To think perimenopause can make you feel all over the place mentally

This has just made me question myself. I had the coil put in 3 years ago due to anaemia/heavy periods, I thought it made my rages better but now I’m not so sure.
Im frequently angry, feel like I’m always nagging, and don’t ever feel settled. Like I’m waiting for something to happen, but it never does.

Yes. I feel unhinged quite a lot of the time. Other than for about a week after my period.

I think it might be time to go to the dr.

Reading with interest. I'm nearly 47, on hrt, but still experiencing the meh feeling. I don't want to work or parent anymore. I feel like I was sold a massive lie and the choices of the last twenty years are now condemning me to at least another ten years of service to others.

God I don't want cats and books, I want to get pissed and have inappropriate sex with deeply inappropriate men and get tattoos and say fuck it to everything.

Books and cats are decades away, I hope. Then again it would be the safer choice; at the moment I am barely holding off lobbing a hand grenade into my life.

im in the same situation, turning 50 this month with two autistic children, and a depressed partner . I have also just had to have my beloved cat of 16 years pts . Life feels really tough at the moment .

Had it all , thought I was losing my mind or having a breakdown .upsets me to even talk about it , HRT saved my life . I have my physical and mental health back. I work out every day and do yoga twice a day , get plenty of sleep , absolutely no alcohol. Many people around me didn't really understand or care what I was going through with peri and it's the same for many women . I have patches and vaginal progesterone, I made a gorgeous box to keep them in and I call it my "Happy Box".
My mental health comes first now and if anyone around me doesn't like it well they can just piss off 😉

We cant all be wrong re weight gain. Doctors dont tell u that side of it. Im on 50 evorel. Big heavy hips now. My friend said her middle has got thicker. She on patch too. Its really frustrating.

I'm 48 and got the coil 8 months ago after polyp removal. Since then I feel so emotionally unstable, anxious and angry. I'm not sure if is related to the coil or coincidence, but I hate how I'm feeling and never feel relaxed.

I would like to have a break from marriage, to see if I’d be better alone. A lot of what he does and doesn’t do really pisses me off, I boil with rage at times.
I need to know if it’s him or me.

I feel so out of control these past months I have actually worried for my own mental health .

I long for a tiny, minimal but cosy pied a terre in some gorgeous city where I would live alone with my books.

Life would be going on all around me & I could open my door & visit a gallery or restaurant on a whim

We live in the countryside & while I've never loved it, I actively hate it now. Everything is a palaver.

Can I join?
I'm 53 and utterly miserable 90% of the time these days it seems. I have a 17.5 year old dd & a husband and I feel done with them all which is terrifying. I'm feeling more & more detached each day from the life I've always enjoyed.

I flip from being barely tolerant to boiling fizzing red hot rage in a split second. I feel like I hate my husband now.

I'm the main breadwinner with a full time high pressure job. He's a self employed creative who is very highly regarded but super flaky with money & often has huge long gaps between payments & periods of no work. We've been together almost 25 years & in these past 2 years i feel internally seething that I have sacrificed SO much of life to enable his creative ambition.

On the outside we look like a middle aged successful couple. In reality we're 90% of the time struggling for money & stressed out. Dh just got diagnosed with ADHD & while it's really only a validation of what I've long suspected I'm finding it difficult as the illusion that 'this next project will be better' has now evaporated. I spend A LOT of time propping him up in all kinds of ways

We have a teen & she's great but I honestly feel I dont have the bandwidth for guiding her too..

Parents beset with medical issues who truthfully have been an emotional drain fir 20 years now for one reason or another

I feel like my empathy is well & truly USED up & I have nothing left to give anyone. And I don't want to find anything to have to give anyone.

I am bone weary & having some health issues of my own.

I had 6 months between my last 2 periods & thought that was it, I was finished and BAM back into it with a hoffific 10 day heavy bleed that left me wiped out.

Ah, you ladies are my people. I’ve sailed through and never thought menopause would be a biggy . How naive I was and I empathise with so many of your experiences. I drive myself mad with the anxiety, short fuse, brain fog, lack of concentration, fatigue, weight gain, lack of interest in anything. I’m on hrt and it helps but I still feel I just want go sit by a beach with my cats and read a book.

I'm just coming out the other side with all this.

Had horrible psychological issues with peri but found getting the right levels of estrogen and progesterone via patch/tablets/coil helped a lot.

Acupuncture, using essential oils, doing a CBT course, meditation, establishing a good sleep routine, exercise, reducing UPFs all helped too.

I can so relate to the 'meh' and can't be arsed attitude. What didn't help was imposter syndrome and the brain fog. So upsetting in a professional environment, I couldn't string a sentence together.

I would suggest a chat with your GP first, see what help is available

Was all online because during covid

@Iceicebabytoocold i went to the Bristol menopause clinic. They were really good 😊

Where would I go to see someone privately? Did your GP refer you?

I wouldn't mind a padded cell if i could take my book.

I’m on HRT - have been for 5 years - and I haven’t gained weight. However I’m on oestrogen progesterone & testosterone and I do think the testosterone makes a difference and it’s a real shame most GPs won’t prescribe it. I have to get mine privately.

I do find that I give far fewer fucks than I used too & I very much enjoy that though it makes work far more annoying than it used too. I just want to retire & do whatever I want.

This sums me up to a tee.

i can tell when I ovulate due to pain & slight spotting. The next day? I’m like the person who wants to be an old cat and stare out of the window. My mood doesn’t plummet, i just feel blank. Or tearful. My mind goes fuzzy. I don’t want to do anything. Then the anxiety starts. Pre-period, I go off my rocker with anxiety and low mood. I want to cry. Period comes, things get better.

Then, I go the complete opposite way. I start with a brief day of anxiety where I again, feel off my rocker. but then it’s a good week, I am like a fucking bouncing rocket of productivity, ideas, I can clean the house in two hours flat, do all my work, excel with my child and feel like mum of the year. Untouchable.

then ovulate and ppppfffftttttt, the balloon has burst and it all goes bad again.

it’s tied to my cycles, no doubt. Noticed it years ago. But recently, it’s got really bad. I’m about to turn 38 so I’m wondering if it’s the beginning of perimenopause.

excited for the next 10 years if so 🙄

I have no doubt about any of this. But well balanced, correctly prescribed HRT should not do any of this. However, and unfortunately, many GPs do not understand or even know how to properly prescribe HRT, they just follow guidelines blindly, and when something does not work/solve the issues, they're out of their depth and don't know what to do. This is why patches are particularly bad, oral HRT too, because neither can be tweaked for the individual.

Using me as an example, I take the lowest dose of oestrogen possible, along with the highest dose of progesterone. My GP has me on the opposite. I also take testosterone, something many GPs won't/can't prescribe, and for many, without testosterone, their hormones still aren't balanced hence a myriad of issues. And really that's what it is all about - balancing hormones. It's a specialism, and most GPs just are not qualified.

If whatever you're taking isn't working and still causing issues, insist on being referred to a menopause clinic or specialist. Or if you can afford it, see a specialist privately. Most are happy to send a prescription for your GP that can be dispensed by the NHS.

I get incredibly angry for all the women on HRT who are still having issues due to incorrectly prescribed/dosed HRT. It really shouldn't be like this.

I could have written this post except I’m a bit younger. It’s awful! I’m irritable and have no energy to do anything.
I’m on HRT and have gained almost 2 stones. I hate it when people spout the ‘it doesn’t cause weight gain bollocks’ I’m yet to meet anyone who hasn’t gained weight with it. Like others have said, it’s mostly around my middle too. No amount of dieting or exercise helped so I’ve recently reduced the dose from 50 to 25 and am slowly starting to lose a few pounds. It is coming off much slower than it used to though.

Yes me too. Feel overwhelmed by pretty much everything. Worry myself to death about teenage daughter who is a handful. Want to run away and live alone with the dog with no phone service! Contemplate this on a weekly basis. Been on HRT a few months now- not sure it makes any difference. My life is stressful and I am unable to get any perspective on anything .

Interesting that you mention testosterone. A friend has been on testosterone for about three years and swears by it: says its been much more effective for her than HRT. I am doing pretty well on HRT but I do like the sound of the additional energy and focus.

The GP who prescribed HRT to me said testosterone wasn't recommended though and said I'd have to go down the private medicine route for this. Who would you go to for this?