To think perimenopause can make you feel all over the place mentally

You can pump your body full of hormones and drugs to keep up wit other peoples demands or you can listen to your body.

My body was turning my into an anxious wreck. My hormonal rages were pissing off my kids and husband. I couldn't sleep, I was catastrophising, deeply depressed and started planning the easiest way to end it all.

My body was telling me I was oestrogen deficient and "pumping my body full of hormones" has given me my life back.

Stop being so fecking judgemental.

Oh 🙄 let’s not start on each other.

If you know, you know.

Extrapolated something I never said there, didn't you?

It is a pity you can’t see the value of your life or self esteem beyond work. Living to work sounds like avoidance.

Agree @Thepeopleversuswork - I bloody love what I do, and it gives me so much energy and passion, and loads of my self-esteem comes from it, rightly or wrongly.

Can't think of anything more guaranteed to make me feel ancient than sitting about at home with a poncho on sipping tea and staring out of the window.

I'd feel like I'd consigned myself to a long slow death.

😂😂 I am not sure I am waiting to die exactly 😅 but I do enjoy more space and time to myself. I physically need it now. Having lunch in the garden with my friends, going to yoga and having some quality helps me feel less overwhelmed. I am leaner not fitter, and eat considerably less now. I feel for me, it works living differently, more simply.

Good God I couldn't disagree more with this...

I'm 50 and I feel I'm at my absolute peak. I love working and can see myself working (in various ways) for another 30 years. I'm physically active, fitter than I have been for 20 years and I have a busy social life. I can't think of anything worse than "winding down", like waiting for death. What a depressing outlook.

Also there's the small matter that we can't all stop working just because we're menopausal. I'm the main breadwinner in my family.

If "listening to your body" means sitting around waiting to die give the hormones, please.

Not possible got quite a few years, unfortunately.

I had a hysterectomy when I was 44 because of a massive fibroid. I was warned my ovaries would probably pack in sooner rather than later but when I started experiencing symptoms I didn't join the dots about what was going on.

Totally identify with the "meh" feeling and not wanting to do anything, go anywhere, see anyone. And that was a good day. A bad day was panic attacks, insomnia and the most intense anxiety I'd ever experienced. Two different GPs prescribed antidepressants but that wasn't what I needed, it was HRT.

I know you've said you had bad experiences with it @Lifeswhatyoumakeit73 but there are different options. I don't manage well on the gel at all, and am allergic to one of hte brands of patches. But the other brand of patch is amazing and I wouldn't be without it. Worth speaking to your GP again?

I long be retired, to be left alone to potter in the garden for weeks, to never menu-plan, cook, shop, clean or organise anything ever again, sleep with my pets in the bed, drink wine every night and not give a shit about weight gain, and generally tell most people to get stuffed.

But no, 15 more years of this shit, at least.

My poor Grandmother was put on Valium around the time of perimenopause and was only taken off it 25+ years later. Unsurprisingly she suffered dementia a few years later.

I would down size or move to a cheaper area - look at your options? WFH is a godsend for at least some of the weeks. I do condensed days and psychologically it really helps.

You need a medal and a week on a silent retreat at a spa at the very least. Followed by a name change 🥇🎖️

I don’t necessarily disagree, but the small matter of finances and living in a country with a high cost of living, unfortunately don’t allow me to ‘listen to my body’. Financially I have no choice but to work full time, even though it’s bad for my health and is ageing me faster. I expect others will be in the same boat.

I feel exactly the same, but I see it as natural.
I feel overwhelmed because life IS overwhelming!
I feel knackered because most ot the time I am doing too much.
This is worse I believe for those of us that had children later.

Biologically we are physically past our best and should be winding down. We are not allowed to be tired and worn out by life as modern culture tells us we should always be o the go and producing.

Make the changes you need to in life, if that means part time work and more time pottering so be it. You can pump your body full of hormones and drugs to keep up wit other peoples demands or you can listen to your body.

Omg me too! My perimeno has been pretty mild as well. But I literally don't give a shit. It's so liberating but it hampers progress big time as one day I'm feeling really motivated and the next I'm a spotty bloated depressed mess.

The only thing keeping me going is my retirement plan, my brilliant friends and 1 day to myself in the week where I spend the school day in a kaftan and my AirPods in. Looking forward to that is the only thing that gets me through the week.

I'm hopefully transitioning to menopause as the flooding short cycles that started during covid have been replaced with one period last November and one in Feb and nothing since.

I feel so old but I don't give a shit.

Interestingly Superdrug online are stating to prescribe testosterone at a reasonable price. You have to have one of their blood tests first but I am tempted. My DH is quite a bit older than me and has more get up and go than I have. I'm on oestrogen and mirena and it has helped with sleep and some of the more physical symptoms.

I no longer have the confidence I once had.
I've been on local radio, local TV, national radio, have started very successful community groups from scratch...
But now?
I'm doing little bits of very poorly paid freelance
I've been asked to become a trustee of a large organisation...
Old me would have jumped, not ever questioned my qualifications/suitability...
But this new me?
I feel a fraud and doubt my own ability
It sucks

My sex drive has absolutely disappeared too. I think that if I still had one I would have left DH long ago.

Yep I have had it for about 10 years now. HRT didn't do anything, periods all over the place..... nothing for sxi months then every three weeks. The doctor even gave me acupuncture. Yes its gradually getting better but my sex drive has totally vanished. Been gone for about 18 months...... think this is normal?? Periods have stopped completely thank you!!! Good luck, might be worth trying alternative remedies like homeopathic medicine x

Ahh this is so depressing but I can fully empathise. I am 45 and have been on HRT for a year but still have not gotten it quite right so currently being reviewed.

I am sick of being responsible for everyone I work 13 hour days as a nurse, and when I come home I am spent, but, nooo I have to organise the food shop/meal plans medical/dental appointments (as I am a nurse apparently 🙄), honestly I love my dh but at weekends if I didn't plan and cook, we would eat shit from the freezer all the time.
I feel so crotchety I have gained a good 10kg due to anti-depressants and HRT( I believe) so, now I am at the gym and on a calorie controlled diet.

I don't want to do this anymore. I am lucky as my periods are not awful and are regular but what's the point of them now? At home It's always mum this and mum that and at work (I am a sister) I constantly hear my name being called. No-one appears to function without me, but god forbid I lose it, everyone looks at me like I am the worst person.
So I am on HRT & anti-depressants, no alcohol or chocolate, plenty of gym and walking oh and of course 13 hour days and plenty of housework, What's not to love 😫.

@Thepeopleversuswork

The oestrogen & progesterone took months to get right dosage as had sprays/gels and tablets before got the patch. Most of my friends said it worked best for them too.

Once that was levelled up I tried to get testosterone as you need the 3 hormones to work effectively.

I went to one doc in my practice and she said no as Testosterone is not NDA approved. I then went to another doc in the same practice with the results from the private tests (to fast track me) and i said I had low libido as that's the criteria to get it prescribed.

But the testogel gave me a big boost after 2 days. You will need to prove your levels are low first but my advice is "Go for it!"! I think I had high levels before meno so after this got replaced I felt much more like me 🥰 xx

ps I also read Davina McCall's Menopause book which was helpful. Good luck! 💓

Feel the same, doesn't help that I lost my Dad 7 months ago. Feel as if I'm questioning everything at the moment. Sounds shitty, but I almost regret being at home and working for myself which I've done since my kids were small. Pension pot tiny so I can hardly afford to retire. Things between me and DH not what they should be. Trying to start a new career, but feel as if I need to be on full power all the time and I'm not. Have been on HRT for two years. Like others have said, dont know how much of a difference it makes. Hate the responsibility of having a house thats like a spoilt brat demanding money and time to be spent on it, My 13 year old is beyond rude. He's just complained about dinner now. Hate the housewife role. Would love to live in a tiny apartment by myself with my dog with minimal domestic responsibility, but would like to move further into London.

While lucky enough not to be suffering from too many severe symptoms yet, I certainly notice that I have gained weight around my middle that I have never had an issue with previously even post pregnancy. Exercise, diet and sleep seem to be helping me right now - I fully understand that's not the same for everyone and it's not a given that I will continue to be ok.