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Original poster

Should MIL be allowed upstairs in our home?

287 replies

DisneyBaby · 01/06/2023 16:23

I grew up in a house where it was rude to go upstairs in someone else's house and even if the toilet was upstairs and I needed to go, I would say 'is it ok to use your toilet upstairs' etc...

This is the norm for most people isn't it?

My MIL always tries to find an excuse to go upstairs in our house and I'm really uncomfortable with it. Firstly it's messy and secondly I just feel like bedrooms etc are private. Am I alone in thinking this?

She sometimes makes out she's looking for something in my daughters room or says my daughter wanted to go up there etc. But other times she's said things like 'I bet you can see ..... from your bedroom window' and tried to go up to see something from my and DH room.

Would you have a problem with this?
I don't know why she feels it's acceptable...

OP posts:
SpringNotSprung · 01/06/2023 16:32

When my ILs came to stay, they were our guests and the guest room was upstairs. They had free run of the house except for our bedroom and MIL was boundaries enough not to dig about because she knew it was my house, not hers.

CurlewKate · 01/06/2023 16:32

Woman goes upstairs to pee in family member's house- hold the front page!!

CatsOnTheChair · 01/06/2023 16:31

Well, patents and PiL live far enough away that that nearly always stay, so, yes, they go upstairs.
I'd be very unimpressed if they found a reason to go into our bedroom tho.

35965a · 01/06/2023 16:31

I think it’s really rude. If the bathroom is upstairs I wouldn’t expect anyone to keep asking, obviously they should just use it. But going into people’s bedrooms is a no no

Comtesse · 01/06/2023 16:30

Bedrooms are private I don’t think toilets can be!

JMSA · 01/06/2023 16:30

Keep it tidy and problem solved.

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/06/2023 16:30

No, you are not alone in this, it's rude.

JMSA · 01/06/2023 16:29

You're being weird, sorry. You can't honestly tell your child's grandparent that they can't go in their grandchild's bedroom! What if your child wants to show them their toys or play with them up there?! Confused

BlackeyedSusan · 01/06/2023 16:27

Was brought up the same way.

kokotheguerilla · 01/06/2023 16:27

I don’t think anyone should have to ask if it’s ok to go upstairs to use your toilet every time, especially family. Maybe the first time they visit (but mainly so they know which room it is!).

Having said that, I don’t think people should be opening bedroom doors and snooping either. That’s weird. Shut all the doors so you can hear if she opens them and scoot up there to assert your boundaries?

Quitelikeit · 01/06/2023 16:27

I’d be surprised if she’s keen to mooch about upstairs

I feel like you are projecting onto her

In all honesty why not tidy your bedroom? I guarantee the woman isn’t interested in it at all

Nevermind31 · 01/06/2023 16:25

Let her son speak to her and tell her your bedrooms are private.
alternatively leave some sex you’d out for her to find