In thinking our landlord is being completely out of order?

Hopefully the fact that you've always paid your rent on time etc means that your current lettings agents will be able to provide you with a glowing reference for your next landlord - it sounds like you might be better off not relying on your current landlord to provide one.
You may want to consider changing the locks in the next place (which is legal to do - you just need to hang on to the original lock and replace it when you move out) to avoid this kind of problem arising again. Landlords are supposed to give you notice of visits/ repairs/ inspections, and turn up at times that are convenient for you.

He's being seriously out of order. His concern is the structure and general cleanliness of the property I.e not food or poo or something everywhere not the washing up or washing basket

That would be ideal. Not all landlords are tyrants. I hope you find a decent one. Xx

So, yes tenants have the above legal right to quiet enjoyment and your LL was bang out of order to inspect without notice, to comment on clutter, to dp plumbing when not a qualified plumber, etc etc.

BUT the reality of the current situation is the landlord has all the power and you have none. No fault evictions, section 21s, are still legal and if you piss him off he can serve you notice to vacate in 60days (unless an exception applies depending on your exact tenancy agreement). You could refuse to leave and then he can go to the courts and under a new expedited process get bailiffs to toss you out in 2-4wks or so (depends on the court district workload).

All it takes is pissing off an already unreasonable prick of a landlord, so wouldn’t take much to do. So sending letters saying you have this right and that right and telling him how out of order he is, is going to risk your home.

So I caution you that while the above advice is legally and factually correct, the landlord still can legally revenge evict you and he sounds like the kind of prick who would enjoy doing it as he obviously got a kick over being the big man berating a woman and making her cry in her own home over nothing that was any of his business. He’s a bully. You’d be giving him an opportunity to bully you and your family- make your children homeless- if you pushed the issue.

I hate saying this, but I’d tidy to just appease him and if there are future small repairs, sort them myself to keep him from my front door.

which country are you in?

Bloody hell he's completely out of order.

Agree with everyone else. Get up to speed on your rights. Consult with Shelter if you need more advice and then put your foot down

Once the keys are handed over to a tenant, a landlord needs a court order to enter the property without the tenants permission except in the event of an emergency or a threat to health and safety - and this means something like a fire in the property.

Going in without a court order and without permission is a serious matter, in some cases a tenant can sue for damages or get an injunction to stop the landlord doing it again. Shelter has quite a lot of info about this including a form of letter you can send to your landlord about unannounced visits or going beyond the permission you gave

You have a legal right to quiet enjoyment of your home. This means that, irrespective of what your tenancy agreement may say about landlord or agent inspections, you do not have to give anyone including your landlord access to your property, except in the event of an emergency and the courts have a high threshold about what they will accept is an emergency.

I’m a landlord, your landlord is bang out of order!

Below is shelters description of your tight to quiet enjoyment:

This means your right to make use of your home without disturbance from the landlord or anyone acting on their behalf.
You have this right even if you never had a written agreement, or if your fixed term assured shorthold tenancy has ended.
It could breach your right to quiet enjoyment if your landlord:
comes into your home without permission
refuses to carry out repairs or safety checks
interferes with gas, electricity or water supply
is abusive, threatening or overly persistent about any issue
visits frequently without notice, appointment or agreement

He needs to give 24 hours notice for inspection. Access is only allowed otherwise in an emergency.

He cannot evict you for being cluttered: no fault evictions are in fact being scrapped.

I would be cautious about complaining to letting agents as if you have been renting for four years you are likely paying under current market rates as rents have gone up a lot.

No* yes if you have a letting agency definitely contact them!

Yes out of order. And know he isn't within his own right he needs to give 24 hours notice.

He’s bang out of order. He’s got no right to inspect in the way he has.

I’d speak to shelter and make sure you know the process if he does decide to evict. There are a lot of LL’s panicking about the rent reform bill that has been tabled in Parliament so he may be one that’s considering selling up.

He rarely gives any notice when he inspects, just turns up and then says 'I'm within my rights to inspect my own house'.

He’s completely wrong. He needs both to give notice and get your permission to just do an inspection.

Wow that’s awful! He was well out of order. You are NOT being unreasonable x

Contact Shelter for advice, well out of order!