To think perimenopause can make you feel all over the place mentally

F£&k that

I completely empathise and feel very much similar, especially wanting to not do anything and live simply! I manage by doing just that for one evening a week! And (perhaps this isn't such a good idea) lots of cake! And walking/exercising, nearly everyday. Also, I'm finding watching daft comedies really helps life my mood!

Utterly exhausted and totally lacklustre for the last 10 days. Period was 5 days late, suspect that's not helped...

Hi all,

I am early fifties, post menopausal, and having done a lot of research and had private consultations, this is what I've gleaned:

1 - I honestly don't think HRT brings weight gain. I think hormonal imbalance can do this and a lack of estrogen (compared to where you started out) def puts weight on the stomach. Plus, metabolism slows down - considerably - so you will be eating as you did, but probably need to start making dietary changes if you want to maintain or lose weight.

2 - whilst the NHS is not licensed, and your GP is not obliged, to give women testosterone, do ask for it. Refer to your low libido, as this is what the NICE guidelines refer to (and what your doctor will pay attention to). You will be prescribed a smaller amount of testosterone which is traditionally given to men - gallingly, whilst there is an Australian brand, Androfeme, medicated for women, it is not available on NHS only via private.

3 - many of you will develop osteoporosis without realising it - I did. HRT will help provide bone protection. Honesty, until you are told you have osteoporosis, you won't realise how much you care about your bone health.

4 - lift weights, go heavy! Join a weightlifting club! Honestly, it helps with all sorts of things, especially point 3 - and great for fat burning/weight loss

5 - I was, and still am, meh. It's really hard but I've learnt to accept the uncertainty and know it will pass.

Ah, my people.

I constantly feel exhausted and burnt out by lone parenting and all it entails, and I'm watching my small business slide down the toilet. I'm not getting many new customers or enquiries- I desperately need to do some serious publicity, social media campaign, SEO. Problem is the little voice in my head going "whoopee!" when I look at the prospect of a week with no work booked 😬 It's....so....hard....to motivate myself...

Funnily enough, I'm just coming out of the "inappropriate sex with inappropriate men" stage, which lasted several years. Unfortunately I didn't shut my FabSwingers profile down or update it, and have consequently found myself dating someone who is under the impression that I'm still an insatiable raving sex beast. I'm trying to find the best way to phrase "Sorry, that was last year's me, all I really want to do at the moment is go up on the moors and walk for miles in solitude".

I'm on HRT, but interested by the suggestion of testosterone. Not so much for my libido, but if it can help me with my get up and go so that I have the energy to save my business, that would be amazing.

Well done, and good luck.

Fingers crossed you’re successful 🤞🏻

Octopus45 I count my blessings every day. When I’m having a “meh” day, I’m still aware of them. I just feel crap!

I have a lot of this at the moment, but no physical symptoms. Periods as regular and annoyingly heavy / long as they've ever been.
Ive been wondering if im just burnt out but peri may explain a few things.

Wow @BaconAndAvocado it sounds as if you should count your blessings. Having loving, supportive parents still around must be lovely, as well as a no financial worries and a successful business. I'm aiming to get to your point re the business and finance, cannot magic parents back or mould my husband and two boys into who I'd like them to be unfortunately (I am grateful that they are all healthy).. Apologies, if this sounds like a race to the bottom post. I do think that walking, light exercise and meditation help, try to fit all three in during the day. Also agree that having a dog is awesome.

Totally sympathise with you OP.

So many mentions of wanting to be by the sea! I'm lucky enough to live be the sea and I'm writing this from our beach hut.

I have a small successful business which I love and feel very proud of, 3 healthy DCs, a great DH, no financial worries, both parents are loving and supportive, I have many friends, an outstanding dog......

I feel conflicted and self-obsessed and I try and talk myself out of feeling low and meh by counting my blessings but sometimes, maybe 50% of the time, I can't.

Reading all these posts has made me realise that exercise (apart from walking the dog) is not a part of my life....maybe that will fix things.

I am wondering if this is the reason why everything social bores me lately ?

@Toomanysquishmallows sorry for your loss, that is a lot of hard stuff all going on at once

I hope you find some strategies that work for you. I'd suggest just keep trying, it seems to take a varied and tailored approach, and need constant tweaking!

I've also learned a bit about my cycle, so I know how hormones rise and fall and why I might be feeling ragey/weepy/tired at various times. Which seems to help.

@Poolnoodlepoodle I know what you mean. I left my awful toxic husband 4 years ago, never looked back.

@ArabeIIaScott
Thats good advice actually, and I will definitely check out the book, thank you 😊

We only have one life, there needs to be some happiness.

Good for you

@Lifeswhatyoumakeit73
I experienced similar. I couldn't work out for a while if I was desperately unhappy, severely anaemic, or perimenopausal. I was awake all the time. I hated everyone.
I tried HRT and it didn't work. I was terribly allergic to the patches, and another one gave me a non-stop half-hearted period
I moaned to the GP and she listened (a good start) and said I could try gel/tablets. Nearly every symptom has gone, and I have had no side effects.
So it may be that (if you are open to HRT) you need to find the one that suits you. I am very, very glad I persisted. No weight gain, thank God.
I wouldn't say I feel normal, because I still don't give a shit about much. But I feel far more normal than I did.

@GCalltheway he. And yes, I've decided to just embrace it as one of the few things that feel good right now 🤷🏻‍♀️

What is a meno nurse?/

Can I have one???

This is pretty much what I do too, it hasn’t ‘cured’ me but it very much takes the sharp edges away and feels manageable most days. I really notice it if I stop. Pilates, yoga, meditation need to be made accessible and free to everyone.

Well it sounds like you at least have one good thing in your life if you are welcoming of her attentions.

Quite frankly a hug goes a very long way I find, we should do it more often everywhere like they do in Italy it’s a powerful instant healer. Feeling attractive and sexually alive even more so. As long as you are comfortable with it.

@GCalltheway we're very close, have helped each other through a lot of things, are probably heavily in emotional affair territory, have had a couple of near miss moments. It's all in the mix of the bigger picture of what's going on in my life.