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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that there's no solution for me (fat legs and the beach)

135 replies

JMSA · 08/06/2023 20:12

I am very overweight and am going to Greece next month. I am making a massive effort to lose weight, but let's face it, I've left it too late.
I really envy overweight people who have decent legs! You can conceal a flabby stomach or bum with good 'shaping' swimwear. But you can't cover up fat, toddler-like legs. Of course you can put on a sarong or cover-up while wafting around the pool. But the thought of the dreaded walk between sunlounger and sea/pool is leaving me cold! I'd look ridiculous with one of the skirted swimsuits, and there's no point because the skirt is too short. Swim leggings might make me stand out more than just my actual legs!
Is there a solution I haven't come across?
Thank you.
PS I've always had bad legs, even at my slimmest. The varicose veins and corned beef tinted skin don't help the cellulite either.

OP posts:
Midnightpony · 08/06/2023 22:58

Fake tan and fake confidence

PhoenixIsFlying · 08/06/2023 22:58

Having "fat legs" doesn't mean you are not beautiful. You are more than just your legs xx

Nevergoingtowin · 08/06/2023 22:56

In the nicest possible way, everyone else is too busy worrying about their own insecurities to notice anyone else.
Have a fabulous time OP, enjoy the sea, sun and salt on your skin. Not hidden under layers x

Hollyppp · 08/06/2023 22:53

Honestly no one cares, no one is looking. Everyone is just thinking about their own lives, enjoying their own holiday.

Try to remember that :)

FrostyFifi · 08/06/2023 22:38

@TinyRebel oh bless you, you sound so self-conscious. Anyone who judges other people's leg shape is a vile individual whose opinion is of no consequence. I know it's easier to say than to believe though.

TinyRebel · 08/06/2023 22:35

I have lipoedema OP. It’s basically ‘fat leg syndrome’ and is incredibly painful and embarrassing. I’ve never, ever gone swimming with my younger two (8 and 11) as it has got worse with each pregnancy. I can’t wear leggings and am so envious of fellow fattiest who can disguise with a floaty dress or tunic, leggings and DMs!

I cry if anyone so much as glimpses my cankles and won’t even go for my smear test as I’m so embarrassed- I’d rather flash my bum and bits to the world than have anyone catch sight of my legs.😳

Some of the vitriol I’ve seen on social media about fat ankles and odd shaped legs makes me realise that women really ARE judged on this.

I wear one of those full length kaftans you can pick up from a tenner from TK Maxx. They’re made of light, quick drying synthetic material so I just wade into the sea in them and have a swim. Absolutely dread the annual beach holiday, so feel your pain.

Original poster
JMSA · 08/06/2023 22:33

Gosh, I've just finished reading and I'm amazed at all your supportive and helpful comments.
Thank you all!
A quick question about fake tans. Are these done by a person or machine? And I've heard that they just come off in the pool. Is this not true?

OP posts:
Original poster
JMSA · 08/06/2023 22:26

Waystation · 08/06/2023 21:35

Fake tan works wonders but the best thing I found was changing the conversation - instead of “I hate my legs” it became “my legs are strong and have never let me down” sounds at bit woo but it worked for me.

This makes me want to cry for the legs I'm always criticising.
They're amazing, aren't they?!

OP posts:
AmeliaWarnerBros · 08/06/2023 22:23

OP, I'm disgustingly overweight ATM & recently went swimming. Nobody- I mean nobody- looked, & there were a load of chavs there- teens etc.

Have a fab time. And if you want to lose weight, do it when you're ready, & for you. Not just for a holiday 🌹

Original poster
JMSA · 08/06/2023 22:22

Thank you so much for all the comments - just working my way through them now!
For those suggesting a fake tan, do you do these yourself or go somewhere to have it done? I think I'd prefer the latter, despite the embarrassment.

OP posts:
bert3400 · 08/06/2023 22:21

Fake tan is you best friend... cover your whole body in it and forget about every one else ,,, you will never see them again....but looking bronzed and golden will make you feel awesome 😊....that's all that matters

Original poster
JMSA · 08/06/2023 22:20

NeighbourhoodonWatch · 08/06/2023 21:02

Definitely get fake tan.

I do this before every holiday as I am naturally very pale - by the time it fades I am feeling more confident.

I must be the only person who gets whiter as the holiday progresses 😂

GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
MicrowaveRice · 08/06/2023 22:15

midsomermurderess · 08/06/2023 21:59

You’ll see all shapes and sizes, ages on the beach in Greece, wearing bikinis, enjoying themselves, not bothering remotely about how other people look, being unself-conscious about themselves. It’s delightful, refreshing.

This! I love Greece... all shapes and sizes in all sorts of costumes, just enjoying beautiful weather, beaches and food. I'm 4 stone overweight and wear a bikini ... fuck it!

Hellhath · 08/06/2023 22:13

Everyone has their 'something'. My legs are fine but I hate my overhanging, five children, two surgeries, stretch marked stomach. But I tan it, lay on the beach /pool and cover it with a sarong or long vest top when I'm walking around. My friend has great tits, a fairly flat tummy but massive hips and arse. We love the sun and the sea, and life is precious so just live it.

Bucketheadbucketbum · 08/06/2023 22:11

Fake tan!

Lesschubtolove · 08/06/2023 22:10

Would you wear a burkini? Obviously minus the head cover? There are som fabulous ones if you really do want to cover up.

i personally don’t think you should out of shame and pure body consciousness, every body is a bikini body, one just needs to put it on (if one wishes)

KarmaStar · 08/06/2023 22:07

Hey,fake it until you make it!C
Strut across that beach like you own it lovely.
if anyone looks at you they will see a strong confident woman,will think good for you 💖 and carry on doing what they are doing and not give you another thought.
show you are embarrassed and I think people will look because they will see you are uncomfortable .
when you're 90 and stuck at home you will look back and think I wish I had that body now,I'd go out there and flaunt it!so do so.
love your body.💐🍹enjoy your holiday.

ladyofshertonabbas · 08/06/2023 22:06

I had a look for something to hide legs today. Seafancy have quite long skirted costumes. Land’s end have some board shorts on the longer side. It’s out of stock, but the miso swim skirt is really longgggg. I have awful tone on my legs, it’s not fun.

Nagado · 08/06/2023 22:01

I think the best solution is to realise that 95% of people are too busy either enjoying themselves or worrying about their own wobbly bits to be judging you. 4% of people might be people watching but won’t give you a second glance or a second thought and 1% of people might be judging you for not having skinny or toned legs, but what do you care? You don’t know them. You’ll never see them again. Their opinion is irrelevant. And they might have a perfect body, but you know their face is going to look like a foot. Or their eyebrows are going to look like a geography teacher’s. Very few of us are perfect specimens and those who are physically perfect won’t be sat on the beach, judging you. Get out there and enjoy yourself.

coodawoodashooda · 08/06/2023 22:00

Beachbodyready · 08/06/2023 20:16

I wear swim leggings and they make me feel like I’ve got a yoga body. I love them and don’t feel at all self conscious

Where do you get these?!!!!!

GeekyThings · 08/06/2023 21:59

I've always had awful legs too, they're slightly deformed which makes me very knock-kneed, and burns my thighs if they're bare. As in actual skin off!

I always used to wear longer board shorts with a tankini top, but lately I wear long swimming shorts (they go just below the knee) as they are better for swimming in. I've had multiple compliments about both, and it's so much more comfortable and enjoyable when you're not constantly adjusting yourself. When you look around a beach all you see is loads of women picking at their backsides and hoisting up their straps - I don't know how anyone can think that this is comfortable. It's like a mass delusion!

midsomermurderess · 08/06/2023 21:59

You’ll see all shapes and sizes, ages on the beach in Greece, wearing bikinis, enjoying themselves, not bothering remotely about how other people look, being unself-conscious about themselves. It’s delightful, refreshing.

nancy75 · 08/06/2023 21:55

I’ve come to the point in life where I’ve realised if the best thing someone has to think about is how fat my belly/bum/legs are then they must be having a pretty shit time on holiday & they’re welcome to look!
Nobody really cares & if they do - well sod ‘em. Life’s too short to worry about who might be looking at my dimply arse.

Blinkingheckythump · 08/06/2023 21:47

Literally no one cares other than you what your legs look like. I don't mean that horribly, but they really don't. On the slimmest of chances some nasty soul silent judges your legs, so what?! That's on them not you. What's on you is not enjoying yourself because you're worried what strangers (not only strangers but stranger's in a foreign country that you're so unlikely to ever see again) think about your legs. Go, have fun and don't worry!