Punching boy at school

Can you go into the school and talk to the teacher?
I would not think the child gets away with a lot from a child's perspective.
I have no idea how the UK schools deal with this, but in our school, stop it etc is taught.

My child was bullied or hit often, it turns put the boy wanted to be his friend and included... the day a I'm sorry card came home it was a huge relief.
The teacher didn't realise until I visited in person and mentioned it to the point my child was refusing school and often feeling 'sick', that is not on.
To the pp who said it is not bullying, yes it is, he's targeting him regularly.
It is stressful and a 6yr old is so young, surely you can approach his teacher or head and sort it out.
Whatever the families' issues hitting is not ok, the boy is at school to learn social skills as well.
Ask the teacher how and why it is happening often!
Horrible stuff.

Totally agree with you telling your DS to hit him back. My DS (then age 8/9) had 18 months of another boy making his life a misery, even on summer holidays the bully was inside my poor DS’s head. One day DS finally punched him, then punched him again the next day and we’ve never heard that bully’s name again. I never heard a peep out of school, bully didn’t report it.

Teaching them to hit back is reinforcing that hitting someone is OK.

Pushing them away and shouting is a better option and absolutely doesn't teach them that the bully is more important and it isn't "appeasing" the bully.

no good ever comes from hitting someone.

Always amazes me to see how many people don't want their DC to hit back.

You're reinforcing that the bully is more important than them and is allowed to mistreat them. They're already seeing from the teachers' inaction that that's how it works and now you're adding to the issue for your own child.

No good ever comes from appeasing bullies.

Oh we have this. I’ve told dd to shove the boy off her as hard as possible and shout at him, then tell a teacher.

I’ve also told her that at least she knows that boys who hit aren’t people she wants to be friends with.

If this was my son being hit, I'd 100% be on board with my son smacking the little blighter. Sometimes it takes a good smack back to a bully for them to stop.

The school should be doing more though and so should the parents. It is disgraceful they aren't.

I agree with your husband. There was a bully in my DS's class all through primary school, school never dealt with him effectively and one day in year 6 my quiet, shy son punched him. He got cheers and hi fives from his class mates and no punishment from the teachers.

He finally stopped picking on the other kids after that.

I wouldn’t usually advocate hitting back but I once did tell DS tooand have no regrets.
DS was bullied by a child for months in year 6, it was verbal bullying and really upset DS. The child was very sly and always did it out of ear shot of the teachers though they were aware of what was going on.
DS was really struggling and anxious about going into school, I snapped and told DS to hit the child. On that day the child said something to upset DS, DS then hit the child with his pencil case. The deputy head saw it all. DS was comforted. The bully was shouted at and taken to the heads office and suspended for the next day. DSs teacher told me the events at pick up and was very happy they finally caught the child in the act. The other child didn’t bother DS again!

It reminds me of when I was bullied by this girl. She came up to me in the street and grabbed me by the hair. I grabbed her back and we both fell to the floor. I banged her head against the pavement. She never came near me again. Oh and I saw the little cunt a few years later and complained to her manager about her.

It does annoy me when schools take a softly softly approach with children with behaviour like this. In my experience children from chaotic backgrounds need firm boundaries to feel safe and secure. When my foster son came to me his behaviour at the school he was already attending was shocking. I was told every day about people he had hurt or things he had done. But at the same time he was getting no sanctions at school because I think they felt sorry for him. I remember one day they all came out with a certain craft, including him, smiling and happy as usual. But the teacher said he'd done x, y and z including refusing to make the craft. To me the natural consequence of that was that he wouldn't have had one to take home. But no, the teacher just made it for him. He also won a fancy dress and a colouring competition that year purely, I think, because they felt sorry for him. But because of that he ran riot in school, while learning very little, until towards the end of the year he was moved to a stricter teacher who started sending him out of class. But she still couldn't get him to behave because I think he'd ruled the roost for too long. I think if I hadn't moved him he would have ended up being expelled. But I moved him to a more local school for the next school year, got him up to speed a bit academically over the summer, drummed it in to him that this was a fresh start, and thank God he had a strict teacher who he wanted to please so I never had a bit of bother from him at primary school behaviour wise again.

They tell your son to just keep away from him? How about they tell the other kid to keep away from your son????
Speaking as a parent who's daughter was bullied for a long time.....I wish she'd thumped them back at the start of it all. Maybe she wouldn't be the mess that she is now.

I'd tell your son to give his bully a smack in the face.

Class bully came up and slapped me across the face. I naturally saw red and hit her back, massive fight ensued.

She never said another word to me and her older sister stopped bullying my brother.

School is survival of the fittest

Scotland doesn’t have governors, and has policies that HEAVILY protect the rights of the bully, and wholly disregard the rights of the victim. The school has no ability to permanently exclude unless the child brings in a knife and tried to use it (unlikely at 6). They cannot even move the child from their current class without the bully’s mum’s permission. It’s insane! Sorry, I mean’progressive’. I’d just hope the child moves on to another victim soon. In my experience of bullies in Scottish schools that’s all that can be done.

honing in on the ‘safeguarding of my child’ helps to concentrate teachers minds on how serious you are though.

My son sounds just like this boy, my son does have sen (that doesn't make it ok I know).
Can I just say how incredibly hard it is to get an EHCP and my sons school is trying there hardest to fight to get him one so he can have a one to one.
It's so hard because I know some parents probably feel like you and I don't blame them tbh.
We do everything we possibly can but he is nearly 9 with an emotional mind of a 3 year old.

Shouting and pushing back sounds like a good way to go forward, this way it's very clear language that most children can understand.

Let's be honest hes 6 . Hes not really going to hurt the boy badly . But it will make home think twice about doing it again

Yes. Tell him to lump him one on the nose.

This. He will continue to be a bully until he's getting it back too. School is clearly failing in dealing with him, but that doesn't mean the kids need to accept it.

I was quite a mild mannered bookish child.

My dad told me if I was bullied, it was OK to hit back. I did. Never got bullied again; that was the end of that.

I think if it's this much of a problem then you need to go into school and see them. Note just over the phone. Even if you have to take time off to do it. Schools seem to take more notice/action if you do this. They realise it's more of a problem if you insist on seeing them.

Don't even have to call it a push. Just describe it as moving boy put of his personal space. If your dc is rule adherent talk about and practise mainting personal space. Get him to practise with you

I really hope you get it resolved, OP. It's horrible any child has to put up with this shit.

Will you let me know if anything works for your son, please?