I’ve been on a treadmill of stress since my lo was born 20mos ago. I won’t get into what that stress looked like, but it included severe med withdrawals 2 times and ptsd from that. Had medical complications post birth, just finished my second lot of Covid 7 weeks ago within in a year (it really affects me for some reason) but I was already burned out.
I don’t feel depressed as such - I feel low because I have zero energy - I had pretty bad weaning depression when I stopped bf and it can rear it’s head at certain hormonal times of the month but it’s getting better.
I feel like I haven’t had a break - I’ve had viruses since October on and off, either me, or LO, and I’ve never felt so much burn out in my life. I am putting her in nursery and my Dps help out a lot (I feel incredibly guilty but my body feels like it’s made of concrete). I also get stress dreams, panic attacks at night and general hair trigger emotions.
ive spoken to drs etc, been on antidepressants multiple times. Things which have helped is juicing everything healthy, eating etc. But I don’t believe this is PND. I believe it is total and utter burnout. I feel love and emotions for my LO but it’s like any tiny thing will feel like a massive ask, I feel overwhelmed on a cellular level. If I have depression it’s because I have no energy, not the other way around. I know this from having PND after breastfeeding which settled;where everything looked so bleak I just wanted to disappear. This is different.
LO pretty much sleeps through the night, all I can think about is how much I want more energy and wish I felt physically well.
ive had CFS ruled out, ive had so much testing and the only thing which came out was cortisol being out of whack (not clinically, not insufficiency) but a GP mentioned adrenal fatigue and exhaustion (I know people think this is a BS diagnosis). Also could be Long Covid I guess, but this burnout started before Covid as well.
anyone else experience these symptoms? Did it get better? I feel so low because I just want my energy so I can be with my LO - feel like such a bad mum and hate how involved my parents have to be because I physically don’t have the energy. My body will ache and shake when I’ve over done it.