Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How long after having baby did you and DP have sex?

105 replies

Soundbathfan · 30/06/2023 23:08

Just wondering! My sex drive isn't great at the best of times but hoping it won't disappear entirely after having our first baby!

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 30/06/2023 23:29

The advice is to wait until after your six week check. It's better for your body if you give it time to heal and don't risk another pregnancy so soon. I think I waited around eight weeks. Although if course you don't have to have full sex, but it should be on your terms for the following months after birth.

NameChange245 · 30/06/2023 23:22

11 years and counting ....

Mangogogogo · 30/06/2023 23:21

It varies even with one person! I had my son with my ex and we didn’t sleep together for a long time. I had a stressful pregnancy and then my hips fell out of place, I was a new mum as a teenager and sex was just the last thing on my mind, I was recovering from everything! (And also I just didn’t really like my ex😬)
my second I had a fast, straightforward birth, no stitches no grazes, bled for 2 weeks and cracked on as normal.
neither is wrong or right, it’s just the way it is. You might have a straightforward birth and a baby that sleeps like a dream and have lots of free time and sleep, or you could have an awful birth and a baby that doesn’t sleep for love nor money and spend your free time just trying not to slip into a coma. And unfortunately there’s no way to tell.

either way I really really hope your partner isn’t putting any kind of pressure on you. Even mentioning it to you at this stage in your pregnancy is inappropriate

WineIsMyMainVice · 30/06/2023 23:16

It massively varies (from what I know talking to friends over the years)!
You just need to do what is right for you at the time….

Leafytrees · 30/06/2023 23:14

It will vary person to person, and often depends on how delivery goes. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be back to normal straight away. Having a baby and then looking after one 24/7 is exhausting. Sex will likely be the last thing on your mind once the baby arrives. You'll need to focus on your own physical and mental health, plus getting to know your baby.