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Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 03/07/2023 14:05

AccidentallySuckedTheStrippersDick · 03/07/2023 13:40

@isthismylifenow

"Blimey.

I thought that was how one got rid of a skin tag.

Hope the poor penis doesn't fall off too."

They actually have to be really careful, if a penis is engorged/text fit to king the blood can cut and cause a priapism where it doesn't drain. This can be very very serious and has to be drained with a needle the size of a bic pen 😱

I bet the OP crossed his legs just as much I did reading this.

(Although I don't have a penis to ever have to experience this, thank goodness)

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 14:05

I chickened out and told him something else that's much more low key - it might be wrong but what good can come of telling him

OP posts:
jolaylasofia · 03/07/2023 14:03

yes it's cheating and absolutely filthy and disgusting- sorry but you don't know where that's been if he's so free with it. however no good will come of telling your husband. live with your guilt no need to make him miserable over something that was 2-3 minutes.

Just vile

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 14:02

FloydPepper · 03/07/2023 13:56

There’s a sizeable proportion supporting the view that’s it’s either ok, or he doesn’t need to know.

whether that’s 50% or 10% it’s much higher than the virtually 0% who would support a man doing the same.

like I say, not one of those posters would state that view on a thread the other way round.

it doesn’t matter if this is real, it’s so easy to show hypocrisy

Show quote history

Nope, there are posters on here who defend men doing this stuff too. Very rarely are threads unanimous.

DirectionToPerfection · 03/07/2023 14:01

IloveJudgeJudy · 03/07/2023 13:33

Another one here saying DON’T tell him. What good would that do?

i absolutely have told DH if he has a ONS not to tell me otherwise I’d have to make a decision and he assuages his conscience.

Odd thing to say to your DH as you've basically given him a free pass to cheat.

eandz13 · 03/07/2023 14:00

PomegranateRose · 03/07/2023 13:38

Whether this is genuine or not, I am shocked how many people think it appropriate or "kinder" to never tell a partner about behaviour like this. The act itself reeks of disrespect and untrustworthiness, and taking away your partner's right to decide whether they want to remain in a relationship with someone who would act in that way is absolutely another level of disrespect in itself. You aren't being kind for not saying anything, you are making your own life easier and adding insult to injury with every passing day.

Totally agree with this!

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 14:00

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 13:57

There are plenty who think she hasn't done anything that bad and she shouldn't tell him.

Show quote history

Yes, and there are always posters who pop up to defend reprehensible male behaviour too. This week I've read two threads where posters have told women their husband's violence was provoked by their behaviour aka they were asking for it. So on any thread, you will have someone willing to stand up for the indefensible. This thread is no different (except it's a work of unconvincing fiction).

Oblomov23 · 03/07/2023 14:00

Is this for real? You sent a text?

DrManhattan · 03/07/2023 13:59

Happy Herpes

Get yourself checked out

Endlesssummer2022 · 03/07/2023 13:58

Nasty. Sharing some strangers cock with your mates. And yes Noshing is an old school word. At school, girls labelled ‘slappers’ were also called ‘shiners girls’ for giving out blowjobs.

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 13:57

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 13:49

Do you think the majority of posters here are supportive of the OP? They aren't and neither should they be. Most of us are firstly disbelieving, secondly disgusted.

Show quote history

There are plenty who think she hasn't done anything that bad and she shouldn't tell him.

Prettylittleroses · 03/07/2023 13:57

HollaHolla · 03/07/2023 13:47

Grim and tacky, but, only you will know what sort of response you will get from him. Would he consider this cheating, or would he think it's just hi-jinks?
If I were you, I'd stop getting so drunk, and being led into bad ways....

I would be very worried if I was her and he thought going down on a stripper was just high jinx 😂

FloydPepper · 03/07/2023 13:56

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 13:49

Do you think the majority of posters here are supportive of the OP? They aren't and neither should they be. Most of us are firstly disbelieving, secondly disgusted.

Show quote history

There’s a sizeable proportion supporting the view that’s it’s either ok, or he doesn’t need to know.

whether that’s 50% or 10% it’s much higher than the virtually 0% who would support a man doing the same.

like I say, not one of those posters would state that view on a thread the other way round.

it doesn’t matter if this is real, it’s so easy to show hypocrisy

MotherofGorgons · 03/07/2023 13:53

**Were a man

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 13:53

Wheredoistart78 · 03/07/2023 13:40

Of course you tell.

Jesus Christ, if someone's genitals had been in my partners mouth I'd want to know.

If you were a man posting, I can guarantee you would have received very different responses!

But this is mumsnet where men are annihilated and women are told to keep schtum. Same with their pay rises and bonuses.

Plenty of posters are saying this behaviour is wrong, constitutes infidelity and that she should tell him. You're badly misrepresenting the thread - it's by no means unanimous.

MotherofGorgons · 03/07/2023 13:53

Whiskeypowers · 03/07/2023 13:45

If this was a man who’d performed fellatio on a lap dancer / stripper there would be 18 pages of LTB

If this was a man, I would believe him.
As it stands...not so much.

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 13:49

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 13:47

Yes, but the sisterhood! When men cheat, they are the scum of the earth. But when women cheat, they are our sisters and we must support them. Or some shit like that.

Do you think the majority of posters here are supportive of the OP? They aren't and neither should they be. Most of us are firstly disbelieving, secondly disgusted.

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 13:47

Yes, but the sisterhood! When men cheat, they are the scum of the earth. But when women cheat, they are our sisters and we must support them. Or some shit like that.

HollaHolla · 03/07/2023 13:47

Grim and tacky, but, only you will know what sort of response you will get from him. Would he consider this cheating, or would he think it's just hi-jinks?
If I were you, I'd stop getting so drunk, and being led into bad ways....

sandyhappypeople · 03/07/2023 13:47

Whiskeypowers · 03/07/2023 13:45

If this was a man who’d performed fellatio on a lap dancer / stripper there would be 18 pages of LTB

I don't think a man would DARE put that on here!

Whiskeypowers · 03/07/2023 13:45

If this was a man who’d performed fellatio on a lap dancer / stripper there would be 18 pages of LTB

WoofWoofBeachLife · 03/07/2023 13:41

BamBamBambi · 03/07/2023 12:38

I’m sure a stripper washed their knob before doing a strip show and adding cream 😂😂

Show quote history

Washing wouldn't get rid of all unsavoury bits 🤣🤣

Wheredoistart78 · 03/07/2023 13:40

Of course you tell.

Jesus Christ, if someone's genitals had been in my partners mouth I'd want to know.

If you were a man posting, I can guarantee you would have received very different responses!

But this is mumsnet where men are annihilated and women are told to keep schtum. Same with their pay rises and bonuses.

AccidentallySuckedTheStrippersDick · 03/07/2023 13:40

@isthismylifenow

"Blimey.

I thought that was how one got rid of a skin tag.

Hope the poor penis doesn't fall off too."

They actually have to be really careful, if a penis is engorged/text fit to king the blood can cut and cause a priapism where it doesn't drain. This can be very very serious and has to be drained with a needle the size of a bic pen 😱

Stripperyone · 03/07/2023 13:39

Okay. 1, I don't think this is real either. OP has laboured the points a little too much. Male stripper and female stripper are two very different things. Female strippers, private dances, one on one, male stripper, hen dos, parties, group entertainment-both are actual jobs of course, but they're different ones. This stripper would have been hired from an agency and there will be rules as to what he can and can't do, surely he doesn't want to be catching bacterial infections and oral herpes from random women whose background he has no idea about?

2 I don't understand the dynamics of being behind a flag either, how does that work?

3 To those who say 'extras' don't happen in strip clubs with females, they absolutely do, and I've worked in them for 20 years. Not all strippers do them of course, but they're to be found in many clubs to various extents.

4 this advertisement 'popping up'(see what I did there) on this thread greatly amused me.

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH