To ask why there are so many kids with mental health problems?

As someone with a daughter whose mental health dropped through the floor during Covid, who changed into a different person, and who is now struggling with a serious eating disorder, some of these responses are incredibly ignorant.

Anorexia isn't just a fad that adolescents grow out of, it's a serious biological and mental condition, and Covid and lockdown has had a really horrendous impact on young people. DDs school have SEVEN TIMES the amount of girls admitted to eating disorder services.

So no, it's not that we're negligent, or too soft:hard as parents, or she doesn't get outside or have any hobbies or any of that crap. If you haven't been through this or any other truly horrendous mental health condition don't wade in with 'it was so much better in my day'. You have no idea

I do think it's partly that our use of language has changed. "Teenage angst" has always been a thing, we just label it differently now. Like how "abuse" used to mean violence and now it also includes mean words. When I was a teenager (I'm mid-thirties now) there were many trends at my girls school, like anorexia and self harm, that were incredibly common, but most girls grew out of them as they left their teen years behind. I think now we see these things as behaviours to be stamped out by adults rather than something to be lived through and learnt from.

I also think that there's a link to our poor physical health. There's more and more evidence to show that poor gut health affects the brain. Again, that's not completely new though and would have impacted people who grew up in the 90s eating processed food and too much sugar and being plied with too many antibiotics by overzealous doctors. These people now have awful gut problems as adults and there's unfortunately a lot of them.

This is a really good point. We've all had some really tough years, and it is showing up as wider spread MH issues across the whole population.

I think many people assume it's a combination of:

• social media. There was a thread on here this morning about prom and how much people were spending. I was pretty astonished. There just wasn't that much pressure when I was a teen. Nobody was going to look at my photos but me, and frankly we took a photo at the beginning when we arrived and that was it. No camera phones.

• more advertising, and it's targeted. The whole point of advertising is to convince you your life is not good enough without xyz. It also means you're being exposed to models much more often, which means unrealistic expectations.

• more time online and less in the real world. Its been shown many times that we are social creatures and our mental health is better when we have face to face interactions. We mostly don't have that sense of community any more. We say it takes a village.... but most don't have one any more.

I think it's picked up more now than In the past, I find it shocking how nobody seemed to notice how much I was suffering as a teen and I hope we are much more aware now as a society.
I agree social media must have a horrendous impact on some teens along with covid. My son has just turned 21 and had to spend his 18th in lockdown along with doing an apprenticeship as a electrician and I know he felt really anxious about being kept on and being able to pass the exams when he wasn't aloud to go to college. This generation of young people have not had an easy time at all.

'no one in my year went through ‘school refusal’ etc'

Quite a few people in mine certainly did, only it was generally referred to as 'playing truant'. And once you were 16, it wasn't referred to as either; it was just 'leaving school'.

School attendance is just taken more seriously nowadays.

There were a number of people in my year who had or developed mental health problems. At least one took their own life; several developed eating disorders, which in at least one case resulted in their dying young; one became a very disturbed adult, who ended up committing a serious crime. Perhaps greater awareness of mental health problems in young people would have prevented at least some of these.

There is no opportunity to learn conflict resolution in age appropriate ways either. Everything is labelled as bullying whether it is or not so parents jump in lest their child be upset that someone doesn't want to play with them

Don’t really buy it. Kids are at school 6-7 hours a day just like we were and that is where the vast majority of conflicts (most minor of course) occur and are resolved.

I think the main issue is that the average teenager spends 7-8 hours a day in their own worlds staring at a screen, accessing god knows what. But of course mostly low quality content, created to be as addicting as possible, and with extremely dubious messaging. This is by far and away the most radical change in todays society compared to even 20 years ago. There’s simply no need to imo to look elsewhere for explanations of mental health crisis.

Backed up by an article in the Sunday Times this morning.

My daughter has always been a bit anxious, then Covid tipped her over the edge and she had a bit of a breakdown.

She had lots of issues as a child and had been assessed for ASD/ADHD/dyslexia, etc at around age 7/8 and we were told that whilst she had some traits, there wasn’t enough for a diagnosis, that she was a little immature and would grow out of it.

She’d always been ticcy but she developed complex verbal and motor tics so was diagnosed with Tourette’s.

Her mental health started going down hill in year 9, she was referred to CAMHS and had talking therapy, had ELSA sessions at school and she was supported brilliantly in school and we were bumbling along ok.

Then covid and the lockdowns hit.

She started showing OCD type tendencies, inability to leave her room (let alone the house) without a panic attack, self harming, disordered eating and finally an overdose. Lots of weird neurological symptoms appeared and she was diagnosed with FND

We’ve spent the last 3 years putting her back together with the help of a private therapist, then CAMHS and anxiety meds.

She was put forward for another ASD assessment by CAMHS and she had a dyslexia assessment.

She’s recently received a diagnosis of autism and she has quite severe dyslexia.

She’s never been a big social media user, some gaming but not excessive - the odd session on Sims/Minecraft. Has been mad on horses since she was very young and a few years ago we were luckily enough to be able to buy her her own pony so has always been active, up the yard early mornings, etc.

I believe undiagnosed autism with years of masking, already iffy mental health and Covid/lockdowns are the causes of DD’s problems.

I think parents are under immense pressure to make their children's lives as easy as possible. My DD isn't a teen yet but has some ongoing anxiety due to a close family member dying & now has anxiety about me dying and leaving her. She has come such a long way from how she was initially & I have had to push her to do things she enjoys I.e. playdates at friends etc. I worry hugely about how she will cope as a teenager - is she already predisposed to mental health problems? My DD was the happiest most outgoing child, until she wasn't. She has lots of good friends, clubs, enjoys school etc buy I worry about her more than I probably would have before. It affects all members of a family when a child is mentally struggling and you are under immense pressure to get it Right. I've felt out of my depth on a number of occasions & I'm hoping and praying she makes it through relatively unscathed. Social media is the root of most of the problems for teens I think, group chats, knowing where everyone is all the time. Its not healthy.

There are few schools that never tell children No, or that they're wrong. If anything, the emphasis on regular testing forces teachers to judge children's answers and actions as right or wrong from a very early stage.

What has changed is the abolition of corporal punishment, but that is a good thing.

It may be relevant that pupils stay at school a lot longer than in the past. School leaving age was raised from 15 to 16 in the 1970s, and for a while after that, the less academically able pupils often did not take formal exams, and were often ignored if they 'bunked off' during their last year. Nowadays, pupils are expected to be in formal education and taking some sort of exams until 18. And there are far fewer jobs that people can do without some sort of qualifications.

Therefore in the past, many young people who were highly anxious about school/ exams/ bullying 'voted with their feet' at 16. And so did many bullies and disruptive pupils. So mental health problems were less likely to show up at school- because many with such problems left school as early as possible.

Give over with the lack of resilience rubbish. 🙄Todays teens are coping with an awful lot more than previous teens and actually those who suffer the most are the most resilient as they drag themselves through society and are coping and living with more than many of us will ever experience.

I think the world is more depressing and worrying and phones are catastrophically damaging. Education is dire now too and support for youngsters is almost non existent thanks to this government. It doesn’t get dealt with early on then backs up and gets worse. I think neurodiversity also has a lot to do with it as todays society is hugely damaging for any neurodiversity but it can’t be escaped. I also think

No.
I asked a question.
It just strikes me as that this is something you should consider.
Have your children modelled your behaviour.

This. Everything teens have now is artificial

There seemed to be plenty of angsty teens when I was a teen. Writing shite poety, dressing as goths, smoking pot and being angry with the world....for example.

I got the impression from my kids when they were teens that they and their friends were all a lot more sensible and hard working than when I was a teen.

Definitely this.

There is no opportunity to learn conflict resolution in age appropriate ways either. Everything is labelled as bullying whether it is or not so parents jump in lest their child be upset that someone doesn't want to play with them.

Then there is the obsession with labelling every emotion. I would argue that the bigger problem is with adults. Every second person on MN has 'anxiety' or 'MH issues' Not to mention the dr shopping to find the diagnosis of the issue they feel they have. Does anyone think children are going to remain unaffected by this?

I didn't say or infer that you didn't think mental health issues exist 🤷🏻‍♀️

What I was showing was that awareness and reporting of MH issues have increased across the board. Why are you 'baffled' about teens but not about the huge numbers of your co-workers who take time off work for MH issues.
It shows a lack of awareness that you think 'adult' worries are more worthy of causing MH issues than 'teen' worries. There is always going to be people in a far worse situation than you. There are people in the world starving and living in unimaginable circumstances but that doesn't mean that someone's stresses in the UK are unimportant.

You can weed out the ones whose children are still young and those who were lucky enough for their teenagers not to be affected. They lack understanding, empathy and are utterly convinced "not my kid because I taught them resilience".

I also taught my children resilience. I was strict but fair, I did not give in to them, pander to their every little whim, I have never gone down to the school complaining, I have always taught them to stand up for themselves and others and I have also taught them that not everything goes their way and sometimes shit things happen and you have to take it on the chin. They went through the usual up and downs and disappointments, trials and tribulations of being a teen with little problem and they grew up confident, articulate and strong.

4 kids, all brought up the same way in the same house with the same parents and the same rules. 3 of them are fine and absolutely thriving and one most certainly is not. She was diagnosed with a pretty serious mental health issue having tried to manage on her own for months without telling anyone BECAUSE of judgement of people like you. " I suppose all teenagers feel like this, I didn't want to worry you". No Love, not all teenagers battle with self harm and intrusive thoughts and don't want to be here anymore but some do and they need to get help and not be told they are fucking WEAK.

The funny thing is my daughter who struggles is my most resilient child of all because she gets up and fights every day of her life just to exist and that is before she does all the other things that are expected of her, her siblings and every other teenager out there. She battles daily and is the strongest person I know, there is nothing weak about her.

This thread has some very ignorant, nasty and downright arsehole comments. All from people with no experience, no knowledge and "it won't happen to me" attitude.

Everything was ok in my house, until it wasn't. Everyone was ok until they weren't. It blindsided me and my world was turned upside down. Don't think it cannot or will not happen to you because you are "parenting better". Life has a funny way of changing on a dime. I hope you remember this thread then and how you blamed parents for raising weak children which honestly is one of the nastiest comments I have ever seen on here.

I think it is as much more diagnosis, recognition and acceptance than in my generation (I’m 43), but then when you think about that it means they, in turn may have to deal with undiagnosed parents!!!

I do think so many points above have truth to them- that we baby kids more, tell them way too much for their ages and give them so much choice we’re actually overloading them instead of helping them, then my god, screens- they’re just like a mh killer in your pocket!! Also excercise now is more regulated and less of the freedom to just run about and have fun!

So no one answer but it is scary- I have 4 sons and one gets very very sad ‘for no reason’ (his words), and the other we’re trying to figure out whether he gets too angry. There is a big history of depression in his family, but also stress and heart issues so we need to figure it out, addd to this as in my family and life is interesting!!!

Societal pressure to "achieve" especially with regard to exam results.

This is very true.

The terminology has changed.
I got upset, angry, miserable. Now, I'd have "a mental health problem".

Also schools are too pressured. School in the 80s
Clever. Did a levels. Might go to uni if super clever
Mid range GCSEs. Get a job maybe college
Vocational cses. Go college get a job

We have literally NO pressure

We Fuck up. Our problem

No talk of uni every one feeling they have to go
No huge debt if you did go
No talk of GCSEs being your ticket through life
No attendance awards
No comparison to other local schools achievement wise
No social media making any bullying come home.

Obviously there are many other factors but the way schools are now is amazing any kid comes out unscathed.

Aren’t all teenagers a bit fucking crazy? It’s part of the course with all those hormones going nuts. They don’t all have MH issues, they’re just developing.

Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and other areas of the net should probably be treated like gambling websites, where you need to prove you are of adult years in order to access them. The current model simply doesn’t work and is on no way conducive to happy young people in turn becoming happy adults. Though of course it will never happen as advertising to under 18s be it in the form of products, music videos or influencers is worth multiple billions - before you even consider they are simultaneously being brainwashed into
consumption patterns and an outlook which accompany them through their whole adult life. So it’s basically worth trillions.