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Original poster

To ask why there are so many kids with mental health problems?

435 replies

Newmama29 · 25/06/2023 09:42

I’ve been scrolling through some threads recently & I find people are talking a lot about their kids/teenagers having mental health problems. Why is this so prominent now? I, myself, was only a teenager 10 years ago so I am baffled as to how many people claim their teens have mental health problems. Is it just that we talk about it more or is society causing this?

OP posts:
Littleguggi · 26/06/2023 22:36

@Tincan5555 I work in a frontline role. It may vary area to area but certainly where I work, majority of parents ask for medication, probably because they know the wait for therapy is ages. If there was more early support, the waiting times in CAMHS wouldn't be so ridiculous. It's very rare that I see a child/ young person who is 'pretty unwell'/ acutely unwell, in most cases they are still functioning in daily activities i.e school, sports, socialising etc.

elliejjtiny · 26/06/2023 22:34

So many reasons.

Social media
Covid
More awareness
Lack of services mean teenagers/their parents are self diagnosing
Some people consider things to be mental health issues that never used to be e.g. Someone I know posted on social media that biting your nails is a form of self harming.

Tincan5555 · 26/06/2023 22:25

Naming what?

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 26/06/2023 22:24

Tincan5555 · 26/06/2023 22:14

Who says it is being pathologised. The last thing most parents I know want is their kid on medication. 🤔

By naming it you are pathologising it.

Tincan5555 · 26/06/2023 22:23

Role

Tincan5555 · 26/06/2023 22:18

Littleguggi

What was your time as in my experience you have to be pretty unwell to get any contact with a professional.

And as for stressed parents, try coping with a struggling unwell teen alongside battling for support yourself.

Tincan5555 · 26/06/2023 22:14

Who says it is being pathologised. The last thing most parents I know want is their kid on medication. 🤔

SparklingMarkling · 26/06/2023 22:14

@WeeWillyWinkie9

Agreed and certainly not in adolescence.

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 26/06/2023 22:05

Tincan5555 · 25/06/2023 23:21

WeeWillyWinkie9

Thats rubbish Cahms and adult services don’t want hoards of cases on their books. The patients on their waiting lists are very ill. They weed out all but the most severe cases which are not just cases of pathologised anxiety.🙄

Nothing should be pathologised though.

Littleguggi · 26/06/2023 21:58

I haven't read previous posts. As someone who has worked in CAMHS 10 years plus, I have noticed that more and more parents want professionals to diagnose normal human emotions and distress in their teens as mental health. Parents aren't coping with their own stresses, that has a knock on effect on parenting and modelling coping behaviours. Medication is seen as a quick fix but of course we know it comes with side effects. I spend most of my working day normalising and validating teens thoughts and feelings, 'of course you are feeling sad as you are being bullied', 'of course you are angry as you feel your parents don't have time for you' etc etc. The cutbacks and pressures in schools/ primary care/ social care mean families aren't given early intervention/ support.

Tincan5555 · 26/06/2023 21:45

Many are my dc included because it’s debilitating. My dc got her Cahms diagnosis during being treated for being very unwell.

Willyoujustbequiet · 26/06/2023 21:03

Tincan5555 · 26/06/2023 17:06

giggly

who said it did? 🙄What I meant was Cahms across the board( going by forums filled with parents tearing their hair out across the country) aren’t interested in the “ a bit sad” kids. The ones on waiting lists are really struggling and quite ill.

And give over with your patronising lay person references. We’ve walked this way for several years. Parents are pretty experienced in how things are across MH services.

CAMHS in my area also deal with neurodiverse diagnoses. People with ADHD are not ill.

CatsSnore · 26/06/2023 20:25

babbscrabbs · 26/06/2023 17:42

I very much doubt it's this.

12 years ago Gina Ford was all the rage!

Attachment parenting has only been mainstream for about 8 years and when then most parents don't follow it.

Show quote history

It wasn't Gina Ford in the 90/80/70s etc but it was routine, crying it out in prams in the garden, children should be seen and not heard.

I'm not advocating for crying it out btw, I'm just pointing out that children in previous decades were left to get on with it more. Children played outside, took more risks, had more autonomy and freedom. They went to bed and stayed in bed, they knew their parents were in charge. It has swung too far the other way, like parents of those generations have gone the complete opposite instead of a middle ground.

TinyTeacher · 26/06/2023 20:03

@Tincan5555 I don't think anyone is suggesting that these cause ALL mental illness. Merely that they may have contributed to the apparent increased occurrence , particularly of anxiety.

Ponoka7 · 26/06/2023 19:38

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 25/06/2023 11:41

@Ponoka7 racism has increased in my opinion with the alt right increase and social media dividing everyone, the more the world goes into poverty the more marginalized groups get blamed and discriminated against or neglected. Plus these things have a compound effect so if you're homeless or if you're homeless and black too you'll be even worse off and racism might impact your ability to get out of that situation.

I suffered racism even by teachers. It depends on your lived experience of course, but at least my Mum and GM couldn't be called the names mine were, in school, work etc nowadays. The racism in workplaces, in the days were page 3 could also be left lying around and if you entered a male environment, the pictures were displayed on walks etc, was blatant and ongoing. The anti racism support wasn't there, because of a lack of confidence in other people. The police etc underperform, but then they could just ignore crime against ethnic minorities and there was no redress. In the background racism might be as bad, but I don't think that it is.

Whattodowithallthebooks · 26/06/2023 18:32

I think lockdown definitely had an impact but I also think there was more undiagnosed mental health issues in the past. I was a teenager 20 years ago and many of my friends has mental health problems their parents weren't aware of. I knew one friend at high school who committed suicide and several who attempted suicide and many others who self harmed. Not to mention those using drugs/alcohol to cope. More awareness is definitely a good thing.

Prescottdanni123 · 26/06/2023 18:26

Social media
Covid
Cost of Living Crisis
Ukraine and Russia

Tincan5555 · 26/06/2023 18:17

Do go on as you haven’t mentioned one reason for my dc being mentally ill.

SparklingMarkling · 26/06/2023 18:02

Because

  • their parents have poor mental health and so therefore model it. Poor mental health is a consequence of having a shit life which is usually related to difficult circumstances

  • their parents have split up and kids have to deal with step mums/dads, half siblings when those dynamics can be anything but plain sailing

  • it’s a get out of jail card for a lot of parents who haven’t patented correctly

  • bullying, education that’s of a poor standard…. Christ I could go on and on and on and on!!!!!

Freyawiththeblondehair · 26/06/2023 18:01

Just my opinion but life is too fast now. Every second of every day is spent loading our brains with stimulus from phones, computers, tablets, TV. And now our brains are basically overheated tripping computers.

Goldenbear · 26/06/2023 17:59

Torven · 26/06/2023 17:12

I think "DC" is absolutely ridiculous. Appreciate it might be how people talk in the Mumsnet heartlands but it's stupid. Sorry Mumsnet.

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Oh I see, I've totally misunderstood you, very sorry about that, I thought you were referring to C.😳

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 26/06/2023 17:57

tackling · 25/06/2023 12:15

@Sirzy indeed.

My grandfather was hugely fucked up by it - he wasn't a charmer to begin with but was much more abusive afterwards by all accounts. The family was suitably messed up by it all and you can see it in all the dynamics today.

My husband's grandfather survived the holocaust, which also fucked him sideways from what we've heard (unsurprisingly). His entire "family" is packed with messed-up people who have been no-contact with each other for decades - we have nothing to do with any of them either.

But no, apparently both of those men would be proof of the good old days Confused

Thinking about it, I should add to my list up thread that we're still seeing intergenerational trauma from those wars.

But my father left home to go into the army at nineteen in 1940. He got away from his rather negative and critical father, into an environment where his superiors were actively looking for men who could achieve, who could be encouraged to develop leadership skills, to learn new skills. He undoubtedly had a better life than if he had followed his father into a job as a retail clerk. He always spoke highly of the army ( in spite of lying under an unexploded bomb for thirty hours until rescued).

So it wasn’t always a traumatic experience.

Gettingfleeced · 26/06/2023 17:57

Goldenbear · 26/06/2023 16:54

I don't think your take on this is universal. Don't you see a problem with normalising referring to children as C's on Mumsnet of all places! I haven't met anyone in my whole life that feels that extreme bitterness about children. It wouldn't even cross my mind to think about anyone like that and I don't know anybody in friendship circle, peers, family or colleagues that thinks like this.

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I think @Torven is using "C" to stand for children. Are you thinking of a different c-word @Goldenbear ? 😂

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 26/06/2023 17:53

I probably did a very loose version of what people might call "attachment parenting", though I certainly didn't call it that at the time. Most people around me seemed to be doing Gina Ford or some version thereof.

At 18, my dd is not one of the ones who is struggling with her mental health!!!

babbscrabbs · 26/06/2023 17:42

CatsSnore · 26/06/2023 17:20

Really what has changed is parenting styles. I have an issue with attachment parenting - ie you have to have your baby on you all the time, respond all the time and if you don't they get insecure attachment. It's bollocks when it's that extreme. Babies in romanian orphanges may have not developed properly because of lack of response but attachment theory is just a theory. It's got loads of holes in it and it's very easy to criticise it. Also attachment theory says you only need to respond 30% of the time for normal development.. the parenting books using attachment theory as a way to parent so they can sell books are cherry picking bits and pieces out of one theory that can be easily disproven.

Children and babies had far less attention /pandering/a say in generations and generations ago. That's not to say ignoring your baby/children is right either but there really is a middle ground. Children who are brought up in charge of the house do awful in teenage years and beyond.

I very much doubt it's this.

12 years ago Gina Ford was all the rage!

Attachment parenting has only been mainstream for about 8 years and when then most parents don't follow it.