Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
MissingMoominMamma · 03/07/2023 21:59

Are you this woman??

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH
Mayorquimby2 · 03/07/2023 21:58

I love the "your punishment is carrying the guilt" justification that always pop up on these threads when women have been cheating.

TheoTheopolis23 · 03/07/2023 21:58

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/07/2023 12:01

Really ? Usually if a man gets to close to a stripper a very burly man turns up and throws him out. Unlikely he’ll be fingering and licking a stripper’s ladyparts without paying way more or getting in trouble

Show quote history

Not always.

I know of a wedding that didn't go ahead because the groom to be went down in the stripper (front and back, as someone out it) in front of his father in law to be. He was drunk and high, obviously.

All clubs, venues, strippers etc are different. Both in the UK and Ireland and abroad.

A guy I know who attended a stag do in Ireland with immigrant strippers told me a member of the group fucked the stripper in front of the group - they hired her out to a hotel or something. There are strippers who are really prostitutes too.

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 21:58

Rosietheravisher · 03/07/2023 21:05

@ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch I just noticed that you called out the bullshit before I did. This thread is very funny but op’s post is made up.

It's kind of funny but the predictable eagerness with which the misogynist posters have leapt on it is also depressing.

DrSbaitso · 03/07/2023 21:58

DerekFaker · 03/07/2023 21:55

I can't tell if they're gullible or also pervy men.

Show quote history

Well, if OP isn't actually a perv, the thread is certainly bringing all the pervs to the yard.

DerekFaker · 03/07/2023 21:55

DrSbaitso · 03/07/2023 13:03

Please, everyone, stop sharing your own experiences. This is about OP's situation and I'm sure OP really, really doesn't want to hear about all the casual blowjobs you've given. Not in the slightest. Not at all. Nuh uh.

I can't tell if they're gullible or also pervy men.

Gytgyt · 03/07/2023 21:55

@adviceneeded1990 it was my dad years that told my mum that so true though. I can believe it and I'm not surprised she knew all along. Its easy to get caught up in MN we all do it. I notice there are a lot of people quick to say leave him but woiod they though? Would they hell.

@GirloutofAfrica exactly!

Nepmarthiturn · 03/07/2023 21:54

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 12:14

Jesus fucking Christ.

If my partner put his tongue on anyone else's vagina for 3-4 seconds I would lose my fucking mind and he would be out of here, let alone 3-4 minutes.

You have cheated OP. You have to tell him.

Also, get yourself some new friends whilst you are at it. I cannot believe a group of grown women took it in turns to go behind a flag and lick cream off of a strippers penis. Grim.

Let's just hope he used a portable penis beaker in between. 🤣

DrSbaitso · 03/07/2023 21:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I was really hoping for a smarter answer than this. But don't worry, BigTitsMcStuffin. I'm sure I'm not the first woman you've disappointed.

Deathbyfluffy · 03/07/2023 21:52

Stratocumulus · 03/07/2023 11:56

Do not tell him.
What happens at a Hen Party stays at the hen party.
What good will it do to tell him? Assuage your guilt? I don’t think so.

It will just open a can of worms you can do without.
Stop thinking about it and keep busy. Time will dull the memory and probably give you more perspective.

What an awful way to go about life - if a bloke posted he’d licked out a stripper on a stag do he’d get annihilated on here.

It’s still cheating; he has a right to know.
You can’t just put a bloke’s bits in your mouth and it be okay because of his job.

Neilsfavouritechilli · 03/07/2023 21:50

I vote no to classics, this really isn't what classics should be about! I also doubt the OP would appreciate this being kept forever for us to laugh at.

ShirleyPhallus · 03/07/2023 21:47

Rolloisthebestpony · 03/07/2023 21:13

Shocked people think this is ok . I definitely wouldn’t be ok with DH spending 3/4 minutes licking a stripper’s vulva

Vulva.

must be mn bingo full card now?

BigTitsMcStuffin · 03/07/2023 21:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BlueLiquid · 03/07/2023 21:37

Well OP, have you told your husband about the cream horn yet?

Tunnocks34 · 03/07/2023 21:35

Is it cheating? (in my opinion)…absolutely. I find the thought of sucking a stripper of vile tbh, BUT, if I was in this situation, o wouldn’t tell my husband.

I would give up drinking however, because honestly, if you can get a bit tipsy and suck a strippers dick then perhaps alcohol isn’t your friend.

SingingNettles · 03/07/2023 21:31

MissingMoominMamma · 03/07/2023 21:27

It’s not cheating unless you slip a cheeky finger up his bum hole at the same time…

But seriously, sucking the same knob as your mates? Think of the germs!!

Have we learned nothing from Covid?!

Diorinthecountryy · 03/07/2023 21:30

Agree this thread should definitely be in classics. I haven't laughed so much on here for ages.

MissingMoominMamma · 03/07/2023 21:27

It’s not cheating unless you slip a cheeky finger up his bum hole at the same time…

But seriously, sucking the same knob as your mates? Think of the germs!!

BrimFullOfAsher · 03/07/2023 21:23

Can I nominate this for classics?

Glitterblue · 03/07/2023 21:18

Conkersinautumn · 03/07/2023 12:01

You've the moral compass of an alleycat. Your dh deserves someone with honesty but that's looking that it's not you. If you told someone, it will come out. Because you gave a stripper a blow job in a crowd of people. Class act he married there

This.

Twillow · 03/07/2023 21:17

100% keep it to yourself. How would you feel in reverse - you'd lose confidence in yourself and trust in him I expect. Your guilt is enough and it's highly unlikely to happen again I would think?

GirloutofAfrica · 03/07/2023 21:14

Let your guilt be your punishment

Rolloisthebestpony · 03/07/2023 21:13

Shocked people think this is ok . I definitely wouldn’t be ok with DH spending 3/4 minutes licking a stripper’s vulva

DrSbaitso · 03/07/2023 21:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

What do you think, BigTitsMcStuffin?

adviceneeded1990 · 03/07/2023 21:10

Gytgyt · 03/07/2023 20:46

I'm not debating with you. Most people don't leave over something like this. In fact those that shout the loudest....

Many give advise about leaving but when it's their turning they are not leaving. 😳

Show quote history

100%! I worked with a woman like this. You said he’d forgotten to pick his socks up off the floor and she was all “oh you’ve got to leave him.”

Her DH was sleeping with half the work place, with her knowledge, very much without her consent. All came out years later when she accosted one of the many other women and was asked why she hadn’t left or given an equal screaming row to her husband. Reply was along the lines of he’s got a high earning job and she likes the lifestyle.

Very different behaviour to the advice given to others. And very much like many on here I suspect!