To not let other people feed my FF baby?

Midwives even advise that you keep the number of people who bottle feed your baby to a minimum- something to do with building bonds with key care givers etc. the same way breast feed babies so with mum.

If your MIL is a pain in the arse and hasn't been considerate over other things I wouldn't be laying her feed baby. Especially if they were comments about you not breastfeeding as she wouldn't have got to do that either so she can jog on.

I don't know about the person you're quoting, but I've had two. And I loved seeing their grandparents holding them. I have some absolutely beautiful candid photos of my dad and my MIL, both now dead, gazing at the days old grandchild that they're holding with pure and instinctive love and wonder.

I'm so glad I wasn't one of those 'keep off, it's my baby' new mums. Which to be fair, really wasn't a thing back in the 80s when mine were born. I'm also very appreciative that my DD was equally generous with her babies too.

Have you ever had a newborn baby?

Exactly! I don’t get the obsession with feeding someone else’s baby. It’s like expecting to put them to sleep and sing lullabies. It’s all for the other person not the child. It’s like making them hug you. Unnecessary.

Lots of comments here about the baby 'not being a doll/
toy' but lots of mums acting just like children who have a new toy they don't want to share ...

And to answer pps about how I'd feel if I was the grandparent... absolutely fine! I would never expect or request to feed someone else's baby. It's not my baby.

Oh,they will absolutely respect their DIL's views, some have even said so on this thread 😉

OP, I felt the same and nobody but me or my husband fed our baby until she was about 8 months, when my MIL started being more involved with care and did a few feeds. I think it can be stressful for a baby to have someone strange to them feeding!
I always tried to think about what would make my baby comfortable rather than her being a doll for others to 'have a go' - nobody whips out a tit to breastfeed someone's baby! Plenty of other ways for extended family to bond.

I wonder how the control freaks will feel if they have DIL's in the future who are so possessive over feeding?

Oh I've read it all now, so should "let" the babies own father feed their own baby a bottle!

Really??
But I suppose you will have made your point, whatever that might be, and showed her who's boss. But what'the end game here?

"I felt uncomfortable with anyone other than me or my partner giving my LO a bottle. Until they got to about 6 months. "

and so many more comments like this on this thread....

So unhealthy 🤐

I couldn't agree more.

I'm a first time mum of a baby myself and couldn't imagine being as uptight or controlling as some of the threads I've seen on here.

You can do what you want and if that’s only you and DH feeding them then go for it. Next time you want to eat and it’s feeding time then ask her then and if she refuses that was her chance

Contrary to lots of posts on here, women older than 40 are not a danger to your baby and their 'old-fashioned' ways will not harm your baby.

@Katypp But but but aren't they all interfering, judgemental, narcissistic, know-it-all bitches.... Or at least the ones that have sons anyway. The ones with daughters seem to be amazing! 😝

new

This simply isn't true for many things. We have research for a reason. It does lead to safer care. Your pride doesn't need to take a knock because someone younger than you knows something knew. It's not a bad thing!

Exactly, it's just another way to put even more pressure on new mums and peddle the baby led trope.
Advice does change and it will change again. The advice given to today's generation of mothers is not definitive and it does not make them better parents than generations that have gone before. Contrary to lots of posts on here, women older than 40 are not a danger to your baby and their 'old-fashioned' ways will not harm your baby.
I am not a grandmother but I would be mightily pissed off if any DIL either printed off the current guidelines for me to read or 'gently explained' how I am wrong. Both are regularly suggested on MN to bring grandparents in line if they do something outrageous like suggest putting baby down so they get used to sleeping alone or not feeding them hunks of food they could choke on.
In the not to distant future, today's advice will be sneered at by the next generation of parents, who - IMO - will be battling to get their baby into a routine because today's advice will result in an epidemic of mental health problems and broken marriages.

In 10 years time the advice will all be different. People get so uptight over something so simple. Do you really think your DC will remember who did & who didn’t feed them!

It seems crazy to me not to encourage the Dad to be involved in feeding if the baby is going to be formula fed. Surely it’s beneficial to have a strong bond with both parents and the Mum is going to be doing all the daytime feeds while on maternity leave anyway. The biggest advantage of formula feeding for me was that my husband could share the burden of nighttime feeds allowing much more sleep for me. No one else fed our baby but no one also asked too (most family was far away and baby was pretty refluxy so whoever was feeding tended to get covered in milk vomit - not so appealing to other people)

This is your baby so it's your choice. I ebf my ds and I have always pumped so he could take the odd bottle. I'll be honest it is really lovely to be able to feed him in that way and I feel really lucky that it's worked out OK for us but it's extremely demanding and there's been times when I've been unwell or just wanted to have a glass of wine (I know some people drink and feed and its probably fine I just haven't researched it enough) or to go out to get my hair done for a few hours etc and him taking a bottle for my dh was a relief because it meant I got that rest. That being said ff babies feed less often so it might not feel as intense in terms if demand and sleep deprivation so in that case why shouldn't you feed your baby when you want and how you want. It's a baby not a novelty or a doll to pass round. Plus the recommendations for feeding are different now, we used paced bottle feeding and my mum struggled to get her head round it. Ds also point blank refuses to take a bottle for anyone else now. And while it's good I can still feed him, it's stressful in that I can never get him minded and haven't been able to do any kit days as I'd intended and had to extend my mat leave. So positives and negatives to both. I think for now you feed as you see fit and if it is emotional and you see it as a bonding moment for you both then go for it. I would let your dh get involved though- my dh can't do any bedtimes because ds feeds to sleep and will not settle for him now which I know makes him feel left out and means I'm busy with that for hours every evening when I'm maybe already tired and drained from a full day. So I think do it for as long as it works for you, but you sound like a really attentive bonded mummy so someone else doing a bottle won't make a dent in the lovely connection you've built with your wee one.

It's just making a big deal about something that really isn't and weaponising it be try to micromanage the ILs though, isn't it? That is clearly the nub of this complete non-issue

…OP isn’t preventing anyone doing that? I’ve never fed any of my friends’ babies but I’ve cooed at and cuddled them all.

Personally, I think babies belong in families. (I also think there are many different ways of making a family!) the more people gaze at a baby and coo at a baby and tell a baby she's perfect and wonderful and safe and loved the better.

Exactly. it is not wise or clever to dismiss any behavior no matter how ridiculous as YBYR.