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Original poster

Housemate/her boyfriend are ALWAYS in the bathroom

66 replies

MelonHead2 · 28/06/2023 10:51

I don’t know if I’m being unfair here.

Take last night (but this is every evening) -
bear in mind they were in all evening, and I didn’t arrive home until 10:45. I went straight to bed.

While I’m trying to sleep, they decide to use the bathroom at 11pm. At 11:15, my housemate goes to her room and her boyfriend remains in the bathroom.

For 25 minutes.

He turns the taps on about 7 or 8 times, and the light is on which shines through my room. It’s keeping me awake.
He blows his nose loudly and he also played a video on his phone whilst doing all this which, whilst wasn’t super loud, was loud enough for it to be irritating.

This happens almost every single evening and I just don’t understand what they do for so long, or why it’s necessary.
They also spend ages in the bathroom in the morning whilst I’m getting ready for work.

If I’m honest I don’t have much of a relationship with my housemate and we very rarely talk unless it’s bills or rent. We’ve never really been confrontational.

How do I approach this? Do I say something? I don’t want to make it tense but it’s taking the piss now…

OP posts:
FeltCarrot · 28/06/2023 11:44

He needs to start contributing to bills if he’s there 6/7 nights.

Original poster
MelonHead2 · 28/06/2023 11:41

Sorry I forgot to mention - he is not a tenant. He is round every single day and they don’t really leave the flat. They probably stay at his once a week.
Thanks all for your inputs!

OP posts:
PJRules · 28/06/2023 11:38

Say something as gently as possible about being disturbed by noise from the bathroom - blame the thin walls and happy doors rather than saying they are being excessive.

Then change whatever is within your power - ear plugs and some extra seals round the door or staple a curtain to the doorframe.

I think I'd be more annoyed by the BF always being there if he doesn't officially live there.

Bluebells1970 · 28/06/2023 11:37

I think you need a quiet word with her - saying that it's disturbing you so late and can they please be a little quieter especially when you're in bed.

Is he there all the time? If he's not on the tenancy, then I'd also perhaps have a chat to the landlord....

pastelmagenta · 28/06/2023 11:32

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request

cocksstrideintheevening · 28/06/2023 11:31

Is he a tenant?

Zhougzhoug · 28/06/2023 11:30

The morning is non negotiable - you both need an agreed time. I used to live with a flatmate who liked to have a little spa experience for a literal hour in our tiny bathroom every single morning when we both had a train to catch. She’d use all the hot water running the shower empty to get it nice and steamy first then liked to exfoliate, shave her legs, fake tan, 10 step skincare etc. It was insane. So you need to be like one of you has it at 7.30, another at 8. If he is not paying rent then he has to share her slot so there is no impact on you whatsoever.

The evening is more of a noise issue, maybe just ask them to keep it down a bit. Assuming they’re not shagging in there and he’s just watching Netflix in the bath or something.

ThunderStormPlease · 28/06/2023 11:28

Do a sheldon and make a bathroom rota. Grin

No honestly though, tell them exactly what you've said here.

hedgehoglurker · 28/06/2023 11:26

Why does the light shine through your room? It's not unreasonable to turn the light on in the bathroom, so you could eliminate this problem quite quickly by covering where the light comes through.

123ZYX · 28/06/2023 11:22

Is her boyfriend also a tenant? If not, and he's staying almost every night I'd be talking to them about that. It might not feel so bad if half the time they were at his and so you had the flat to yourself

Freefall212 · 28/06/2023 11:21

Is the boyfriend paying his share if the rent / bills?

assuming this is the only bathroom
and shared by the 3 of you, you need to talk to them about it. Not about when you aren’t home(no idea how you know they were in there all evening if you weren’t home) but that you need access to the bathroom to get ready in the am and at night for bed. Just have a conversation.

ComtesseDeSpair · 28/06/2023 11:21

This is one of those situations where you really just have to talk to people. Agree on staggered morning bathroom times so there’s no hogging by one person whilst the other is trying to get ready, let them know that the walls are really thin and could they not play videos in the bathroom.

Things like nose blowing and using the taps at 11pm are really pretty standard activities for a not particularly late bedtime routine, so I agree with previous poster on earplugs and a face mask if you’re easily woken.

Throwncrumbs · 28/06/2023 11:20

Is it just you and her paying to live there, and the boyfriends freeloading? I definitely would say something if that’s the case. Even if he pays to live there I would say about the noise when you are in bed, it is inconsiderate!

Original poster
MelonHead2 · 28/06/2023 11:12

It happens every evening so definitely not unwell! It’s just got to the point I’m getting really fed up of the inconsiderate-ness of it (don’t know the right word!). It’s also affecting me getting ready in the morning

OP posts:
GiveOverRover · 28/06/2023 11:06

You're not being unfair, but you're not doing yourself any favours lying there and counting the times he turns the tap on either. Get yourself some earplugs and a decent comfortable eye mask and accept that house sharing is cheaper for a reason.

TempName247 · 28/06/2023 11:01

You could ask if her boyfriend was unwell last night as you could hear him in the bathroom for a long time

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