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AIBU?

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Original poster

Woman showing entire bum in public when bending over - what would you have done?

195 replies

Avondale89 · 23/06/2023 19:28

I was in the queue to pay in clothes shop today, standing behind a woman with her friend, both with babies in prams. It was outrageously hot and so she was wearing a short denim skirt that was pulled up high and a vest top. Obviously nothing wrong with that, however she bent over a few times to get things out of the basket under the pram and in doing do flashed her entire bum and thong. There were also mirrors to the side and behind us, so presumably this was also reflected to the entire shop. It was a proper full moon, not just a bit of bum cheek.

It didn’t seem as though she had noticed and her friend couldn’t see from her angle. I couldn’t help thinking that if I was in that scenario that I’d want to know. However I didn’t say anything because it’s none of my business and I didn’t want to embarrass her. Also maybe she knew and didn’t care 🤷🏻‍♀️

But, what would you have done/wanted someone else to do if you were in that situation? I do live up north in a place where strangers do talk to each other regularly FYI!

YABU - I should have quietly told her that her bum was exposed to the shop

YANBU - leave her to it

OP posts:
gillefc82 · 23/06/2023 23:09

I would always let someone know if they had their skirt tucked in their knickers or toilet roll stuck to the bottom of their shoe, but probably wouldn’t have said anything in this case.

I would always tell other women if they had the stickers on the soles of their shoes too, but remember doing this once with a lady in work (not someone I knew) and being looked at like I’d asked her what colour knickers she was wearing that day 😂

I was informed in no uncertain terms that she never bothers removing the stickers as it’s not a big deal. That was certainly me told!!

Wiseflower · 23/06/2023 23:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

SayHi · 23/06/2023 23:02

NumberTheory · 23/06/2023 22:03

This^^

If I was positioned in a way where I could have told her quietly so that no one else would hear, I would have let her know, for her sake. Something along the lines of "I don't mean to embarrass you but thought you might want to know that when you lean over your skirt doesn't cover your rear at all." Because I would want to know.

But if that wasn't possible I probably wouldn't have said anything because the last thing someone who doesn't want to be flashing wants is for someone to announce it to everyone else.

Show quote history

I agree.

So many of these comments are just plain weird, almost like she should be ashamed for wearing a short skirt.

No ones out there flashing their bum for attention, especially when they’re out shopping with their baby and simply getting something out of a pram.

It’s possible that the skirt is slightly too tight on her since having the baby and before she was able to bend over without flashing and now she doesn’t realise.

Wiseflower · 23/06/2023 22:59

Sounds like she knew she was flashing her arse!

I would ignore it. The woman has issues if she wants to expose herself and is an exhibitionist. Not worth saying anything to someone who doesnt care. She probably has done this on a daily basis. Just turn your back.

Original poster
Avondale89 · 23/06/2023 22:59

Raffington55 · 23/06/2023 22:50

@Avondale89 Not a huge projection by any means. I found your post very 'curtain twitcher-y' to be honest. It was a 10 second event involving a stranger with a too-short skirt who didn't care about it. No need to insert yourself.

Per my post, I didn’t insert myself. And the lady was directly in front of me, so I wasn’t straining to look. Nor did it distress me in any way.

OP posts:
JoniBlue · 23/06/2023 22:52

I think in that case I would not have said anything.

Raffington55 · 23/06/2023 22:50

@Avondale89 Not a huge projection by any means. I found your post very 'curtain twitcher-y' to be honest. It was a 10 second event involving a stranger with a too-short skirt who didn't care about it. No need to insert yourself.

croft89 · 23/06/2023 22:47

Woman wearing short skirt bends over and you can see her arse and thong shocker

Of course she knew

Jetstream · 23/06/2023 22:44

Ah, we are getting all the bad weather from the Atlantic. Very fed up of it.

Clafoutie · 23/06/2023 22:43

Redebs · 23/06/2023 19:53

Some years ago, I was in Sainsbury's when a guy with low slung jeans squatted down to reach something and the back of his waistband slid down so that his hairy bum came right out. An older lady walked past and in disgust loudly declared. "OH MEIN GOTT!" This is in UK and not many Germans here.

The way she said it was magnificent. If I see people deliberately exposing themselves in public, her voice echoes in my head. OH MEIN GOTT!

This made me chuckle! I think I will probably remember this now if I see something similar 😂

KimberleyClark · 23/06/2023 22:43

Years ago I worked with someone who habitually wore short skirts with a slit at the back with stockings. You could see her stocking tops through the slit if you were walking behind her.

Original poster
Avondale89 · 23/06/2023 22:42

newnamethanks · 23/06/2023 22:30

I would have rushed home and posted on MN for advice.

Please do let me know what the criteria are for starting a thread here. The topics do seem to be pretty wide ranging. Granted, this isn’t an important or groundbreaking issue.

OP posts:
Luna02 · 23/06/2023 22:42

I flashed this afternoon to a car driving past, as my dress flew up just as I was putting my kid in the car seat. I don’t know if they saw but I think I would have been annoyed if they’d said something as obviously I knew the dress flew up but couldn’t help it. So it’s a bit different.

it being in a queue it would have been very difficult to say something without everyone hearing so I think it would have made the situation worse

Original poster
Avondale89 · 23/06/2023 22:40

Jetstream · 23/06/2023 22:09

Where on earth are you OP that it is hot? Like autumn here in Co. Cork. Rained all day today and have a thumping headache.

NW of England. V humid and hot today where I am, especially in shops with no air con!

OP posts:
Original poster
Avondale89 · 23/06/2023 22:37

Raffington55 · 23/06/2023 21:45

I can't believe you took the trouble to write this post tbh and sounds like you were a bit pissed off with her for not giving a toss. But if she wants to show her bum to the world, let her. She could surely tell her bum was on show. Perhaps that's what pissed you off!

Well this is a huge projection! I’m not uncomfortable or pissed off with her at all. Interesting some of the mental leaps that are made on this forum. I actually got the sense she didn’t know, but she clearly had bigger things on her mind as she was looking after a baby.

All I was wondering was would you want to know in that situation/would you have said anything (kindly). I know it’s not a big deal, I was just wondering what opinions were.

OP posts:
CustardySergeant · 23/06/2023 22:33

Jetstream · 23/06/2023 22:09

Where on earth are you OP that it is hot? Like autumn here in Co. Cork. Rained all day today and have a thumping headache.

Well it's definitely like summer here in South East England. Boiling hot.

Marmablade · 23/06/2023 22:31

I was on the Tube the other day and a lady told me my skirt was tucked in. And it was properly tucked in. I'd been like that for at least 20 minutes. I thanked her profusely. Very grateful.

newnamethanks · 23/06/2023 22:30

I would have rushed home and posted on MN for advice.

Justleaveitblankthen · 23/06/2023 22:29

This has just jolted a memory for me!

Growing up in the 70's we used to say: "Stop bending over, you're showing next week's washing!"

So, even as young children this is what we accused the 'flasher' of 😁

Never heard it since then.

Jetstream · 23/06/2023 22:09

Where on earth are you OP that it is hot? Like autumn here in Co. Cork. Rained all day today and have a thumping headache.

NumberTheory · 23/06/2023 22:03

HowdoIleave · 23/06/2023 21:23

I'd assume she liked the look of the skirt when briefly stood in front of a mirror/ grabbing an outfit at home from her pre-baby clothes, not that she knows what she's doing wearing a skirt that short and gets a kick out of bending over to tend to her baby. The woman is probably still getting used to motherhood and what clothes work well with all the physical demands of looking after babies- I doubt that how she looks bending over in shops has much of her headspace right now.

This^^

If I was positioned in a way where I could have told her quietly so that no one else would hear, I would have let her know, for her sake. Something along the lines of "I don't mean to embarrass you but thought you might want to know that when you lean over your skirt doesn't cover your rear at all." Because I would want to know.

But if that wasn't possible I probably wouldn't have said anything because the last thing someone who doesn't want to be flashing wants is for someone to announce it to everyone else.

BeginningToLookALotLike · 23/06/2023 21:51

This is where those chub rub long pants can come in very handy!

FabFitFifties · 23/06/2023 21:51

I've seen an enormous number of bottom flashers in the past 2 weeks - most in short flouncy type dresses. I haven't told anyone - been driving for most. They've all had knickers on though rather than thongs. I think people are more cautious when wearing short tight things - less risk aware in flouncy numbers. See through leggings are an even bigger dilemma.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 23/06/2023 21:51

In this case I would have said nothing because she had chosen very skimpy clothes and probably did not care who saw what. I would just stare thoughtfully in a different direction until the moon was eclipsed by her skirt.

It would be totally different if she had a longer skirt caught up in her pants and was accidentally giving everyone an eyeful - I would tell her immediately in that case.

Cornishclio · 23/06/2023 21:47

I really wouldn't have been bothered enough to say something. She chose to wear a short skirt so obviously didn't care.