To think perimenopause can make you feel all over the place mentally

This is so interesting! I’m glad you got helpful help. Would you mind sharing which specialist you saw?

I'm interested to see how many posters wish they could just live alone with their dog or cat though as my pissed-off-ness with nurturing definitely extends to pets as well

That would be me - I used to yearn for a dog and I'm so relieved it wasn't practical at the time as now I just see it as yet another ongoing chore. I don't have children either and how wrong the people were who said I'd regret it - a further source of great relief.

DH is okay as he fucks off for work for long periods of time, and actually makes my life easier when he is back, so he can stay. He's very practical and handy. It's remarkable how attractive that has become. Twenty year old me would be utterly baffled.

The anxiety is doing my head in. I’ve always been able to cope with everything and I can still fake it, but it’s extremely tough. I keep hoping it’ll pass. Life has been hard the past few years and I need a break.

I'm only 43 but also feeling the same. Just cannot be arsed at all, with anything, I only seem to get a burst of energy to do anything when I'm under pressure and almost out of time so I kind of thrive on the panic. I used to be so organised with housework, paperwork, planning for days out, holidays and kids birthdays etc, but it's all gone out the window. My mum did pass away suddenly and unexpectedly in March this year and I think that has made it worse, but I'm pretty certain I was feeling quite like this before anyway. I'm on the Depo injection and unsure about when and if I should change hormones at some point...

I’m 51 and for the past 6 months-ish, I’ve been overwhelmed by wave after wave of anxiety and panic attacks. I feel constantly jangled up and have no idea why,
or whether HRT would help or make things worse.
I have a severely disabled 9-year-old so no chance of being left the hell alone.
Bring on the cats and books!

Watching this thread with interest. I'm only 41 but have pcos and things have definitely changed. I.e. I'm now having periods 🤦 yippee! Has anyone gone in hrt and has a diagnosis of pcos? My hormones are already screwed so reluctant to mess around with an already messed up system. Peri symptoms are mainly the meh feeling, lack of libido and anxiety which has never been there.

I can't agree more with everyone. Most days I really want to tell my kids to f off and leave me alone.

I love that it’s 98% yanbu

Haha I dunno either @ssd but I'll take a few years of a rollercoaster before the tea/books/gardening truly kicks in. I shall consider it a last hurrah and wear my leather trousers as often as possible in the meantime.

Oh god, you've still got hope

I don't know whether to pity or admire you

Agree with this. Early 50s and am at the point where I'm sick of all the stuff that needs doing all the time. Job, house, DH, teens, primary aged DC, pets, elderly parents. It's that feeling that there is always something to do/look after/sort out/worry about/take care of.

I recognise a lot of the symptoms others are describing and whilst I know a lot is down to peri menopause I do also think you get to a stage of life where you're just a bit bored of the monotony of life, work, parenting and the rest of it all.

I'm interested to see how many posters wish they could just live alone with their dog or cat though as my pissed-off-ness with nurturing definitely extends to pets as well. Fortunately we only have small furries but they've become part of the daily grudge and grind for me which sounds awful but it's true.

God I feel this. I'm really hoping HRT helps, due to start soon.
I look back at my career and genuinely have no idea how I accomplished things. Some days I can barely log on to my work computer without anxiety. I doubt myself at every turn.
My kids have had huge struggles and I'm worried about other relatives. I would really love to run away (and take my DP because he really keeps me afloat)

🤣🤣 this should be the poster for menopause it's great

Get pissed
Inappropriate sex
Fuck the lot of ya!

too right 😂

I will be 48 this year, am on HRT which isn't perfect but has curtailed the worst of physical symptoms and dampened down my terrible rages and the urge to drive my car into the sea.

But I really wish everyone and everything would just piss off and leave me alone. I want to ditch my phone, and the computer and just potter in the garden, read books and bake cakes.
My DH is very hands on with DS and round the house but honestly I still feel overwhelmed by it all.
Every afternoon as it creeps round to me having to get in the car and waste 45 mins of my day in traffic for a school run I grow more resentful.

It’s definitely changed how I feel.

I care less about certain things but also a bit zoned out

I can relate to so much of this. I'm inching towards 50 and just can't be fucked with most people or doing anything, I get overwhelmed by the most trivial shit, I desperately want to just live in a cottage in the sunshine somewhere.

My emotions feel sort of numb and flattened, I'm not particularly weepy but I'm very irritable.

Yes maybe this is part of it. I'd like someone to 'look after' me for a bit - bring me a cup of tea and chocolate or run me a bath. Instead of asking me what's for tea or telling me we've run out of toothpaste or asking for a lift. Plus in work it's 'do this, do that'. It's all the same.

It must be hormonal though, all of it, I feel utterly ruled by my hormones, like I'm at the mercy of my hormones at any given moment. Sometimes my feelings and thoughts change by the hour, from despair to numb to weepy, to mild acceptance.

But what i really want to do, as I've said before on here, is sit at the window and stare out, like an old cat.

This is exactly how I feel. I don't want to do anything. Sick of rushing about everywhere and feeling breathlessly anxious about everything. Can't motivate myself at work. Can't be arsed to do all the repetitive household tasks. Can't even be bothered to read a book. I just want to sit down and do nothing.

I relate to a lot of this.

I think it's partly the hormonal stuff related to perimenopause, and partly an age/life stage thing. I (very unreasonably) sometimes feel as if my entire life just consists of people making demands of me (job, kids, even my poor DP).

I think it's just a very busy time of life (late 40s), and that all the demands can make you feel like wanting to run away or hide. It's exhausting keeping all the balls in the air.

Thank you for your advice x

🤣🤣 this should be the poster for menopause it's great .

Get pissed
Inappropriate sex
Fuck the lot of ya !

Now you see, I had about two years of feeling like this at age 44-45....and then BAM suddenly I want books and cats. No thoughts of sex or alcohol at all. I want to be alone drinking a cup of tea with my cat on my lap, purring.

I hear you, OP. It is so hard. I feel like what is the point? Why bother with anything? Where is the pleasure? I hate myself for feeling this way.

Same, but I'm 46, so have at least 2 decades to go 😩

I am peri but can't wait til it's all over and I no longer have periods.

Mine are every 3 weeks now and mega heavy. When I go for a wee, I feel like I'm wiping a cavernous hole.

Totally agree , firstly I read up on everything to do with menopause and HRT. I basically walked into my GP appointment and told her what I needed and wanted not the other way around . I have a great GP who really listens and when I have to go through something that makes me want to kill myself I want every damned thing that is available no excuses .

Setting the hrt aside, isn't it normal at this age to gain weight around the middle. I started this way, always had a flat stomach then noticed it getting more plump and not going flat anymore. This was before I started on hrt.