Page 17 | I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

Lostsoul0307 · 2023-07-03T10:48:58+00:00

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible. I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should. I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

Beneficialchampion2 · 03/07/2023 16:20

If the sexes were reversed there would be an outrage on here.

Oh it's ok I only put the tip in...

Mumsnet is a sexist cesspit of hypocrisy.

You cheated whether you like it or not, live with the guilt forever and the paranoia he may find out through another person or come clean. Only you can make that decision.

Libelula21 · 03/07/2023 16:18

Juanmartinez · 03/07/2023 16:07

A difficult situation was sprung on you.
Everyone would have been so drunk no one would have noticed how long you were behind the flag

How was it sprung on her , it's not as if she was standing minding her own business and his penis just fell into her mouth.
And I don't believe for one minute it went unnoticed.

By the sounds of it she was not expecting a stripper to be there. If you’re plied with alcohol all day, perhaps not enough to eat, and surrounded by other raucous women, things can easily develop into a situation you’d have chosen to avoid if you’d had prior notice.

Bookworm20 · 03/07/2023 16:16

A difficult situation was sprung on you.

Hmmmm. Unless he walked up to OP, held her nose until she opened her mouth and then popped it in, I really don't see how the situation was sprung on her. Or difficult.

In all my years I have managed to avoid whipped cream covered cocks falling into my mouth.
Perhaps I've just been lucky and haven't had such difficult situations like this sprung on me.

whumpthereitis · 03/07/2023 16:15

By the sounds of it, it’s unlikely that OP was the only one that woke up mortified this morning. It is quite possible that she also isn’t the only one that has a vested interest in keeping her mouth, erm, shut. Plus it sounds like everyone was quite drunk. If no one actually saw her, and there’s no video or photographic evidence, then she can easily just deny, deny, deny if it does ever get spoken about.

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 03/07/2023 16:13

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 14:44

Honestly I'm not sure but there is enough support for me to keep quiet and deal with my internal guilt and shame

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He deserves to know the mouth he kisses has been noshing off a grubby penis. You’re so wrong.

PrideNails · 03/07/2023 16:13

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 14:44

Honestly I'm not sure but there is enough support for me to keep quiet and deal with my internal guilt and shame

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I'm sorry but you should tell him. He deserves the truth and your relationship deserves honesty and transparency. Trust me, it will be a whole lot worse if he somehow finds out down the road.

CaptainSeven · 03/07/2023 16:11

@Nordicrain both of us were very drunk.

I went to give a granny type kiss on the cheeks. You know where you purse your lips together?

Anyway he turned his head so that turned into a lip to lip kiss

Then I was so drunk I don't remember what happened next but I do remember pushing him away saying I need to catch a train to get home to my DH!

He was also so drunk he doesn't remember how it started.

It didn't last long (as I was rushing for the train)

For me honesty was the best policy and I drunkenly explained it to my DH as soon as I saw him.

Incidentally when I was about 8 in primary school playing kiss,cuddle, torture I went to kiss the boy I'd caught on the cheek and he DID THE SAME THING! Turned his head so was a lip smack kiss rather than a cheek kiss.

Juanmartinez · 03/07/2023 16:07

A difficult situation was sprung on you.
Everyone would have been so drunk no one would have noticed how long you were behind the flag

How was it sprung on her , it's not as if she was standing minding her own business and his penis just fell into her mouth.
And I don't believe for one minute it went unnoticed.

ShirleyPhallus · 03/07/2023 16:05

Nordicrain · 03/07/2023 16:03

How does a cheek kiss turn into a snog? Unless you were crying to open mouth lick his cheek?

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Yeah this seems like an absolutely case of chinny reckon to me too

MyTruthIsOut · 03/07/2023 16:03

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 14:43

Tempted to text my DP and ask if he'd rather I a) suck a already well moistened strippers cock for 3-4 minutes, or b) scratch the car.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

We should all do it 😂

Nordicrain · 03/07/2023 16:03

CaptainSeven · 03/07/2023 15:57

Once I was at a colleagues leaving party. We were all very drunk. I was leaving to catch a train home (he was leaving too). I went to kiss him on the cheek but it turned into a snog.

He moved his head at the wrong moment. He didn't mean it.

I confessed to my DH as soon as I saw him. That was 6 years ago.

Thankfully DH found it funny.

This isn't funny. I think you should still tell your DH.

Hopefully you'll be able to find a way to move on together.

How does a cheek kiss turn into a snog? Unless you were crying to open mouth lick his cheek?

Stripperyone · 03/07/2023 16:01

brunettemic · 03/07/2023 15:46

It’s really not that difficult:
“Shall I put this cock, that doesn’t belong to my DH, in my mouth?”

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😆😆😆

This, and the 'prong' comment have me laughing so hard!

whumpthereitis · 03/07/2023 15:59

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 03/07/2023 15:49

No advice to give the OP, sorry!

But this kind of thing definitely happens because I went to a charity ladies night and there were strippers there, also with big flags and whipped cream getting volunteers to wank and/or suck. My next door neighbour sucked a dick and a few months later when we were having a cuppa she screamed at the TV cos she the stripper was on it. It was Chico from X Factor. 😂

‘It was Chico from X Factor’

😂😭💀

Tried to stop myself laughing and ended up honking instead. Fucking excellent.

CaptainSeven · 03/07/2023 15:57

Once I was at a colleagues leaving party. We were all very drunk. I was leaving to catch a train home (he was leaving too). I went to kiss him on the cheek but it turned into a snog.

He moved his head at the wrong moment. He didn't mean it.

I confessed to my DH as soon as I saw him. That was 6 years ago.

Thankfully DH found it funny.

This isn't funny. I think you should still tell your DH.

Hopefully you'll be able to find a way to move on together.

JudgeAnderson · 03/07/2023 15:51

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow Well spotted!

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 03/07/2023 15:49

No advice to give the OP, sorry!

But this kind of thing definitely happens because I went to a charity ladies night and there were strippers there, also with big flags and whipped cream getting volunteers to wank and/or suck. My next door neighbour sucked a dick and a few months later when we were having a cuppa she screamed at the TV cos she the stripper was on it. It was Chico from X Factor. 😂

Prettylittleroses · 03/07/2023 15:48

ShirleyPhallus · 03/07/2023 14:17

This is such a bizarrely specific line of questioning

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That’s what I thought, it reads like Can I have some Pervy details please <shudders>

brunettemic · 03/07/2023 15:46

Libelula21 · 03/07/2023 15:36

A difficult situation was sprung on you.
Everyone would have been so drunk no one would have noticed how long you were behind the flag.
Deal with the guilt, move on, and don’t dwell on. Stupid to let too much alcohol harm your relationship, you had no unfaithful intent.
Sounds like quite a tacky hen though, but on the other hand I’m an overly repressed person!

It’s really not that difficult:
“Shall I put this cock, that doesn’t belong to my DH, in my mouth?”

Libelula21 · 03/07/2023 15:38

Bookworm20 · 03/07/2023 15:22

I chickened out and told him something else that's much more low key - it might be wrong but what good can come of telling him

I don't know. Maybe the fact you'll save him the embarrassement of hearing down the local pub, or on a night out in a years time when you bump into some of the other women who were there, or he stumbles across a social media post about the evening. He'll hear about it at some point.

Also maybe so you can give the bloke an actual choice of whether he would want to stay with someone who can happily suck another blokes cock when she gets a bit tipsy?

By not telling him you are being incredibly selfish. You are basically saving your own skin and not thinking about whats best for him at all. Only whats best for you. All that bollocks about not wanting to hurt him. Nope, its about not wanting to own up to the massive huge fuck up mess you've managed to put yourself in.

If you had any respect for your partner and any sort of remorse you'd just tell him what happened, beg his forgiveness and start doing what you can to make amends. Not add lying to the list, the cheating is bad enough. Think about it OP. You'll end up getting yourself into why more of a mess than you already are, and may end up eventually telling him because your guilt is too much, by which point it'll be far worse.

If he can't forgive you, then that's up to him. That's not your choice to make really now is it?

Strong disagree.

Crumpleton · 03/07/2023 15:36

If this thread is real, which I'm beginning to doubt, then you should be even more ashamed of yourself

Highly doubt it is real...
But if it is, and no proof needed from reading some of these replies, I think its not only the OP that feels no shame in giving a complete stranger oral sex.

As I asked OP earlier, and same applies to others that say "don't tell", there'll be no complaints if their own DH/DP's done the same thing to a woman and they omitted to tell them.

Libelula21 · 03/07/2023 15:36

A difficult situation was sprung on you.
Everyone would have been so drunk no one would have noticed how long you were behind the flag.
Deal with the guilt, move on, and don’t dwell on. Stupid to let too much alcohol harm your relationship, you had no unfaithful intent.
Sounds like quite a tacky hen though, but on the other hand I’m an overly repressed person!

TruJay · 03/07/2023 15:33

Ooh I wonder if this is the hen do my friend has just been on, she messaged and said she’d never seen so many women be unfaithful to their partners in one weekend!

Naunet · 03/07/2023 15:30

FloydPepper · 03/07/2023 15:26

They are very very small in number, vanishingly small when the man has done something like this.

and they get roundly disagreed with

im amazed anyone can’t see how this thread is a clear indication of how skewed mumsnet is!

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Oh who cares? Seriously, the whole world is skewed against women, pretty much every other forum is, so does it really matter? Men aren’t going to suddenly be oppressed because of mumsnet.

FloydPepper · 03/07/2023 15:27

astarsheis · 03/07/2023 15:18

You've made the right decision. No good would come of it...and I would have told a bloke the same.
But if it turned you on then you might want to bring a few fantasies in to your bedroom.

Bollocks would you

FloydPepper · 03/07/2023 15:26

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 14:02

Nope, there are posters on here who defend men doing this stuff too. Very rarely are threads unanimous.

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They are very very small in number, vanishingly small when the man has done something like this.

and they get roundly disagreed with

im amazed anyone can’t see how this thread is a clear indication of how skewed mumsnet is!