To be despairing over 10 year old's screen addiction!!

I find time limits work. So weekend/holidays they can have them from when they get up to 930/10am, one hour after lunch and then from 5.20pm - 6.15pm ish and then 6.55pm - 8.45pm. No screens at meals (including us).

That's still about 6 hours a day which seems plenty! Obvs if we have plans they will miss some of those times.

You might not want to hear the "drastic" solution but that is the only solution.

Take it away and actively explore other interests with him before he is old enough to need a phone for secondary school/socialising/going out with friends etc.

Get an app and set a daily limit, much easlier than trying to get him to put it down each time

Take the phone away. It's simple. He doesn't need it.

That’s ridiculous, sorry. You’re the parent. You just don’t allow him the phone.

If it’s really that bad, he needs addiction support. See your GP.

Can you show him the social media documentary that talks about how dangerous it is? I've forgotten the name of it sorry.

You need to have some hard boundaries. Both of my children are very screen fixated. We have had to stop screen time during the school week. We allow if Friday after school and in the evening on Saturday and Sunday (from 5pm till 8pm). If I didn’t restrict it they would play video games 24/7. For the first couple of weeks it will be hard be he will adjust quickly if you don’t allow changing of the rules.

Yeah my ds of the same age is the same. He will come off it if pressed but it often involves a lot of stropping and attitude. He does a lot do other activities and gets plenty of exercise but when he's at home all he wants to do is game or watch YouTube.

When I pull him up on it his reply is "well you're always on your phone"

You probably don't want to hear it but it's your fault. Why was he ever given more than an hour a day on school days or 2 hours a day at weekends? If you just let him go on it whenever he wants it is pretty obvious he is likely to get addicted. In your post you say you don't want to stop him on it. To break the addiction you'll need to remove it altogether until school holidays begin and then limit to 2 hours a day. Try signing him up for Sports clubs, Art or music so he has other interests and makes other friends.

You need drastic urgent solutions whether you want them or not. You need to get him off the screen and out of addiction now. Tell him that as of today he will only be allowed it 2 hours a day, reducing by 10 mins every day. That he isn't allowed to have it at the table when eating, it can't go to the loo with him and if he acts up he will be banned from having it the following day. Find him other ways to occupy his time. And limit your own screen time

Get rid of all his gadgets. And nobody should be on phones at mealtimes - that's just good manners & common sense.

You can't wean an addict.

Take the phone away. It's bad for him.

He is so rude and badly behaved if I say we need to turn it off to go somewhere.

This is known as 'parenting' - we are meant to be teaching our children. Since when did we expect perfect behaviour from our kids? So, set boundaries and be a parent - it's not nice sometimes, it's nt easy, - but it's about being a parent

https://www.spacetalkwatch.co.uk/blogs/news-updates-spacetalk-watch/4-ways-to-help-your-child-overcome-screen-addiction

With any addiction it doesn’t work to cut down slowly. You have to go cold turkey and you can’t avoid drama. Unless you’re someone who is trauma or confrontation avoidant just address that as part of the process.

If it makes you feel any better, DS, now 22, had similar issues...I felt bad, it was tough, nothing really changed... He's just finished his degree at a red brick uni ( and expects to do well based on results), has been living with his gf for the past nine months and has lots of friends. Please don't worry too much.

My 9 year old is similar- but he doesn't have a phone - has only the computer in the living room so i see and know everything he does and watches mainly roblox, youtubers playing roblox. I force him out and he has specific times he can have if he agrees certain behaviour and goes nicely wherever we are going.

My almost 12 year old has a phone as he walks to school on his own. Strict timers on it. Stays with me at night. It is just for him to let me know he’s reached school and then left school. In school they have to hand their phones in. If he wants to watch something then that’s always on MY computer in a communal space. If he’s addicted to the point where personal hygiene is suffering then I am afraid you do have to go cold turkey.

Most adults are pretty addicted to their smartphones (I am on it mindlessly a lot) so why do we think that kids will be able to control their own impulses vis-a-vis phones?

The way I think about it is this. We get one childhood- as adults like DH and I they will probably spend a considerable amount of their lives in front of screens for work or leisure. So while it’s possible I want their childhood not to be same.

I am watching with interest as I feel my 11 year old has too much screen time. Not an easy thing to admit as a parent!

He's 10. If you can't enforce rules at this age you're going to be really screwed when he's at secondary. His screen addiction is entirely on you, and your wishy washy approach to weaning him off it is the reason he feels he can have a meltdown if you try and limit his screen time. You need to get a handle on this now while you still can.

We were the same. I left them watching YouTube and told them for every five minutes it was running after I told them to turn it off, there was a week's ban. They got to 17 weeks.... It was peaceful and their behaviour improved. They are also much better about turning it off when asked 😆

After constant arguments and nastiness to each other, repeated warnings, I removed Minecraft in March. Honestly, it took a week of whining but they were like different children. They begged for it at half term (DD now 11) so I let them have an hour a day. The squabbles, the refusal to do anything after their time was up was shocking. The first morning back DD said "oh, I've got homework"...so it's gone again until the summer.

phones are locked into downtime at 7pm - 7 am. They have no games except a maths game on their phones. Allowed contacts at all times me and DH and BIL.
No phones in bedroom after we've eaten. If they want music, they can play it over their speakers.
Of DD doesn't come to the table when asked (within reason, I'll give her a few minutes grace to finish something) she loses the phone for a day.

I set timers for my kids.. when they pick it up I say “ for how long? Set your timer now please” and we all have 20 mins screen time and then we all put it away.. I let them watch TV though, and they have much more free time on this… but I figure some adult somewhere has looked at content, age ratings etc on cbbc iplayer

I would also really limit it. Talk to him and say "this is no good for your developing mind and unfortunately we have been to lax in letting you have all this freedom with technology. Because we love you, we are going to start implementing some rules and from tomorrow, x, y and z will apply."

If he kicks off then give him a warning saying "i understand youre upset and this is partly our fault for letting it get to this stage, BUT if you continue arguing, you will be outright banned from all electronics for a whole day. We are trying to compromise with you, but we don't have to, so bear that in mind."

Whatever you say to him, you MUST follow through with.

Good luck.

Whose phone is it?

No one I know here has a phone in primary school 😬 a ten year old is only year 5 or 6 in England.

I can't imagine giving a child free reign to a device at that age, sorry.

Adults find them addictive enough. Just take it away until he's older. At the least impose a strict limitation that it is weekends only and a time limit.