come clean with lame excuses such as "you're only being honest to make yourself feel better" and "it will only hurt him so don't bother telling him". Truly ridiculous (and I suspect self-serving...) logic there. Please ignore such advice.

I can't pretend that I would forgive my partner for this (though there is extra ethical layer when it's a female stripper imo which I would be unable to get past). But I would at least respect that fact that he was honest.

I don’t know if this thread is making anyone else want to heave. The rando body fluids, the whipped cream, the STDs - it’s stomach churning.

What a misogynistic comment.

Nothing about the guy wanting 20 women to do it. And I'm guessing if it was the other way about, the one woman would still be 'the slag'.

This is hilarious...haven't laughed so much in ages. Comments are priceless

Never said I was classy!

It’s amazing the pearl clutching and gasps that go on here and you’d think some women had never seen a man’s naked penis before!

@PrinnyPaupersPurse - was this in France because I don’t think I’ve heard of English or any other countries equivalents being called truck stops but have heard that in France. Very boring rural SW inland but near coast region.