Neighbours shouting and swearing at children every morning

Mine are 7 and 11 and after 25 ish times of relatively calm 'please get your shoes on/teeth cleaned/bag on back' etc, more often than not it needs some 'bloody get on with it' shouting to actually get them to move.

I think you need to make a sensible judgement call here on wether it's a fairly normal stressful morning scenario or more than that.
I'd agree with this.

Swearing around children isn't ideal, but it's different to swearing at children.

Unless I had other concerns I'd probably not be overly concerned hearing an exasperated "can we all get out the fucking house" now and then. If they're using "fucking" to intensify an insult to the children and are being verbally abusive then I'd report my concerns as neutral facts.

Personally I think there's a difference between using a swear word as an adjective or verb (Why are you putting your shoes on the fucking dog's feet instead of your own? Bugger, the cat's just shat on your sister's homework!) which is not great when kids are too young to know not to repeat it at school, but they are just words

And using swear words towards a person as a noun. (Oi knobheadtwatface put your shoes on) Just intended to hurt, humiliate, denigrate.

One point that’s reassuring though - you mention that the kid is shouting back. This implies that the kids isn’t feeling scared / threatened by the parent; that they feel secure and comfortable enough to express their anger/frustration and ‘hold their own’.

To me it sounds like they may just be a loud and expressive family. Not all families believe that it is harmful or negative to shout or verbally vent anger and frustration with each other. Both me and my partner were raised in noisy, expressive working class families where this was the norm yet both were living, warm families. Some of us just don’t do repression or shy away from conflict 🫤

I would anonymously report it to social services. Treating children like that is damaging

I wouldn't call that swearing at the children, it's swearing in front of them.

Swearing at is something like "You fucking cunt" - it is (usually) an insult directed at them. What you're describing is just swearing for emphasis to stress the importance of their request they are making.

I'm trying to think what the R word is though.

I presume it's a bit like 'regard'.

We're all human, but I hate so much hearing parents whose default is to scream constantly at their kids. I do think it's very much abusive. What do you even have left on the odd occasion when you may need to shout, if they're being particularly obstinate? As for swearing at them, that's appalling.

This.

Shouting can be shouting up the stairs, or shouting in someone's face.

Swearing can be 'fucking hell we're going to be late again' or 'you're a fucking piece of shit'.

The op needs to think hard which it is, the right approach to one is different to the other.

This.

We are a “hurry up we are fucking late again” house.

not a “hurry up you fucking cunt you have made us late again” house.

We also shout a lot because my 7 year old takes nearly two hours to get ready to leave the house each day and we need to be out the door by 7:30.

"Swearing" like "for god's sake get your bloody shoes on" or "get your shoes on you fucking cunt"?

Holy fuck. That is truly terrible

I'm trying to think what the R word is though.

My neighbour regularly tells their child that they're a cunt or a r-word, you can bet I reported it via my safeguarding lead who contacted the safeguarding lead at the child's own school.

Behave yourself

I think it’s common for parents to have the odd morning of shouting at their children to get them to hurry up, perhaps not swearing though.
I have let rip a few times at my teenagers with the odd swear word but nothing they don’t hear on a daily basis at school and college.
Do you hear this at other times of the day op or is it just in the morning?

Ring the school and report it to their safeguarding lead. If there are no other concerns about the children then it will come to nothing but the report will be logged. If there are already concerns about the children (or concerns arise in future) then your report will add to that wider picture and help highlight an overall pattern of behaviour.

For the noise itself, contact environmental health at the council and make a noise complaint. You can do it anonymously, our local one sends out a letter saying that they have had complaints from other residents - the emphasis on the plural makes it hard to point s finger at exactly who complained - and that further complaints will result in investigative action and potential consequences.

Get noise cancelling headphones.

Consider asking NSPCC for a steer on whether what you are hearing is beyond normal family dynamics. Mornings involve a fair bit of raised voices in this house…but I rarely swear out loud at my kids….I’m reasonably frequently muttering FFS and FML

This made me laugh out loud. Aneurysm inducing teens here too!

I would ring their school to let them know. Ask for the head teacher or designated safe guarding lead (usually the head).

Mine are 7 and 11 and after 25 ish times of relatively calm 'please get your shoes on/teeth cleaned/bag on back' etc, more often than not it needs some 'bloody get on with it' shouting to actually get them to move.

I think you need to make a sensible judgement call here on wether it's a fairly normal stressful morning scenario or more than that.

My snap thought with these things is always ‘mind your own business’. Then I think of Alfie Steele and other children who were constantly screamed at and more was going on, and I think we just cannot do nothing anymore.

I definitely remember mornings like this when the kids were small. Leaving the house at 730 with 2 under 5s was... taxing... to say the least. I used to apologise to the neighbours for the noise. Don't think I ever swore, but I did used to get to work feeling like I'd done a day's work already. By 9 and 11, we were pretty much in a strict routine. Often scuppered by ds and his chaotic approach to life.

It's pretty disturbing that you think this.

Are…are you my neighbours 😬?

I have to be honest our mornings always end up with shouting and swearing, sometimes door slamming (from the 9 year old). We are loving parents the rest of the time though it’s just that the 9 year old is a monster until 8.50am.

I have school-aged teenage daughters and the mornings are honestly aneurysm inducing. However I still wouldn't carry on like that. not usually anyway

Please ring either social services or the school and asks to speak to the safeguarding lead.

the more you can add pieces of the puzzle the better chance the kids have of getting some support.

poor kids 😥