Clique at gym classes

And 4 months later you're still going on about it?

They don't sound like a great crowd but life is full of people like that.

You're going to wear yourself out if you don't learn to forget about them.

Oh please. They aren't a clique, they're just a group of friends. Grow up.

Maybe you're getting a glare because they can smell the playground attitude off you.

Just ignore them. They're friends - why take it so personally. If a woman "glares" at you, just smile and say "Hello." You might be surprised.

In what way(s) does it impact your ability to do the class?

I agree it doesn't sound fun. Do you know the gym manager? Might you be able to have a little chat - I would mention the scenario you observed with the new member. That won't be a good look business-wise from the management point of view.

Sounds like my place and tbh, every gym I've been to. There's always a group of overly keen and overly familiar teachers pet types - always!
I keep myself to myself and get on with it. I don't care. That's their social life it seems so let them crack on. Annoying when the instructor takes part though.

Fuck ‘em. You’re there for the class, as long as you’re getting something out of it. Go, do your class, go home.

Urgh. I really dislike gym class cliques. They definitely exist and are usually much worse when the instructor is involved in the clique themselves. They can really dominate the space and make newcomers feel unwelcome. I used to just show up, do the class and then bugger off. I’d pass the time of day if people spoke to me or smiled at me but otherwise just minded my own business.

I’m an instructor now, and I don’t seem to get cliques in my classes. Sure, there are regulars who chat to each other but most often chatting in pairs or threes- and not always chatting to the same people every week. And they don’t actively exclude others and in fact most of them make efforts to be really helpful and friendly to newcomers. I make it my mission to learn people’s names and to chat to different people at each class. I always talk to newbies before the class and always try to catch up with them afterwards to see how they got on. Some of my participants keep themselves to themselves and make it fairly clear they’re not really there for the social side and that’s fine, I’ll greet them and smile at them but otherwise leave them alone. If I saw a clique developing in one of my classes, I’d make an extra effort to chat to others, especially those who have come to class on their own.

This sounds a lot like my gym where the same clique of around 6 women are there almost every weekday for the morning class, be it HIIT, Pilates, Spin or Strength....it's almost like they own the place.

You’re not there to make friends. You’re there to work out. Show up, do your job, and leave. These people are nothing to you. Just keep showing up. Things will change over time.

Give them the death stare back then.

And I'd handle them by saying hello and making a bit of small talk if the opportunity arose, otherwise ignoring to get on with the class. Try talking to the 4-5 people who are not in the clique maybe.

MN often refers to cliques but surely it is just a group of friends.

I don't think establishing a friendship group and gravitating towards those friends is a bad thing.

Weird to glare at people of course but can't help wondering whether you're imagining that. If a friendship group is a nefarious clique, maybe a glare is just someone looking over at you.

I would just ignore them.

Weird for grown adults to behave in such a way, I've never witnessed it at a gym class.

This all the way.

I'm a massive gym goer (although 33 weeks pregnant and haven't stepped foot in a gym since November) never once in all my years have I ever felt the need to join a clique or leave because of one. Just pretend they don't exist. Smile at them when you enter the class, say hi & bye etc. Dont let them get to you!

Promise you'll soon forget they are even there.

You aren't payong for this high-school reunion, are you? If so, find a place where you feel OK

I don't speak to anyone at gym classea ao wouldn't bother me, you arrive, do the class, and leave surelg

If you're early for class have your phone with you and be busy on your phone. Then put it down just as the class starts. That way you'll notice them less.

I always have my phone handy for occasions like this.

OP if you really like the class, and feel this is putting you off, could you mention something to the instructor about people 'hogging' places.

The other stuff like chatting and laughing you can just ignore, but the hogging spaces will piss me off.

I get there super early and go in one of their places I love pissing off the Royston Vasey lot!

Problem is it can be fairly common, you might find common ground with one of the other people.

I went to a new class and the instructor had a bunch of mates who came, stood at the front and giggling and getting loads of attention. I remember asking the instructor for some advice and she could not be arsed as she was in some private joke with her mates.
her mates stopped coming though, I kept going for a bit and then went somewhere else. Cue instructor putting up sad fishing FB posts about where all her clients had gone, and being super nice to me in a shop. Too little too late.

How do you/would you handle such a clique in your exercise classes?

I wouldn't because I'd find it hard to give a shit 🤷‍♀️

Kill them with kindness. Every time. Plaster a big wide smile and loudly say, “GOOD MORNING!!! How are we all today?!”. I did it once with the school mums stasi.

Either it makes them feel so under pressure to respond and talk to you, or they will quickly look away - which I always found really funny, and made sure they knew that. But I continued to do it every day without fail and eventually they spoke to me every day - not that I have a shit about them, but I counted it a great personal victory to have turned the tables on them.