To be resentful/irritated when friends have lots of other friends?

I have a single friend who is out and about all the time - she maintains all her friendships because otherwise she would be sitting on her own every night. I a married, so have company every night - like you. I'm not jealous - if I was single I would do exactly the same as her!

Hilarious 😂 you want control over another person's social circle.

Ask yourself honestly do you see your friendships from a competitive angle? If so why? It's not typical to want to remove positive things from a friends life.

With friendships, I think you get out what you put in. As a single person without children, she probably has more time to invest in friendships

It's not v nice to realise that you regard simeone as an A list friend but they don't feel the same. But, sometimes, that's just how it is

Do you know this for a fact?

The only reason she has more friends is because she needs more friends as she’s single and childless and would probably get bored and lonely without them.
Personally I don’t think it should matter how many friends who have as an adult especially when you have children. It should be about quality not quantity.

So as you know this is totally your issue, the friend has done thing wrong, until others with their own issues tell you otherwise

Yup YABU - both with your OP and with this comment . Particularly the comment .

I think OP people are pickng up that you seem annoyed that she has stayed in contact with people from all phases of life. Actually, that shows that she is considerate, thoughtful and probably a great friend. Not to mention loyal. You are just thinking how it affects you though.

That’s not fair. Maybe she values each individual friend and doesn’t want to lose any of them? Doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you as well. I had a friend getting jealous when I saw other friends- why????

It’s good to have friends. She’s single so she has more time and being sociable can be a full time job.

Wow, definitely YABVU! I wouldn't like to be your friend 🤣

I don't think you come across well in this.

OP is it more to do with how she makes the friendship feel?

Like "oh I've made an effort with you because I've chosen to, I'm single and without commitment and would be doing a whole raft of other more interesting things, but look I've chosen this less-than-exciting-mid-week-dinner-because-I've-got-nothing-better-to-do" rather than it being a mutual appreciation type thing?

I think you aren't really taking into account her single status, she probably needs to plan a lot more in than you unless she is happy being on her own a lot. It sounds like she does value your friendship, but she has a lot of friends and that's right for her, try not to just enjoy the friendship for what it is.

This kind of feels like you think she should need you more as she's single, and you should be the married friend who needs her less, and you're annoyed that that isn't the case.

Yes, it does. Focus on the fact that she chooses to spend time with you. How on earth is that a bad thing?

Whaaaat? You’ve had so many good perspectives - at least I found them useful! Main takeaway seems to be ‘she is choosing to see you which is better than seeing you because you’re the only option’.

Unless that touched a nerve because she is one of YOUR only options?

I have 3 little kids and have really made the effort to widen my social circle this year, and it’s SO worth it. One thing leads to another and I’m so busy now and know lots of lovely interesting people and feel way more part of the community. You can do it op!

It's not her fault you don't have any friends. Try making some new ones then!

What a weird post. You want her to be so thankful to you as you mercifully spent time with her on her birthday but gets annoyed when you realise you are not the centre of her universe so now you don’t want to bother with her. Who needs enemies when they have friends like you.

Neither being married nor having kids makes maintaining friendships harder. She invests in people and therefore has more people in her life. Instead of comparing why not make an effort to get what you envy her having.

So we felt we’d done a nice thing to maintain intimacy on a weeknight, especially as she lives alone, but I realised again this person doesn’t “need” me or my friendship, not really.

This is a bit weird tbh.

Do you want her to 'need' you as she's single? Did you expect to pity her a bit because she lives alone - and then when you saw her completely happy and busy doing her thing, it put your nose out of joint?

This kind of feels like you think she should need you more as she's single, and you should be the married friend who needs her less, and you're annoyed that that isn't the case.

😂😂😂

For goodness’ sake, you are married with two kids. A single person would probably consider the weekend as ‘family time’ and not expect you to want to hang out with a single friend but to be spending time with your family. Have you ever been single for any length of time as an adult? It requires military precision planning and a lot of effort to make sure you don’t spend long periods of time on your own feeling lonely if you are the extrovert type.
YABVU.

I have a good friend who has lots of other friends but she makes time in her life for me and actually in some ways it’s nice to know that she’s not just holding onto our friendship because she doenst have friends and needs me, she just wants me in her life

One of my friends is single and lives alone and wants to make sure she has plans as she’s a social person. If I don’t happen to have plans my husband is there so I don’t feel lonely but you do need to make more effort when you live alone.

As others have said, don’t resent it as she clearly wants you in her busy life. You might need to make plans further in advance with her.

Why do you assume that she doesn't appreciate time with you?

And (I mean this gently), why do you resent someone else having a full social diary? You did do something nice, so why is it spoiled by discovering she is busy for the next couple of months?

I think this is much more about your resentment of your own social life than it is about resenting her. She hasn't done anything wrong.