To not let other people feed my FF baby?

Hi OP, I note your baby has issues with the bottle so just wondering if they may have a tongue tie? This can cause problems with latch. Apologies if someone has already mentioned this but just thought it might be helpful. In regards to people feeding your baby, if you're not comfortable there's not much you can do to change that, I'm sure you're relatives would enjoy being involved in other baby related things such as bath time. I also felt inner rage when my MIL kept asking to take my baby out in her pram to parade her around. I now know I was being ridiculous but at the time she didn't offer any other practical help and just wanted to show her off. It's not easy having a new baby!

I’m surprised by the responses. Quite interesting!

For me, your baby, your rules regardless of why.

I get where your coming from; feeding a baby that takes time to match on is incredibly frustrating to watch especially when you know the baby is hungry; it’s lovely that in laws visit but great when they piss off home & your home becomes your sanctuary again😂 perhaps your mil is like mine has sling like a rhino; she just doesn’t take the hint; I love her dearly but sometimes I want to scream “WILL YOU JUST STOP” maybe make arrangements to be going away next time they suggest they’re visiting

My midwife actually told me if I was going to FF to only let me and DH do it as to encourage bonding.

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong though. It’s your baby, do what you feel comfortable with!

Hormones can affect how you feel about anyone else interacting with your baby. You can't help it if you feel strongly about it.

I hope I wasn't being horrible or judgemental. I certainly didn't mean to be. There's an awful lot of pressure on new mums. I remember seeing a young mum in floods of tears at the clinic, because the health visitor was really having a go at her for not breast feeding.

If you get on with and like your MIL and you don't mind her being involved in other ways I really can't see what the problem is to let her feed the baby once in a while?! It absolutely shouldn't be so much of an issue unless of course MIL lives with you and is around ALL the time badgering you at every feed?! You need to chill just a little or it will get out of hand and spoil an otherwise potentially good relationship with your MIL who's help, I can categorically assure you, with many things in the future you will be VERY grateful for, especially if you have other children!! 🙄👶

Do whatever you want, it's your baby. Tell them if they want to help they can wash the bottles.

You haven’t heard of it because it’s utterly unremarkable.

That’s absolutely fine and it’s also ok for more than a week.

The first three months are really important. I’m not saying you shouldn’t let other people feed a small baby, Im saying it’s perfectly ok to keep it to the mother. I hate horrible judgemental comments to a new mother.

You’re absolutely right- It’s really recommended as few people as possible feed your baby, this lets them learn a consistent technique & feeding is about connection as much as nutrition. You obviously enjoy feeding your baby and relatives may feed differently which can be distressing for your baby. No need to share until you feel ready, don’t be pressured into it. There’s many many other things they can do to help.

I wouldn't have let anyone other than myself and my partner in the first week. After that I allowed both grandmothers and my stepdaughter (who was 17). I certainly don't think it's a good idea to pass young babies around to all and sundry - they're people after all, not toys, but assuming your MIL isn't a danger in any way, it will be an important thing for her. My daughter breastfed my granddaughter but expressed milk for me to feed her, which I loved doing.

Never heard of this before and only letting certain people feed to bond etc. We do make such a fuss about things don't we. It was never an issue for me and was glad of the break/free time and anyone could feed them. Not specifically targeting in laws. Pick your battles.

Trust your instinct. End of. That's your job as a mother. xx

DDIL - demon daughter in law

Anyone, including her DH! But good question, I wonder would she feel the same if her own mother asked to feed the baby!

I don’t think so love I feel the same really. I breastfeed my husband and my mum feed my baby but I feel anxious anyone else doing it as she has issues with reflux and I kind of know when she needs a break and to be burped. It is whatever you are comfortable with. Anything that causes me with anxiety with my daughter sets off alarm bells for me and at the end of the day you need to be happy for your baby to be happy.

I absolutely understand where you are coming from. I struggled to breastfeed and had to formula feed due to jaundice. Only my partner and myself ever gave our son a bottle. I still have a huge feeling of guilt for not being able to breastfeed (son is now 10!). Do what feels right for you.

If you’ve never had the option of breastfeeding taken away from you, you can never understand how this feels.

Wait until you have further kids. You'll allow the postman to help out with feeding by then lol 🙄

Is it you don’t want anyone feeding baby or just your in laws?

My 4th is 9 weeks old and I love when other people are here at feed time and take over!
I've never heard that it's recommended that only mum and dad should feed baby at the start - in hospital the midwives took my baby away both nights to let me sleep and they fed him overnight!

I've had 4, none of them have given a crap who feeds them . Same with 3 of my 4 gc, one of them was a bottle refuser so that was a no after looking after her once

But most of the posts on here are about the mother, not the child. How can it possibly be in the baby's interests to no be fed by its father. Sure, there have been a few half-hearted attempts to justify the controlling behaviour as being 'advice' but it's abundantly clear the driving force behind it is to use the baby as a pawn to control the MIL

I have a 5 month old and agree with pp.

I 've had three. Why?