Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 04/07/2023 09:44

Classics is supposed to be for quirky or genuinely funny stuff.

Peachtoiletpaper · 04/07/2023 09:34

BrimFullOfAsher · 03/07/2023 21:23

Can I nominate this for classics?

I think that's what the OP would love. She's latched onto comments saying no big deal/ see the funny side/ hens on tour harder than a tick

YoungerDryas · 04/07/2023 09:23

DrSbaitso · 04/07/2023 09:05

I don’t know why OP has bothered to post here.

I think I do.

To create a rallying point for nostalgic penis beaker/snapped and farted members. 🥱

QuizzlyBear · 04/07/2023 09:23

JFC, that's a squalid night out. Get some friends with a bit of class. Fucking whipped cream, cocks, other people's saliva and performative sex acts? 🤢 🤮

Wherearemymarbles · 04/07/2023 09:19

If you’re still reading this op how many of the other women have partners?
all it takes is one to decide to tell their partner through guilt, say I wasnt the only one etc and then its out.

DrSbaitso · 04/07/2023 09:05

I don’t know why OP has bothered to post here.

I think I do.

Rudicoolcat · 04/07/2023 09:05

CharityJane · 03/07/2023 14:24

Just tell him it was an accident - you tripped over the end of the flag and as you fell forward you opened your mouth to cry out in fear but inadvertently landed on a cream-covered knob. We’ve all done it.

🤣

veryfluffyfluff · 04/07/2023 09:00

JazbayGrapes · 04/07/2023 08:37

I just threw up in my mouth a little. Gross! How drunk were you?

Did you really?

veryfluffyfluff · 04/07/2023 09:00

putthatdownsteve · 04/07/2023 08:32

Oh it’s okay, she didn’t. She told him she’d scratched the car by text instead. Which makes it all okay. Weirdly.

Show quote history

Ah yes missed that.

Why would you make a fuss about scratching his car OP? Now you've made it worse when you do tell him. Which you must do.

Quiverer · 04/07/2023 08:57

JazbayGrapes · 04/07/2023 08:37

I just threw up in my mouth a little. Gross! How drunk were you?

No, you didn't.

Blossomtoes · 04/07/2023 08:40

JazbayGrapes · 04/07/2023 08:37

I just threw up in my mouth a little. Gross! How drunk were you?

Where else were you going to throw up? Through your eyes? 🙄

Prettylittleroses · 04/07/2023 08:40

It’s like something some pervy bloke would write, he has a six pack, a large cock and broad shoulders, I couldn’t help myself and just had to suck him off.

aye.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 04/07/2023 08:39

I don’t know why OP has bothered to post here.

She has a few options but unless there’s serious problems in her marriage she’ll probably stay and never mention this again.

If it were me and I was in an otherwise happy marriage then I wouldn’t tell.

Drink issues and noshing on a stranger’s knob for longer than usual well she could discuss both with her DH and he either chooses to forgive and forget or doesn’t. As I said before I’d worry it’d slip
out at some point in future.

It’s being unfaithful but it’s not like OP decided to go out, shag a random man and then feel guilty. What would she say if he told her he’d done this to a woman stripper? Has she done this before? Has she suspected her DH has been unfaithful before?

Relate are supposed to be good for this sort of issue.

JazbayGrapes · 04/07/2023 08:37

I just threw up in my mouth a little. Gross! How drunk were you?

putthatdownsteve · 04/07/2023 08:32

veryfluffyfluff · 04/07/2023 08:23

You don't tell someone this by text.

Sort yourself out and pack your bags ready to leave.

Oh it’s okay, she didn’t. She told him she’d scratched the car by text instead. Which makes it all okay. Weirdly.

veryfluffyfluff · 04/07/2023 08:23

You don't tell someone this by text.

Sort yourself out and pack your bags ready to leave.

Butchyrestingface · 04/07/2023 08:11

Aye right, hen.

StrawberryWater · 04/07/2023 08:06

Ewww rancid stripper cock. You suck op. Literally and figuratively.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 04/07/2023 08:06

Beachbreak2411 · 04/07/2023 07:34

I can’t stop thinking about this. I hope its fake. If not it’s absolutely disgusting. Im no prude but noshing off a random guy in front of friends who’ve also done it- gross. Your poor husband. How can you kiss him or touch him with hands and mouth that have shared the same random man

I’m sure it’s not fake! Otherwise would’ve been deleted by now.

I didn’t put in my original answer but I’ve heard of tales of not dissimilar things happening in DM’s and her own DM’s time, obviously drink fuelled. One of my friends who’s East end and parents part Italian, Irish were quite open about their sex lives, not sure about cheating though!

The cheating aspect is gross, OP is a bit gross for doing it but I’ve certainly heard of it happening when I was a teen (80s) when hen parties were a thing and later. Not everyone does this trick but if you get a few women in a room with drink, alcohol and a naked man then almost always one offers to go the extra mile (or inch in this case!).

My DB once told me almost every man he knows has cheated. I wouldn’t go that far but there’s certainly man code so what happens on a stag if it’s involves drink etc will stay on that stag. Maybe a watered down version will come out like “we paid for strippers, single Dave had a private dance etc”.

The worrying thing as I said re OP is you never know who might tell on her be it maliciously, by mistake (just slipped out), Chinese whispers etc. And if the friendship group involves fallouts much more scope for this to happen. Let’s hope there’s no video evidence but if I were OP’s DH the testimonies of 19 other women saying OP was behind a Union Jack flag for 3-4 mins with the stripper then I’d prob believe them not her.

putthatdownsteve · 04/07/2023 07:57

TinyBarista · 04/07/2023 07:48

"And that kids, is how I met your father."

And no one in the Smith family could ever eat whipped cream with their apple pie, ever again 🙁

TinyBarista · 04/07/2023 07:48

"And that kids, is how I met your father."

DrSbaitso · 04/07/2023 07:47

Nadsx · 04/07/2023 07:43

Sorry.

This thread is bonkers, though. I am surprised it is still, er, up.

Show quote history

I know, I'm surprised too.

Nadsx · 04/07/2023 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sorry.

This thread is bonkers, though. I am surprised it is still, er, up.

SallyWD · 04/07/2023 07:39

OhForFucksFuckingSake · 03/07/2023 22:51

Also I think the 'double standards' bleating is really thick. It's a totally false equivalence.

A man giving a female stripper oral sex is a completely different context in terms of power dynamics, exploitation, misogyny and men's entitlement to buy access to women's bodies for their own gratification.

Yes a male stripper is there because you're paying him. But if he is sticking his erect penis in your face and telling you to lick cream off it, that is still a really uncomfortable power dynamic.

Erm you know female strippers also stick their body parts in the face of men and demand they lick cream off?
Your comment is ridiculous.

Beachbreak2411 · 04/07/2023 07:34

I can’t stop thinking about this. I hope its fake. If not it’s absolutely disgusting. Im no prude but noshing off a random guy in front of friends who’ve also done it- gross. Your poor husband. How can you kiss him or touch him with hands and mouth that have shared the same random man

Swipe left for the next trending thread